Asking for blunt honesty here because I can't deal with this drama right now so just tell me if I've been an asshole and if so I'll go and apologise.

I'm currently planning my mother's funeral on behalf of my siblings (they live overseas and are not here yet). My mother and father were divorced but were on good terms. In particular, my mother was close friends with my father's new wife.

This women - my father's current wife - has an ongoing dispute with my wife. They have a long long history of bad blood between each other. Both of them have said extremely hurtful things to one another. Obviously I think my wife is less of an asshole between the two, but both are definitely wrong for saying the things they have.

Anyway even though I really dislike this women, I have to invite her to my mother's funeral service because: 1. She's my father's wife and 2. She was close friends with my mom. My wife was livid at finding out about this and insists I put my foot down and not let her attend the service.

So for two long days she constantly nags me about this bringing it up every hour. I keep telling her the same thing about why she needs to come. I try to compromise by saying if my wife is so uncomfortable she doesn't need to attend, and I wont hold it against her. She refuses this as she wants to be there to support me.

So a few hours ago she brings the topic up yet again and I lose my tempter. I tell her (paraphrasing)

"Just shut up already. You don't get a day in this. You don't get to dictate my mother's funeral for Christs sake. Just leave me alone already."

I did not say it calmly. I yelled it and was definitely angry because I'm busy organising my mother's funeral. She has gone off crying and I'm left wondering if I went too far.

I can't deal with this nonsense and I'm just going to accept whatever judgement is given and go with that.