|Submited on :||Wed, 15th of May 2019 - 08:39:17 AM|
|Post ID :||boqyrz|
|Post Name :||t3_boqyrz|
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|Subreddit ID :||t5_2qh33|
Sweet. What does the inside say?
It doesn't say anything. It's just full of candy!
Man I love Bizarro.
Lol I know
relevant - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwcISbKQkGk
You know what never got the credit it deserves? Viva Pinata & their ads.
That was getting alarmingly close to Charlie the Unicorn Goes to Candy Mountain.
I’m disappointed in the lack of murder involved in that commercial.
I think we need another viva pinata
Dude. What does the outside say?
'If found, please return to ...'
That piñata looks so satisfied!
I'm really happy for it 🙃
“In Soviet Russia...”
As Alec Baldwin would say in Malice: "It doesn't say anything. It reads."
I love bizzaro such an underrated Sunday funny.
So when I was growing up, maybe like 11-12 years old, I would read the comics and I would never be able to "get" the Bizarro comics. Just could not understand why they were funny. I would ask everybody in my family if they got it and we all concluded that it was just lame/weird/not funny.
Years later, I started noticing that they actually were funny in a, um, bizarre, way and started enjoying them. Since that time, I've always thought, "Man, that Piraro guy really improved." Only just now, I realized, maybe it was me that grew up and started to "get it."
I'd have to go back through the historical Bizarro archive to see what I think of the early ones now, but did anybody else have this experience? Or, if you've been following the comic for a long time, have you noticed any change or reduction in weirdness to more "gettable" humor over the years?
Back in the 90s I saw a Bizarro panel that became my all-time favorite Piraro funny. It was two cowboys in the old West. One cowboy was standing behind a bass cello holding it up. A few feet away, another cowboy was holding a flute and pointing menacingly at the man with the bass.
The cowboy with the flute says, "You better wipe that smirk off yer bass unless yer lookin' for treble."
I laughed and laughed and laughed at that one. I cut it out, "laminated" it with scotch tape and kept it with me for years. I lost it in one of my moves and haven't seen it since.
Another of my Piraro favorites is a Medieval scene.
A peasant in a horse-drawn cart is stopped by a knight. The knight is looking at the peasant's identification. The knight says, "This time, I shall let thee off with a warning, but next time I shall be forced to smite thee." I laughed pretty hard at that one, too.
Bizarro has always been Bizarro to me. I'm probably a bit older so I had this same experience with The Far Side and Calvin and Hobbes but then they became my favorite comics in the paper.
Pie, dynamite, eyeball, alien....
Really disappointed that they’re not hidden in this
Otters have a pocket where they keep their favorite rock.
Amen! I used to read the Sunday comics in order of my favourites, and Bizarro was always number 1
My paper never had it on Sundays but we did have it during the weekdays
What the fuck did I just read?
welcome aboard the SCP Foundation! You've been promoted to D-Class :D
Is... Is that a good thing?
Sure, if you're suicidal. If you aren't then don't worry! You will be soon ;)
Already pretty close. If she gets a new boyfriend that will certainly be enough to push me over.
Sorry man. It sucks but don't let it get to you
Bruh don't say that shit. Realize you're the ten trillionth billionth zillionth person who has felt heartbreak and move the fuck forward. Become better, not pitiful. Take what you can learn and run with it and use it to become a better version of yourself. Do it for yourself and for nobody else.
Whoah that was an interesting read
It’s like creepy enough to be really interesting but not scary enough to genuinely scare me
Jesus that girl in the bottom right looks like she’s scarred for life
Most kids who witness a murder are
Just wait until the pinata starts eating his innards.
It was clearly self defense!
Nah, he even had his victim blindfolded, the sick bastard.
Just gotta take them in and make sure they only kill bad people to suppress their urges.
She's purple. I can only assume she was eating something when this all went down and choked on it. She's moments away from losing consciousness, and given the chaos, it seems extremely unlikely that she'll get help in time to save her life.
After some meth
... That kid, basically makes the whole card
The other kid looks like he's going to be dead for the rest of his life.
Thank you, wanted to play the game!
I’m glad Gerald is finally taking charge.
Was looking for this comment ❤️ dillon
Inside probably says:
-Hope your birthday is a hit! -Hope this birthday beats the last one! -This year, show them how it’s really done.
SCP-956 has breached containment.
Peace was never an option
Ooh I miss Bizarro and Gary Larson.
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⡀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⣉⣉⣉⡉⠙⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⠔⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢉⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀ ⣿⠃⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠋⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠁⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⣠⣄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢀⡴⠚⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏ ⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⠴⠋⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠈⠁⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢀⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣠⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⠄⠄⣿ ⠈⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣉⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠠⠺⣷⣿ ⣿⣦⣄⣈⣉⣉⣉⣡⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠁⣀⣼⣿⣿
1st level Conjuration
Casting Time: 1 action
Components: V, S, M (piece of candy)
Duration: 10 minutes or until dispelled.
You summon a multicolored, paper-maché beast within range with a statblock provided below. The Piñata beast acts on its own initiative, and the dungeon master has full control over its actions. The Piñata beast regards you as friendly on the first round it is summoned.
The Piñata Beast can resemble any creature appropriate for its size but does not gain any stats or abilities from the associated creature, nor does it lose any of its established abilities.
At Higher Levels: When this spell is cast at 3rd level, the Piñata Beast is medium sized and has 20hp. When this spell is cast at 5th level, the Piñata Beast is large sized and has 40hp.
Small construct, unaligned.
Armor Class 9
Hit Points 10 (3d6)
STR 10 (+0)
DEX 8 (-1)
CON 10 (+0)
INT 2 (-4)
WIS 8 (-1)
CHA 14 (+2)
Senses Passive Perception 9
Languages cannot speak and does not understand any languages.
Challenge 0 (0xp)
Candy Comes Out!: When the Piñata Beast dies, its insides pour out in multicolored jubilance. If eaten, the candy from the Piñata Beast can heal a creature for 1 hit point.
A Small Piñata Beast provides 8 doses of this candy.
If the Piñata Beast is medium sized, this ability provides 12 doses and heals for 2 hit points each.
If the Piñata Beast is large sized, this ability provides 24 doses and heals for 2 hit points each.
This candy does not provide any nourishment to fend off starvation.
Bash: Melee unarmed attack +0 to hit, reach 5ft., one target. Hit 2 (1d4) bludgeoning damage.
"Should'va taken the shot fatass"
Is that Gerald??
Is this what you call satire?
I love it, what's it say inside??
"Pin-nada the tail on this donkey motherfucker".
Oh how the turntables
Damn Gerald doesn’t mess around anymore...
My mom clipped this comic out of our local newspaper years ago when I was in college and sent it to me in the mail with I card. I still have it today on my fridge door. Love bizarro
My friend Dan Piraro did this. He’s an amazing artist that lives in L.A., that does mostly comics and cards like this. I’ve known him most my life. He’s a very chill, down to earth guy with a great sense of humor.
For some reason I thought this was a post about Viva Piñata at fist...
Is that considered an .. ass beating?
This is why the Fortnite devs refuse to put weapons in the llamas.
I didn't get a cool card like that today.... I got scribble from a 3 year old
Bizarro! My fav.
“HOW DO YOU LIKE IT”
Pinata was woke and decided to take action for its fallen brethren. No candies shall be spilled on this day.
Llamas with(out) Hats: 2019 Edition.
This summer... the pinata, fights back!
Everybody gangster till the piñata starts beating YOU.
now how will the pinata check the kids pockets for candy?
Its still stealth if no one lives to tell the tale
SCP! DO NOT ENGAGE!
Oh how the turntables
Oh how the piñatas have turned
Even funnier if the kid’s brain matter was splattered across the grass, similar to how candy would be with a regular piñata.
he needs to keep hitting he hasn't gotten the candy out yet.
You're just beating a dead child with a stick at this point.
Man, I miss reading Bizarro.
I literally just got this same card from my wife for my birthday this past Saturday.
“Well, well, well......How the turntables”
And that boy's name?
Star Party:Revenge of the Pinatas
The feet running away killed me 😂
Best revenge ever.haha
Kinda looks like it could be an album cover tbh
Today is my birthday too!
SCP-[REDACTED] has breached containment, deploying MTF
Looks like a vintage Gary Larson except for the style.
Revenge is always sweet!
Enough is enough
Well well well tables have turned
Are you my husband?
Well that someone probably doesn’t love you😂
Piñata says: "where's the candy?"
This is what happens when you play viva piñata all night while drinking cough medicine
The only season of fortnite I want to play.
Now time to eat HIS INSIDES!!
They made a horror movie with this premise, Killer Piñata
You could make a weekend movie binge out of movies with the premise of inanimate objects turning psycho. There's the one about the paper bags, the tire, donuts, tomatoes, beds, snowmen ...
We share the same birthday! Love you OP ❤️❤️
I am a piñata and God is the 12 year old birthday boy who's parents are getting a divorce
Some times you get Pinata, some times the pinata get you...
that's a threat
All is as it should be.
How do you like it you bastards
I'd love to see one exactly like this only instead of kids it's just a bunch of other pinatas with their candy guts everywhere.
I love it. Happy birthday!
You are gettin old my friend for this shit
the piñata strikes back
At'll do Donkey... At'll do...
Theres a movie version of your card
I'd frame it
Who wants to play hide the whacking stick?
Born on 5/14? Me too!!!
Piñata: “How about we see what’s inside YOU?!”