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Coons before poons
rabies before babies
Trash pandas before Amandas
Racs before racks
Cooties before cuties
Critters before titters
Vermin before spermin
Ok, while they were all good this one tops it for me.
I think you've got that backwards. That racoon is definitely cute and we all know that girls have cooties.
Rocket before cock-it
Ring tails before females
Trash pandas before a man does what?
Trash pandas before Trash Amandas.
Hello rabies my old friend...
I need a vaccine again....
Because a critter's softly creeping
Bites my face while I was sleeping
And the disease, that was planted in my brain
Now I'm afraid…
… of water.
It's razor teeth they hit the bone...
Now my rabid brain is grown.
Now climbing up a street lamp
The foam makes my face feel damp
and the pain... that's delivered, to my
brain... still remains
all I know...
... is madness
Flying a bit too close to the black hole sun.
It's like if Samuel L. Jackson and Clark Gregg switched roles in Avengers.
Black Coulson, wontcha come...
The best fucking comment all day
Dude coons are the shit. Hung out with a baby a month ago, I miss the little guy. https://i.imgur.com/dFBl8zl.jpg
Yeah they're cool unless you're a small dog or cat. Then they'll lure you into water to drown you, or grab you by the collar and slash your stomach to eat the dog food inside. Racoons are the most cunning killers of pets in the U.S.
What the actual fuck!? Does this actually happen
yes. Also when raising a raccoon once they start to mature and get to puberty they go from cuddly and sweet to strong minded, doing what they want and when, they are super smart so they act out and manipulate push the boundaries of what they can get away with and in general wreak havoc on you and your home.
I'm from the south and we raise chickens among orher things and have lost so many chickens we have raised from chicks to maturity and ones we had to isolate and nurse back to health and care for. When you put that much time into something only to have them slaughtered for no reason, it's quite upsetting and off putting. They only eat part of one or two and just kill, maim, as many as they can for no reason most of the time.
We have now built a chicken super max. To keep them safe from outside predators. It's 12 feet tall with 1/4 wire fencing and the fencing goes a foot below the ground, so it's unlikely anything will dig under. The holes of the fencing are only a quarter inch so no snake capable of killing a chicken can fit through the gaps. At the top of the wall are two hot wires set 8 inches apart so even if anything climbs up high enough to breach the top of the fence they can't miss both hot wires. even if they somehow missed the first one they couldn't avoid the second based on how they would be positioned for an animal of a racoons size while climbing. The fence would give them an electric shock and knock them off.
Now say they get past all that the chicken coop is 4 feet off the ground. the four post have chicken wire wrapped around them and there is a gate. So at night chickens go into roost. you close the gate and nothing can access the hatch to the upper coop. (this did happen actually once before we electrified the top, something got in past the sealed gate and up the ramp. No idea how) so we installed a trap door in the coop that bolts from the inside. Haven't lost a bird since. (you can open one side of the coop it's on hinges for cleaning and letting them get air and sun while laying during the day. There is also bird netting across the top of the chicken coop to prevent predatory birds trying to take chickens from above.
I kinda want to see a picture of this Chicken Super Max now...
They can become mean af after they hit raccoon puberty
Edited out sticky raccoons
Should see what they do to chickens. They literally go blood lust, khorne style, and will slaughter an entire coup. Only eat the breast meat to. They will not stop till all of them are dead.
i was half expecting this comment to go another way with a different picture, but i am not disappointed.
Gettin some coontang.
I wish I could tell you how funny this is to my personal life
EDIT: If there’s anyone here that can say why, you’re more than welcome. Otherwise I’m okay with people thinking I Finger Raccoons.
That escalated quickly
this picture of me resurfaces like every 6 months with a new caption lmao
Edit: The raccoon is a pet, he does film work and is a sweet boy. We have three other raccoons, a fox, goats, pigs, opossums, skunks, dogs, cats, etc.. 90% of our animals are rescues who were unreleasable. We also do animal education programs at schools on top of the commercial work and have permits for everything. We love all the critters just like anyone would a normal cat or dog and they have large enclosures and get to come out and play in our huge yard and swimming pond all the time. Hopefully this covers most of your questions!
No way. Do you raise them and release them? Like what is the goal? Serious question.
Also TIL raccoons like water.
Freaking love raccoons. I wish they werent so mean.
I don't think they are. There's this guy on YouTube, James Blackwood, who feeds the ones around his house. They're timid but don't seem in the slightest bit mean.
Uh... I... you know what for once I’m going to pass.
When I was about 10, my parent's friend had two pet raccons. They'd roam the house, ride in the truck with him, whatever. So the first time I see them, I was like oh cool raccoons! From like ten feet away. One immediately launched itself at me, flew through the air, and wrapped around my head like a fucking alien facehugger. Knawing on my forehead freaking out on me. Dude had to peel it off of me.
sounds like you've been rabid since age 10.
They're not that mean as long as you have food. I was just regaling this story to a friend the other day:
I was like in the woods hand feeding a pack of raccoons one day, just minding my own business and my friend was like "dude what are you doing?" That was when I realized...they were taking the food out of my hand with theirs, running off and eating then lining up for more. I had become the raccoon whisperer. Also I was handfeeding a pack of wild animals that's related to bears. So I took what bits of food I had left and chucked it all a few yards away so I could back out while they scrambled.
I don't know how they would have acted when I ran out of food, but they were basically like a group of cute puppies when I had the food.
Let me guess you are the raccoon?
Oh wow, it is you! How is your raccoon friend doing these days?
This is a splash panda.
I bet his Racoon girlfriend wont suck his friends dick by “accident”.
In a row?
"Try not to suck any dick while floating down the river!!!"
At least I wasnt 36.
But it won't bring him lasagna at work.
The raccoon will wash your dick before polishing it.
You can and probably do talk to girls every day. How often do you get to pet a raccoon?
I pet a raccoon once by accident and It was exhilarating for both of us.
Who needs beavers when you have a raccoon?
Who needs a beaver when you can get some coon poon
Playing the ol’ “hard to get guy who’s in love with a raccoon” angle. I like it.
Listen man, I've never been to a party that didn't have girls. But I've been to a lot of parties that didn't have tame raccoons.
is that a fuckin raccoon
No. There's three people and a raccoon
It could be..based on body positions
That's probably his sisters
Unfortunately this is probably the answer. That or a sister and her best friend, who is untouchable.
I’m not related to either of them and I used to see the blonde one off and on (I guess they are both blonde, but the one on the left)
I grew up with pet raccoons. They're kind of a cross between a cat and a toddler. They LOVE water as long as they know they aren't going to drown. Mine would jump in the bath with me.
Edit: and they have thumbs and are obsessed with fire. Don't leave cigarette lighters out. They can and will set shit on fire just for lulz. Flick flick flick...
Coon before poon!
Coon over poon!
Tuns of fish in the sea, very few raccoons though
These girls seem to be completely ignoring the raccoon, therefor, they don't seem like the kind of people i'd want to hang out with anyway.
Yeah. I have women ignoring me all the time. I almost never get to have a raccoon on my lap.
Rising of the Shield Hero (2019) Netflix adaptation
nice dog dude
Ok. But why the girls not also enamored by the cuddly raccoon friend? They psychopaths or something?
Guardians of the galaxy 3 is looking pretty low budget
Let’s be honest, how often can you befriend a raccoon
Can confirm. Knew a girl who tried to domesticate one. It was not having it. It stunk up her apartment and would freak out and climb everyone in weird ways when they tried to pick him up.
Raccs before Racks
"I don't care how hot a woman is. Someone, somewhere is tired of fucking her." - Chris Rock
I'm so jealous of this guy's life rn
Trash pandas deserve love too!
So this was one of of the others masters that Raphtalia had before the shield hero.
They're already in a pool with him and a raccoon. Whatever he's doing, it's working.
How is his face not a bloody pulp? Aren’t raccoons rather aggressive?
A lot of hillbillies raise them from birth as house pets
Not if you raise them from birth. You can litter box train them too. Having child locks on all your cupboards is a pain but they can be fun quirky pets.
First they steal your trash then your man
Who needs girls when you have a trash panda?
Fuckin rakens Julien
What else are you suppose to try after a threesome with two babes?
Thinking about it, we see women often. It’s not everyday you get to play with a trash panda
Does he know it’s a raccoon and not a cat?
what a sweet rabbit
Why are so many people saying they want to have sexual relations with that trash panda?
This is pretty dangerous, I hear even domesticated they can be prone to attack unprovoked and become violent out of nowhere. That guy and his coon should be on guard.
I’m not saying all white people do this, but only white people do this
He’s gonna be in a world of hurt when he finds out his girlfriend Lisa is in fact, not a raccoon, but a possum in a burglar mask.
Trash Bandit makeout session > human makeout session......lol
He is playing the long game.. Letting them come to him. Its strategy here.
Racoons are attracted to trash.
My stupid sister and her friend are just jealous af of you
When things are going bad...well, go the raccoon's way
I call the big one bite-y
Gotta respect how he has his priorities in check
Two beavers in the water and this guy goes for the raccoon.
Raccoons > Beavers
Rabies before ladies
Maybe he just didn't take care of it well? I've pet a raccoon before and it wasn't greasy at all. It was a young raccoon though, so maybe that had something to do with it.
I don't think they're supposed to be gross like that... Never heard of that. The problem with them as pets is they get mean as fuck if you don't fix them and they get into EVERYTHING. These fuckers can open fridges. They're little trash loving monkeys.
Who knows, maybe his got into something he shouldn't have
He didnt take care of it. Recently rescued 2 baby racoons. Coarse fur, but not greasy at all. Didnt smell at all either. We did bathe them regularly. Eventually found a home for them at a nature center who took them in from us.
I love this
Would 100% risk rabies for snugs with a raccoon
I mean, how often do you get to chill with a raccoon in a pool? That’d definitely be my first pick.
Me with my dog. Minus the pretty women and pool.
You can text the girls but you can’t text the raccoon.
This Man is a hero and should be treated as such.
Love them trash pandas lol
Hes right though
racoon is love
Looks like shit is about to get weird
When did Tom Holland get a tattoo?
Nice trash panda
Yeah I'm horny and all, but this wild animal trusts me to not drown it and I don't want to miss my chance to be Disney princess
Hey I know this guy! For this wondering the two girls in the background are his mom and his sister!
Edit: for those wondering the Raccoon’s name is Boomer