I really cannot handle it anymore, i am literally suicidal. I am posting this with a second account just because i don't want anyone to know this about my personal life (some people know my reddit acc) my mother keeps yelling at me from the morning, this morning she stepped it up, she told me to get up, so i said ok, leave the room and i will (i am very self
conscious about my looks so i don't feel comfortable around anyone, she left and came back not a minute later with a bowl of water and started calling me lazy, saying i won't amount to anything, this got me scared because i want to be an electrician, so my dad gave me tools and parts to practice, i had one on and it doesn't have the best protection because i take it apart a lot (220V open wires and water everywhere is not good) when the bowl was empty, she throwed it at me (she missed), she woke me up just because i am "lazy" and it's "late" it was 8 am, she is screaming at me while i'm writing this, she usually screams and calls me lazy, tells me i won't amount to anything, tells me she shouldn't have given birth to me. I work for this woman, i walk her dog and i overall do tech repairs, so i make my own money, i don't have allowance, she started screaming about how i don't bring any money to our home, how i don't help anywhere money wise (i am 15 so i cannot legally have a job and she is jobless herself) She screams stuff like "what sort of hell did you come from?" and "I wouldn't have given birth to you if i knew how retarded you would be" (I have no mental illness) she likes to call me retarded a lot, kicking my shoes into my room, she says i haven't done anything good for the family or anyone, my best moments are when i', building/programming something (i started getting into robotics) she says she'll destroy it all when she has the chance, so i am afraid to leave my room, i started working on an electric lock for my room, i work on this stuff to get better at it and to hopefully land me a job or a scholarship, now all my projects are at risk of destruction. With all this that has been going on it's getting worse, i am already insecure and socially awkward, i am now suicidal, is this abuse or am i overreacting? how can i make her stop
Ps my dad works in another country because it pays better, she never does any of this shit when he is home, she doesn't even raise her voice, and she makes such realistic stories about my "actions" no one believes me, even my dad, he says that there's no way that mom would be lying. is there a way to convince him?