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I studied urban planning to get better at sim city
Not exactly a major but I’m a criminal justice major and I took my county’s citizens police academy to learn more about the police department and build my résumé. Apparently a guy who took it years ago was a rapist who was taking it to learn how sex crimes investigations worked to avoid getting caught.
Ted Bundy learned a lot from seeing psychologists and the sort not surprised.
I study theoretical mathematics so that no one will question me when I go off to live alone in Siberia.
Yeah honestly I don't think anyone's ever surprised when a theoretical mathematician wanders off to live alone lol. Kinda part of the reason why I got into it too.
"I'm taking auto mechanics classes at community college so I can pimp my own ride."
How is that cheaper than flame decals and stripes? You get the same speed boost either way.
This is kinda boring compared to other answers but I actually went to makeup/aesthetics/hair school so I can just do all that shit myself. I hate other people touching me. But I’ve made a solid career out of it lol
I studied architecture so can design a house I will never be able to afford on a site that doesn't exist with materials that come from science fiction.
I've recently heard an interview with a comedian on the radio who used to be a civil engineer while his wife is an architect. He talked about his experience of building their house, which was in large part his wife staying up late designing, then proudly asking "honey, doesn't that look great?" and him answering "yes honey, it does. Also, we can't afford that."
Was really entertaining.
My dad has degrees in both architecture and civil engineering. He has a picture of a futuristic style building hanging in his office with the caption "An architect's greatest dream is a civil engineer's worst nightmare."
Architect: "... the continuous sweeping curvature of the glass facade juxtaposes the jagged cliff face that it is built into. The structure itself is a deep representation of man and nature impinging and weaving upon and within itself. Each other never quite the same, but never fully separate. The structure itself contains no columns or beams, only the sinuous convex representations of human beauty. Reflected in the five story tall single piece mirrors are the encrusted Rocky mountains. The form gives way to its function, a large open concept space protecting man from nature built directly into the natural mountain, visible only as a glint in the mountains silhouette. So what do you think? We'd like to invite you to bid on this project."
Civil Engineer: "I think you've cracked. Excavation alone will eat you alive and will take at least half a decade. We will have to basically set up a city to house the workers since it's in the middle of no where and will have to train them all in advanced mountaineering and rock climbing skills apparently. You will have to invent a manufacturing method and material for your single glass pane, since none exist and no glass material is able to support its own weight at that scale. Then you will have to build a factory to make it. And if you can somehow do all that, you will have to find a way to hoist it 5000 feet up the mountain without breaking it and install it without influence from the wind. If that is somehow successful, congratulations, you just burned down your own city at the mountain base by concentrating sunlight at it like you're roasting ants on a sidewalk. If you can get past the forest fire of your own creation though, you still have to set up your own utility supply system complete with electrical generation plants, natural gas distribution, and water pumping stations at various points along the mountain. Oh yeah, you need multiple points of ingress and egress to the building itself, which is tough when you're 5000 feet up on a sheer rock face. But that assumes that you will somehow be able to transport people up there in the first. Which you never mentioned, so I have to assume that you gave no thought to that, just like the rest of the project. The only structural materials in existence to support this buildings are columns and beams, so if you want to eliminate those, you will have to invent something new. The only redeeming point is that the location is outside the jurisdiction of any city or county ordinance. But then again, it's a national park, so good luck getting permission to build it in the first place. The only juxtaposition here is going to be between your head full of crazy ideas and your empty bank account."
I study neuroscience because I have some kind of nervous system disorder and nobody knows what the fuck is going on in there so I figured I may as well bloody do it.
“I study music theory so I can make common practice era arrangements of meme songs to be performed in a professional setting”
So that's why I heard "Baby Shark" played on harpsichord at the Early Music conference.
edit: I didn't think anyone would see this story and was just firing it off quick before I went to bed. I've told a much longer and funnier version of this story 4 chapters long in another thread a year ago
The difference between what music theory actually is and what someone who doesn't know a damn thing about music thinks when they hear the words "music theory" is hands down the biggest ass gap I've ever encountered.
I was working at Upenn. I'd occasionally take random low level classes since the $6000 fee was waived as long as I got a C. I'd always wanted to know how to read music. When I saw the words "Music Theory 070" in the course catalog I couldn't understand a lick of the course description that followed, but I figured it must be something like that.
You'd think when the teacher polled the class on the first day and every other person in the class knew how to play multiple instruments, went to private music high schools and at least one had performed at the Met I would have realized I'd made a mistake.
I've never been so lost in my life.
Interesting as all hell though. Figured I'd get the hang of it.
And it was too late to drop the class.
Oh god the screams.
I've never worked so hard on something I was so bad at.
Teacher took pity on me. Once she figured out what had happened and made me swear up and down I wasn't going to try to move on to the next class she worked her ass off to teach me every damn thing my feeble brain could handle and invented some bizzare form of theoretical math that let her give my dumb ass that C.
The next year they renumbered the classes and introduced not one but 2 levels of intro classes below it as prerequisites you had to take or test out of. I'm pretty sure that was because of me.
I hung out with a lot of music majors in college and this was definitely a thing that happened.
One of my favorite moments was when some of us got together in the main lobby of the arts building and played an arrangement of the hoedown song from "Who's Line is it Anyway?" Our "band" included a grand piano, a trumpet, a guitar, a double bass, an alto sax, and a diatonic harmonica.
We all took turns making up lyrics, and we made fun of our classmates, professors, the school itself, etc.
It was a great waste of a few hours.
i study music so i can put together ensembles that should never exist with certain instruments ex: banjo and bassoon
I studied communications because having autism means half the time I don't understand social cues or if someone is trying to hint something. Communications studies saved me honestly.
I'm going the opposite route. I was pretty outgoing and social my whole life. Now that I'm studying communication, I feel very inept at interacting with others & often overthink/second-guess every little thing I do.
I'm studying Finnish so I can understand the lyrics to all this metal music.
Then follow up with Norwegian and Swedish?
Actually knew a guy who did that. He then spent his early 20's teaching English in Norway just so that he'd have an excuse to go to a ton of metal shows. Came back to the US, he now teaches Norwegian in the midwest.
A buddy became a pharmacist because he loooved his drugs. He wanted to KNOW them, not just do them.
He's still good at both.
My uncle studied horticulture based on his love for marijuana, and he’s used his degree for a career managing greenhouses and such for botanical gardens and zoos.
I've always been interested in drugs and I've been told I should be a pharmacist. Being interested in the fun drugs and the normal drugs are very different things.
I like to know how psychedelics and opioids work and whatnot, but knowing what prostate medication interacts with your heartburn meds does not sound interesting.
I’ll be honest, it doesn’t sound that cool but learning specifically why certain meds interact in weird ways is TOTALLY interesting in similar ways to how fun drugs are interesting.
Maybe give it a shot, there’s always those kind of boring parts of learning that are totally worth getting around.
Pharmacist student here.
My major interest is in narcotics and drugs. I find them extremely fascinating and they're my favorite topic outside of clinical medicine.
But even though things like NSAIDS may sound not very interesting (E.g Ibuprofen) I've found that they're actually extremely interesting in how they're metabolized and what pathways they take. Most dull medicines, and medicines in general, have very interesting pathways you actually wouldn't have thought about.
Of course I'm biased since it's going to be my profession to know these things with my masters. But I actually didn't think I'd be interested in such things when I started.
I study vet med so i can skip the doctors office.
Or work for the mob
Heart surgeon, number one!
And get some Rx's much cheaper!
Not just meds, I do IT work including cleaning computers and apparently the only source of gallon jugs of 99% isopropyl alcohol is next to the giant needles in the horse drug aisle at a local ranch supply store. When I put it on the counter they not only checked my ID, they copied it and typed all my info into the computer.
$18 per gallon, by the way. Most of the stuff you get at drug stores is 70% and/or has additives to make it taste bad, this is 99%. I use it with distilled water to rinse off electronics after washing them.
Dude, just get it off Amazon. You'll still end up on a list, but they make the data collection part much easier.
I had to get some "100%" alcohol off there, as even though it's in no way illegal in the UK stores over here apparently have a gentleman's agreement not to sell it. Instead you pay more for inferior cleaning products/solvents that contain a bunch of other crap in them.
The reason for all this, as near as I can tell, is because it can be used as a precursor in illegal drug manufacturing. It's used for this because it's a really good and really safe organic solvent, which is exactly the reason why I want to use it for cleaning difficult things that soap and water don't take.
It’s one of those things where the people who genuinely need it for legal reasons generally aren’t buying it over the counter. Chemists, for example would order it from the same channels that they order the rest of their supplies.
So, retailers are left with a situation where most people who would buy from them aren’t the sort of people that they would want to sell to.
I got a business degree so I can join a multi level marketing scheme
Speaking of business degree, a lot of people go to school for exercise science and think they can run their own gym. Knowing biomechanics and exercise programming doesn't tell you anything about running a business. I did a strength training internship and the guy running the gym said the best education to be a good gym owner is a business degree and letting fitness being your hobby and get the personal training and strength coaching certifications on the side while you're in school.
Oh god my classmate sold lularoe it all makes sense now
The only reason I learned proper lighting and editing was so that I could film porn and by then it all turned into actual work.
so do u film porn for a living now
I did for a while now I have a normal job.
Was fun till it wasn't and then fun again when I worked on my own but not a lot of people want a single man filming their sexy stuff so I got a 9-5 and occasionally will be called upon to film something for an independent model for manyvids or Iwantclips.
Are most porn producers women?
I think it is about a 60/40 male/female split in the ones I know but those are the more professional ones that have their own subscription sites. I'm sure there are significantly more male "producers" who record on cheap equipment and sell on clip sites.
"I study graphic design so I can design a fake diploma to hang on my wall when I don't graduate because of my crippling depression."
Always have a backup plan
"I got a degree in biomedical engineering so I can throw that in the face of my insane, homeopathic medicine obsessed aunt"
I mean, that's not the exact reason I studied that. But it's certainly a bonus.
Same! I'm not in the exact same field but I for sure have an insane, homeopathic medicine obsessed aunt. I've been having a recurring dream lately where I tell her she's full of shit...
To be fair, homeopathy is a great cure for self-diagnosed illnesses.
I study finance so I can lose all of my money trading stocks
I study organic chemistry so I can synthesize my own LSD
To be fair, that is quite an impressive synthesis.
"I study organic chemistry so I can synthesize my own meth" was my thought
You gotta hit it at the right time with the right wave lengths to be able to synthesize high quality product of it.
I study organic chemistry and can't synthesize an A on an exam.
To be fair I've synthesized aspirin before, but that's really not hard
Thats fuckin hard
Late here but: “I earned an environmental science degree so I can truly see how devastated our ecosystems are all while not be able to make any significant impact”
Ooo careful. A Phd candidate in my lab was telling me about 3 people from her Master's programs are now hermits. Like legit, off the grid, no human contact, hermits. 3 people! I forget exactly what her program was, but it was included in the environmental sciences category. Guess it got to them...
I took a few environmental science classes before graduating and man is it depressing. Every time you learn about an ecosystem or species, it's followed by, "And it is now being threatened to the point of extinction." Or something like how 90% of it has been destroyed, some irreversibly. Or something like, "Unless we stop polluting NOW." Really drives home the futility of it all.
I got an English degree just so I can correct other people on the internet.
And a linguistics degree will tell you that there is no "correct" English.
I take Japanese so I can watch anime without subtitles
This is literally the explanation that half of all Japanese 101 classes will give. No joke.
This is also why half the people won't make it to Japanese 102.
Then the class size will be about halved again for Japanese 201. But then by 202 your class size will have mostly leveled off but you can probably name the remaining students on your fingers.
However, while most students at this point have stuck it out as part of their major/minor there is still that one guy named Jeremy who is always wearing the Evangelion t-shirts, who truly hung in there just so he can translate his favorite manga.
Good on you Jeremy!
There will come a day, if there isn't already, where translating untranslated manga or anime is part of a sufficiently advanced Japanese class.
Not so sure about manga, but the way anime characters speak Japanese is, in many cases, not anything like how actual Japanese people speak. It is typically less formal and more "I am very badass" than a person would speak in real life.
For this reason Japanese people often think weebs who taught themselves Japanese via anime speak in a really odd and inappropriate manner.
Edit: Anybody who is interested in an in depth discussion of what I'm talking about should read this article: https://www.japanesewithanime.com/2019/02/suru-ga-ii-meaning.html?m=1
Way better than I could ever explain it because my Japanese is really, really shitty and I learned it from anime.
I take Japanese to be able to read this yaoi hentai my friend got me once, just so I can know what it says.
I study law to get away with crimes.
Alternatively, I study law so I can get the HOA to stop fucking with me.
Mechanical engineers just want to throw shit really far. Possibly while it's lit on fire. Sure they'll build you a bridge or whatever in the mean time, but their laser death cannon is why they got into this.
im a firm believer every ME has "secret" plans for a
planeFlying machine, a tank, and their own automatic fire Sidearm(automatic, laser, rail or Gaussgun).
they may not be on paper, but every ME has explored those 3 at least in their head.
The jokes about being one lab accident away from being a mad scientist feel accurate at times.
We don't need any control groups here.
Secret? Why? Not like anyone's going to understand my scribbled notes all over the workshop
I study nursing so I don’t have to check webMD whenever I have weird symptoms
"I study physical therapy so I can unfuck my body."
Seriously, tho, I started chewing properly with both sides of my mouth to avoid future pain because of my major.
Edit: silver?? Oh wow, i didn't expect my little comment to blow up like this! Thank you kind user, whom I won't mention :)
...you can chew improperly?
If you only chew to one side all the time it can impact your teeth, jaw, facial symmetry, neck, and back.
I have problematic back teeth and only chew on the left side I am now concerned
I am 100% in the exact same boat. Back right molar is completely topless, broken, and black inside. No money to fix it, have “dental” through the job but don’t make enough to copay it, so I just chew on the left side and hope it doesn’t kill me.
Edit: I’ll definitely have it checked out. I have a little extra cash coming next week. I’m just worried it will be a “complicated extraction” because the side walls are broken in two spots. I haven’t been to a dentist in over 10 years just due to constant money issues, and I’m afraid of all the other shit they’ll find. No matter how well I take care of my teeth, they just get worse and worse.
Jesus Christ mate are yous okay over there
start saving to get that fixed. if it gets bad enough it will lead to a serious infection of the jawbone itself. Without treatment it is lethal. Although it does take a long time to kill you the longer you leave it the more complications you will have.
I study computer science so I can build my own games.. only so bad that they can't really be called games
This is the reason why i got into Comp Sci.
Decades later I still can't make my own games because I suck at making music, drawing, and coming up with storylines.
I can make story lines pretty good but I suck at all the other areas
I can do music, but I suck at all the other areas. All we need now is an artist.
I can draw, still learning music and suck at everything else. Is the team complete now?
edit: for those who are really interested, head to r/StrangersOnADevTeam
I study computer science so I can build my own games.. only so bad that they can't really be called games
Hold on for a second, are you saying my console text adventure game using only if statements is not a game ?
EDIT: I was being sarcastic guys. On a technicality though, it's a game, you all are right.
"I study chemistry so I can make meth"
We actually learned the organic chemistry behind Walter White's methylamine cook in Orgo 3. The professor made us promise not to cook meth but also joked about backup plans for paying off our loans..
There was a problem in my ochem textbook that had multiple steps (e.g. a-e), and after you finished all the steps, it said something like "congratulations, you just made methamphetamine!".
My first thought was, it's that easy??
Why wouldn't it be? It's literally the drug that high school drop outs in the middle of nowhere make in their garage with coke bottles. If it was remotely hard to make, it would more have the popularity of LSD.
You also hear about those same people dying while trying to make it, so I assumed it was a little above their skill level.
But that is a good point, I just never really thought about it until that moment.
Those people blowing up are probably high as fuck and haven’t slept in weeks.
my wife's cousin just recently blew up his whole fucking trailer because he was high and trying to make meth. it sent him and his girlfriend to the regional trauma center with 3rd degree burns. he's missing an eye and it blew off his mouth. fucking meth
My ochem prof did the same. There were a few things he taught us how to synthesize that he never actually told us what it was. The only one I can remember was TNT.
Take toluene, chuck it into concentrated nitric acid for a few weeks whilst stirring and heating under reflux.
I'm honestly slightly concerned about the phrase "chuck it" when used in conjunction with TNT.
I mean, it's not like we're talking nitroglycerin here, but still.
My Physical Chemistry TAs where busy trying to make new efficient ways to extract THC.
Alternatively, "I study chemistry so I can blow shit up"
Knew a chem major in college. He was synthesizing LSD in his closet.
I used to work/live at this seedy pool hall.
One dude was a chem major. Hilariously, his pockets were always full of esoteric psychedelics. Dude was never sober, always happy, apparently he did really well too.
You never know.
I totally believe this. Guy at my university used to make and sell it. Also legally changed his name to a series of ridiculous words that I won’t repeat because you could easily find him on Google. He is a biochemist now and regularly stands in elections for a science focused party.
I study Philosophy to put myself into dissociative states even faster than usual
It's a superpower that we philosophy apprentices possess that many would consider...unnatural...
Chef. Started cooking because I'm a fat kid hidden in a skinny body and I realized if I stuck with it I could literally make myself anything I can dream up. Side effects of growing up poor I suppose.
Not my major but for my elective, I took 2 semesters of Spanish. Main reason is that my friend used to have a collection of anime, but all the subs are in Spanish. He knows Japanese, so it’s not a problem for him, but I don’t know why he downloaded Spanish subs. It was such an irrational whim, turns out I didn’t really like anime that much, but at least puedo hablar Español ahora
"I study psychology so I can figure out what the fuck is wrong with me."
that didn't work for me at all. In fact in year 3 of my major I had a full on mental breakdown
maybe that's the point of the post I know nothing about studying animation
*wow I want to say that Reddit has been amazing today. Not one person has been mean to me yet despite this comment getting so much traction. Thanks everyone for being beautiful, I love you all
I really hope you're doing better after that episode. Life can be like that sometimes, but in most cases, not all the time.
I have a cousin who studied psychology, and instead, she tried to figure out everything that was wrong with her family.
She ended up ostracizing herself from everyone because she kept putting the blame of what was wrong with her on her family and not owning it herself and trying to change it.
It's a fine line to walk when you're discovering what's wrong with yourself. Owning up to your own shortcomings is healthy as long as you can forgive yourself for them.
I study mathematics so I can...
Damn! Should have thought this through.
The person who took engineering to build thier robo brothel.
Computer engineering because I’m basically socially mute so I might as well just try to Pygmalion this shit
I study biology so I can grow my own friends.
Agriculture/biology/any plant sciences so you can grow your own green bud!
I study accounting because my sisters keep trying to steal my dead parents estate from me and I need to outsmart them.
I studied Computer Science so I can fix my relatives computers*
I study history so I can be broke and star in porn
You should produce historical pornos. Like some Roman history inspired porn.
Not a major, but:
“I learn singing/piano so I can put effort into my Minecraft parodies”
When I was pretty young, around middle school to early high school, I wanted to study biomedical engineering because I wanted to develop a way to live longer. Not long after I stopped fearing death and the major lost its appeal. I still like to read about recent discoveries and theories but my interest is significantly reduced.
I also studied biomedical engineering in order to develop a way to live longer. For me, the major lost it's appeal when I lost the desire to live.
"I study Political Science so only I know surefire ways to fix the government."
I study engineering to find out how close I am to killing myself.
Side story - I remember in one of our CG modelling classes a guy had started modelling a female fantasy character. Alright, no problems, fairly standard.
Oh, you started with the labia?
Okay, that's an interesting choice for a clothed character. My, you have gotten quite detailed, haven't you?
Jesus fucking Christ...
"I study philosophy to find a purpose in life."
I study accounting so I can money launder