So one of my coworkers is super nice but she's so insistent on making my breakup and moving out into something it's not. Like, I'm not joining a new gym because I hate going with my ex (we were friends before and we didn't break up in some hateful angry feud or anything), I'm joining because it's easier than driving to a shitty gym! I haven't been moping around not doing anything, I'm still working out and we're still encouraging each other in our goals.
Even when I first told her she was like, "you don't want a cordial breakup, you want him to realize he messed up, blah blah blah"
But why not?? Why can't we just realize we work better as friends than in a relationship? It's so irritating having someone push this negative narrative onto something personal.
And she's insisting on me having a TV even though I told her I don't want or need one, lol. She says it's so I can have it on when I'm not home. I really don't want one! So now I have to figure out a way to get rid of this ugly TV without hurting her feelings.
I think she's just projecting her own relationship experiences onto me. Everyone in my office always talks about fighting with their husbands/boyfriends and I always had to be the odd one out. They literally asked me what we did when we fought and I was like, um, cool down and then talk it out?? Not be petty and spiteful like you all are, apparently?? I have one coworker who always tells me her husband always pouts and talks about separating and he cheated on her or whatever. Why do all these people tell me about their dysfunctional relationships??
Ahhhh, I just needed to vent about this because it's stressing me out.
I applied for a better position in my department and I'm hoping I can get into it so I can leave the office I'm in asap. I just want to live my simple life. :(
I'm sorry, I know you're just venting but I'm really confused. Why do your coworkers feel it's okay to have such terrible boundaries?
I honestly have no idea. I don't know if it's just the combination of their personalities in a small office but I'm like the only one in my unit that doesn't overshare or constantly vent my personal problems. I've had one coworker who told me all about her doctor appointments and how the dermatologist checked every part of her skin. I don't know if it's because we're local government and most of them are close to retirement age that they feel they can just say whatever, but I'm also just...???
I seriously want to get out of there and work somewhere with an age group closer to mine because they drive me crazy sometimes.
I was moreso thinking about your coworker pushing her TV and expectations onto you. I tend to TMI at work a ton, but I'm also very happy to let even my closest work friends deal with their relationships and electronics how they wish. I found it way more worrisome that they need to be in your life. I think it's fine, if annoying, that they choose to bring you into theirs.
Ah. I think it's because I'm the youngest one in the office. I don't have kids or anything so they all kind of push their advice onto me without really asking me what I want to do.
My coworker is usually nice and since we're next to each other I tend to help her out a lot with work. I think our work friendship has started to go a little overboard. I've really tried to redirect things and insist that things aren't how she thinks but I think the age gap is letting her dismiss what I'm saying. :/
I literally said no every time she brought up the TV or said it wasn't like that when she starts badmouthing my ex, but it's like she has her own narrative in her head that I'm just not seeing. It's getting irritating even though she's one of the few coworkers I like.
I'm sorry! That's so frustrating. But I would say that she's forcing the TV without actually thinking of your feelings, so I think it's okay to get rid of it and not worry about upsetting her.
I was thinking she'll probably never come in again after she brings it over, so hopefully I can just quietly get rid of it after a bit.
Wow, her line about wanting him to realize he messed up is very immature. Why does every relationship have to be a drama fest these days?! I’m sorry you’re dealing with that at work, it’s like the last thing someone needs at work is to be stressed by coworker oversharing :(
I guess since she has a pretty volatile relationship with her boyfriend, she expects me to have had one like that too?
I try to keep to myself when it comes to personal things but I don't think I have one person in my unit (except my supervisor) who hasn't trapped me in a long rant about their personal life. How do people just not get the hint?? Lol I will be walking away and they just keep going omg.
Why can people not understand not wanting a tv???