I have you all beat. I’ve never spoke of this until now. Only me and the people at the gym know (I don’t want to think they told people so I’m staying in denial)
Back in 2007, after I had my second son, I decided to start working out. A coworker told me about Ally, a weight loss pill. It doesn’t let your body absorb fat, sounded good to me....at the time.
One November morning, before work, I decided to have a fatty breakfast before going to the gym. I was gonna work it off anyways, right? I also didn’t have any carbs so I thought I was safe.
I get on the treadmill and decide to warm up with a slow jog. My stomach started hurting a bit but I figured it was just the big breakfast. I pushed through it and upped the speed.
My stomach had this pain that felt like it went from my large intestine to my anus in less than 2 seconds. I couldn’t stop it. Explosive, fatty diarrhea shot through my mess shorts and got on the equipment, floor and guy doing sit ups behind me. I shit on someone at the gym while on the treadmill.
I never knew that watery poo could come out of me that fast and with that much pressure. Was it the gas behind it? The Ally? A mixture of both? Who knows? All I know, after reading the Ally message boards, is that a side effect is anal leakage. I didn’t have leakage! I had a MF’ing geyser!
I made the mistake of not wearing underwear because it was laundry day and I only had one clean pair. I jumped off the treadmill, trying to ignore the gasps of the others there. I glanced at the BM covered sit up guy (who had his mouth opened) and he sat there, in shock, glaring at me. Someone threw him a towel as I scuffled passed him.
I ran to the showers and threw my shorts away. I had brought my shower stuff since I had to go to work afterwards. A gym employee came in and asked if I was okay or needed her to call 911. I said I was fine and didn’t need medical attention. She said they were cleaning it up and not to worry about it.
I put my sunglasses on after I cleaned myself up and ran out of there. I never went back. I hope that sit up guy eventually forgave me. I haven’t pooped on anyone in almost 12 years.
At least you didn’t shit on anyone. Keep that in mind when you go back.