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My current rescue Jemma (we've had her for 3 months!) is also scared of men. When we first picked her out at the shelter she had only been there a short time. The husband was the only one able to convince her to come out of her kennel and into the visiting pen. We adopted her that day but had to wait a week so the shelter could do the proper health check procedures. My husband went to visit her almost everyday to help her get use to him. It did wonderfully and now she doesn't leave us alone.
Thanks for taking your time and loving this adorable pupper.
-Edit- WOW! Thank you everyone for the kind words! I did not expect such a response. We love Jemma to death and are working on helping her learn that people aren't so bad after all. It was just as equally amazing to read all the other rescue stories. You guys are amazing <3
People who take rescues seriously, and work to help them recover like this, warms my heart. Thank you.
Incredible people, truly, same with those that take in elderly animals.
I took in an elderly (20+ year old) cat over the summer as a hospice foster. We only had her for a month, but she was the absolute sweetest girl ever and I hope she knows how much she was loved. I highly recommend adopting/fostering seniors. They still have so much love to give, and every animal deserves to have a caring person with them when they pass away.
Edit: Silver x2?! Thank you! More importantly, thank you to everyone for sharing their own stories about rescuing their own seniors. Remember, to the world you may be “just someone,” but to someone you are the world.😸
The senior cats really are the sweetest cats ever!
I took in an older cat (vet said he was 18) from the shelter. I had him for a year before he passed, but he was the silliest and best floof boy. He would just light up when he got love and was pet. It broke my heart when he died. I don't know if I could go through it again, but I'm so glad that he knew that he was loved.
Edit: Here are some pictures of him. ❤️
you have inspired me, but I would worry as I already have an elderly cat. He is very used to only dogs, there is no way I would force him to tolerate further intrusion upon his kingdom. But I am so glad someone does this, takes in the older creatures I see at the shelter (when I visit.) I wish this were done a lot more often.
Would you consider an elderly dog? For the most part they’re very easy and docile. All they really want is to be in your presence.
That is really compassionate of you. He deserves peace and all your attention. Sometimes people don’t realize how hard it on elderly pets to have another animal brought into the house. Best wishes to you both.
I know err assume you aren’t doing it for the appreciation but I love this.
Thank you for your kindness to older cats. I have one (previously two; my eldest sadly passed away last July) middle-aged cats, and both were adopted when they were about five, respectively. My other, now technically a senior, is a bit over nine years old, and I love them so much I can't even put it into words. Middle-aged animals have so much love to give!
I have the utmost respect for you and people who do your work, but I'm afraid I couldn't take the loss.
I used to feel the exact same way. I was afraid of the loss. Don’t get me wrong, the loss will crush you, but now that I’ve done it a few times, I feel like the whole experience makes life meaningful. The crippling loss is the contrast that makes the painting of your life all the more beautiful to look at. I feel like the emotional scars that my endeavors have left are as beautiful as the curls of my hair or the color of my eyes. However, when it comes to making a difference in the life of an animal, it doesn’t take a huge commitment. Start small :)
This is making me cry! When I worked in a vets office, I loved every animal that came in as my own. This made me remember the puppy smiles and kitty nose boops of every pet that passed while I was there. You have a beautiful way with words.
You’re so sweet! I appreciate that. My sister used to work in a Vet’s office too. She would come home and cry her eyes out all the time, because she loved each and every one of them like you do. I can only imagine the depth of woe that you must’ve experienced having touched the lives of so many. You and all of your hard work are truly valuable. That being said, I hope you have a job that isn’t so emotionally exhausting now!
I’m a mom now, so my new ‘job’ is just plain exhausting as opposed to being emotionally exhausting hahaha. But thank you! That’s so sweet of you. I hope your sister has found something less emotionally draining but still just as rewarding.
Lol! That job is easily the most exhausting, but I’m glad you’re well and happy. My sister graduated in December and is doing her dream job, and is looking forward to having the same job as you in the next few years. Thanks for the well wishes 💕 I wish you and your family all of the best things that life has to offer.
Thank you :)
Yea, that takes some real strength. It'd destroy me, too.
We've got a date set up to meet a 12 year old beagle named Otis this weekend, and I could NOT be more excited to bring him home ☺️ I've never had a dog before, and I have a feeling Otis and I will be really good for each other
Older dogs are AMAZING as first time dogs! I had a dog growing up but when I got "my" first dog as an adult, she was 11 years old, a pitbull senior named Cleo. She changed my life, she saved me. She also meant a LOT to the people around me and she brought my family closer together. She was only with us a year, but it felt like a lot longer, because she just fit in with us so well, and we all loved each other fiercely. I made every day with her count, and I miss her so much. I have a younger dog now, but Cleo made senior dogs always have a big chunk of my heart. Best of luck to you and Otis! I hope it works out for you!
My almost ten year old husky is named Cleo and this made me smile. ❤️
We recently adopted our first dog, Sadie, who is 8. She’s amazing and we adore her and are so happy that we added her to our cat family!
I so strongly hope it works out for you and Otis!!!
Thank you!! I'm really nervous, I just want to be the best for Otis that I can be
I had a beagle as a kid. All I can say is that they’re loyal af, they’re loud af when they get going, and they don’t play when it comes to food. They take Food super seriously, and can never have enough. But they are total sweethearts. I hope You and Otis get plenty of good time together! And don’t be nervous; you are providing him safety and love. That’s probably more than he’s used to, and he will reward you for it with lots of love.
Thank you for choosing to love those you know you won't be able to spend much time with! It is courageous in a sense to take on the cases many others would find to heart breaking. Please keep up the good work
You are such a sweetheart for opening up to an elderly pet. Thank you. 💚
We adopted a fifteen year old cat. She is also the sweetest. I will always be open to elderly pets. I want them to feel safe and loved as they return home.
You’re so awesome for adopting an old baby. I’m sitting with my 17 year old dog that I’ve had since I was a young child as we speak. It absolutely kills me to think that someone could’ve loved her for as long as I have and then leave her at a shelter. But it brings me comfort to think that maybe the old babies might wind up with a caring soul like you.
I would do it but it would make me insanely sad for it to die so soon after adopting.
Someones husband I know got a dog, she hated it and treats it like crap. They split up, he took the dog and 3 days ago we got the news it was going to be euthanized because he can't be bothered to train it. It's "untrainable" apparently. Says the drunk who can't get his life together (husband), the real expert on dog training. Everyone hates them, she did absolutely nothing to convince him to give the dog to someone we knew. We had 3 willing people. Still paid to rather just kill it. Monsters.
I feel like monsters is the right word. This sickens me.
Gotta go get that dog if it's not too late buddy, you'll always regret it if you don't. Just go and take it preferably at night, you can sort out the legalities after that fact. I'm not saying this is good advice, I'm just saying that you will always regret it if you don't do it.
Or just show up at his door with a sixpack, an extra pint of whiskey for him, and food around five oclock. It’s not like most alcoholics would turn down free food, booze, and a little company.
Then when he’s finished dinner & drunk, fast talk your way out the door with the dog. 100% legal to take the dog if he “agreed” to give you the dog.
I wish, we called and said we would pay double what the fee was so it wasn't a waste of the pounds time. Still nothing, they wouldn't budge. A few coworkers and I were trying really hard... Makes me really upset we couldn't do anything. I'm not trying to bum anyone out but it breaks my heart to know how alone he felt, it wasn't his choice to be dragged into their shitty life. Fuck people.
Try and find the vet that’s going to do the euthanasia, maybe you can pay them not to do it.
It is possible that if the vet knows you want to adopt the dog he/she will require that shithead Sign a document relinquishing ownership. At that point it is the vet’s choice what to do with the dog. I’ve seen it happen more than once.
Honestly, it sounds like they don't want anyone to find evidence of what they've done to this dog. There's no other reason why they shouldn't just let you have it. I don't expect they're going to a vet's office to euthanize either.
I got my dog by dog that way. The owner knew it was us but we have dirt on him so he doesn't dare call the cops. It took 6 months to teach the dog that she doesn't have to be scared of everything but she's confident now and it makes me so happy.
We have two rescues and I think the thing that might convince more people to go down the path is to understand the ways you can help. For example, the dog in the picture clearly has behavior related issues that take time and attention to heal, but not much else. Our younger dog, on the other hand, was very overweight and has a chicken allergy and a thyroid condition. The help he needed was consistency and financial. He needs a med with every meal and consistent meals since he over eats. My fiance and I both work, so a dog that needs all day attention to recover or is a very active breed is out of the question. But we can handle the financial part and can give him the consistency he needs.
So the lesson I think is just recognize what you can and can't handle. Then, the prospect of rescuing isn't so daunting.
I took in a stray one time and when we took it in to heal its sickness it turned up that it had FIV. We couldn't afford health care for ourselves let alone a cat, so we were crying about having to put it down when the vet made some calls and found a home with a lady who adopted FIV positive cats.
It warms my heart to be loved by a rescue dog. I can't save them all, but this one loves me and has a warm home with food and cuddles. Whenever I read a sad dog story and remember that was him, I give him more cuddles.
There's no words to describe how emotional it is to take a dog from a horrible situation, where he doesn't trust ANYONE (it took awhile) and end up being loved so much by him. Like. He didn't know what love was for three years and now he can't get enough. It's not for everyone, honestly, because he's got behaviors that are HARD to love. But I love him and I love that he loves me too.
Aw so cute. I was a live in nanny for a while and at one place the owner decided to get a cat. There was an all black cat named Cowboy Dan that was up for adoption at the local Petco/shelter adoption event and he wouldn't come out of his kennel. Anyone that went up to it was hissed at and they refused to take him out to be pet (understandably) but I guess they swore he was approved for adoption, and also approved to be around dogs and kids by the original owners. She brought him home and after he trapped himself inside the arm chair for a few hours, he escaped into my room and he spent the first two weeks under my bed. Every day while *kid* was at school I sat on the floor at the end of my bed browsing Reddit with cat food in a bowl a couple feet away (under the edge of my bed) I would leave the room and leave the food bowl there for him to eat but he it looked like he never did. At first I left just dry food, then wet food, then both. Eventually I just put tuna and kitty treats in the bowl (he had a kitty water fountain he drank from at the other end of the bed) One day, after a couple weeks, I was sitting on the floor cross legged with a bowl of tuna and treats a couple feet away from me, and he came out. I was watching him from the corner of my eye trying to pretend like I didn't notice him while simultaneously trying not to freak out, when he walked up to me and smelled my arm for a sec then flopped onto my lap and started purring louder than I even knew was possible. He ended up being such a little lover and always wanted to be next to me, I have a hundred stories of him. I've never shared that story and for some reason felt like typing it all out. If anyone read all this, thanks! Sorry for the novel. ☺️
That is simply adorable, and I giggled at the happy ending. Thank you for sharing his wonderful story. I didn’t have a bad day, but this made the ending so much better!
funny bc while I ws reading this I started smiling and it was such a great story. And I don't usually think that, but it was truly that great and well written. Thus at the end when you said you'd never shared it and sorry for the novel --- well then I had to tell you!
When we got my newest cat, we released him in to the house and he disappeared. It took a week to find him. He was hiding under my sister bed where he had found a bag of catnip (my sister uses it to stuff cat toys she makes) and chewed it open. He was so stoned he probably didn’t know he was a cat.
Thanks for sharing and the work put in.
I adopted abused scaredy cats that took months to get comfortable. It is so frustrating when all one sees is tons of these adorable lovable animals on reddit who immediately bond. I felt awful like I’m doing something wrong. They’re still kinda scaredy cats but now it is in a more goofy way. They have lovable moments and I think they trust me.
More people need to see the patience and work it takes so they don’t get discouraged and think they’re bad owners. And it is very rewarding waking up to an animal on your feet after months of standoffishness.
My dog used to growl if you got near her while she was eating. She didn’t believe it would be there later. Eventually, I sat next to her and pet her while she wagged her tail and ate. She’s even get distracted by it and go back to eat later.
My mother has 2 dogs. One was curled up on me the first day we brought her home. The other was deathly afraid of cars—we suspected she had been thrown out of one. I think she was abused in other ways because, when I try to grab her collar, she curls up and sprints away like I’m trying to kill her. There’s no telling animals’ pasts.
Keep up the loving! They’ll keep opening up as they confirm you’re legit.
My aunt has a dog that barks every time people fight even when playfighting and its clear she was brought up in a violent house but I suppose its good she's out of there now, plus she stops people fighting or shouting
I can so relate. Years ago, I adopted a feral kitten to be a companion to my older (and very social) cat who had separation anxiety. I was young and naive and I believed the rescue who told me he would quickly socialize given his young age. I was not new to rescue animals, but this was another level. The cats adored each other. The kitten thought I was okay. I fed him and he liked that 😆 , but no affection. Years go by and he gets older. We were allowed “drive-by” pats. He lived a long, leisurely life with us.
Fast forward. Over a few days, we notice his belly is distended. My gut told me something was wrong so I took him to the vet. They ran some tests - nothing conclusive, but all possible roads led to bad news and they recommended we put him down. I called my husband to meet us to say goodbye. As we waited in that little room, the cat explored and I sat cross-legged on the floor with him. At some point, he crawled into my lap and cuddled with me. Yes, I’m sure some of it was him not feeling well and seeking comfort. But I also believe he somewhat knew what was happening and wanted to say goodbye. Years later, I still can’t tell that story without crying.
Your effort will pay off. I promise you.
EDITED to add an enormous thank you for the gold! Very kind. I am humbled and grateful! I am sure Larry (we kept the name the shelter gave him) - my little orange feral kitty in heaven- would be proud. ☺️
Even if he just wanted comfort, he went to you for it because he felt safe enough with you to do so. You were his.
I moved in with my gf and she has a scaredy cat that was feral. It took a bit, but now he likes to curl into a ball in my lap on cold days, and sometimes he comes and makes sure I'm doing ok when I'm working <3 <3
It really can take a lot of work.
My adopted cat was very loving from the start...well, almost the start. He spent the first three days hiding under a bed, leaving only for food/water or litter.
But no matter what we did (tape, magnets), that cat got into the kitchen garbage every night. He also chew open the bottom of his kibble bag if we forgot to hide it. And he routinely scarfed all his food down at once, then puked it up because he ate too fast. It was infuriating.
It took six long months to get him to stop getting into the garbage. Six months. But eventually he learned that there will always be food for him. And, like you said, it was rewarding to see him grow more comfortable.
When I first met my cat, he would flee in terror if I made eye contact. It took weeks of ignoring him before he'd come near me. Eventually, he got comfortable with us chilling on opposite ends of the couch. Then I spent over a month getting him used to being touched, starting with a brief touch with one finger and working progressively up to a full pet. It's been a year and a half and he's just recently wanted to play "attack"/chasing games. He has no concept of how hard is "too much" with his teeth and claws, so we're working on that. He's still very wary of other people and he doesn't like it if you're carrying big things or wearing clompy boots.
But I'm so proud of him. He yells at me when it's supper time or he wants to go outside. In the morning, he climbs up on my chest and licks my face when he knows I'm not really asleep anymore but haven't opened my eyes. He lounges in the middle of the floor and forces me to step over him. We have to have at least 10 minutes of cuddle/kneading time every day. He's so different than he used to be, and it makes me so happy to know that he feels safe enough to be a butthead.
Those cats are the most in need because not everyone had the personality to bring them around.
I work at a dog boarding place that works with a local rescue group and we got an abused pitmix from Newark, NJ on my first day in the job. I was told she was scared of men, so be careful. She got set up in a large area with water, bed, ECT. And I went in to sit with her.
I sat on the ground holding some chicken for 10 minutes before she approached me, gave her treats and pats and eventually became best friends.
Unfortunately, that was two years ago and we still have her, she is very aggressive with people, dogs, anything that moves. She's been to countless trainers and behavior experts, but to no avail.
I would have adopted her if I didn't have 5 already. Once I'm financially stable, I will adopt her and give her the life she deserves
Oh man - thank you for being her friend through this. It's so hard not to be able to save them all, though if I win the lottery I'd do my best. I'm in NYC and have fostered pitties but I'm between jobs (careers, really) and I can't let myself take in another one right now.
What's your girl's name? Is she at the Newark city shelter? She deserves so much love.
I worked at a shelter and boarding/training facility for a number of years. We encountered this issue a lot. One of the training routines we did was pair men (or what ever the phobia was) with good and happy thoughts. So if we knew the dog loved cheese, we would put the dog in a room with a gate, and all the male staff would walk by and toss a piece of cheese in the room. No eye contact or anything just males=cheese. Next time we would ramp it up a bit, males talking and walking by and just tossing in cheese. Etc... until it was males acknowledging the now cheese expecting pupper and then giving them cheese.
That's the best kind of shelter
I had a rescue like that. She was terrified of men, but not me. I think some people give off good dog vibes. Or im very girly
Men are usually bulkier/more physically imposing and have deeper voices. These being dogs, I imagine there’s some kind of chemical difference that they can smell as well.
In the case of animals who have suffered ill treatment, in (anecdotally) probably 80% of the cases it came from a male, and about 80% of the staff at animal shelters are female, so men are at worst scary and and best unfamiliar and strange.
I used to volunteer at an animal rescue, and they’d have me sit outside the kennels and talk to the dogs to get them comfortable with a male, and hopefully with males in general thereby.
My dog is definitely scared of men, but there are exceptions. Maybe 10% of men he meets will be allowed to pet him. Probably 25% get barked/growled at and the rest he avoids or runs away. I think the main factor is how imposing or aggressive the person is, and men are more likely to confront him face-on to try and interact or pet him. There have been a couple women he’s disliked, but not many. So I think it’s partly the difference of gender presentation but also the tendency to be bolder or more “aggressive,” whether they intend to appear that way or not.
My last rescue (the cutest pitty ever) was afraid of women but absolutely no problem with guys.
Apparently she was abused by a teenage girl who would buy puppies and then six months later kick them out onto the street whereas I think they usually see men as big and scary due to the size.
She would be perfectly fine but then a moment later with a woman off the street or nearby you'd see this look in her eyes change and she'd hark up and try to bite.
She tried to eat my adopted mum the first time they met but 24 hours later she's literally covering her in kisses so it's definitely not a logical thought process.
Now she lives on a farm and herds cattle and has a little (adopted) puppy of her own with a family who adore her.
Good job on taking a rescue - they deserve as much love as they can get to make up for the suffering they've been through through no fault of their own.
Some more info about our sweet girl: she was found when she was 7-8 weeks old, with her mom and 6 siblings. She went to a foster home for a short bit then was adopted. 4 months later the lady decided “she’s allergic “. Went back to the foster home and then was at a meet & greet at a nationally known Smart Pet place. When we were standing there admiring the dogs with their handlers, she actually approached my husband. All the volunteers were amazed, she’s NEVER done that before, he is the first man she’s ever willingly gone to.
When I was single I had a little dog who was shy around men. He liked my dad and brother, but didn’t like others. I had visited with this guy and decided to take a long walk with my dog and stop by his house, he’d be on the front steps. My dog, who never walked away from me, walks away from me, climbed the steps, sat next to him and leaned against him. That did it for me. I knew he was a great guy and we were married 1 1/2 years later.
My wife brags/jokes about how I am a "dog whisperer". Any home we visit the dog(s) take a liking to me whether they love men or dislike them. She says its my very comforting presence I naturally have(which was also very attractive for her too lol). We don't have a dog of our own yet but I am glad that I can make dogs (and people) feel comfortable. :)
Dad is that you?
My dad will walk into anyone’s house and can walk out with their dog. It’s insane how much all dogs love him. For years he trained dogs on the side for a little fun money. He would frequently have dogs escape their yards to just come back and visit. He quit training because one dog got hit on the way to our house (she lived) but it bothered him too much.
is this a universal dad thing? my dad is known as the dog whisperer by pretty much my whole family. once, he told me about a time he befriended a “vicious” guard dog. he had gone to some guys house (not a friend) but the guy wasn’t home yet so he sat on the porch with their a 60-odd pound guard dog. he was a pit bull, so a lot of people would immediately shy away from him, but my dad just went up to it and started talking nice and petting it without a second thought, and the dog was loving it. getting in his lap, licking, rolling over, the whole deal. he didn’t even stop to consider that it was a guard dog because of how it reacted to him. finally, the guy pulls up, and he’s hysterical. his eyes go wide and he instructs my dad to not move. my dad just laughs, confused, while this guy explains that this is his guard dog and he could easily kill a man. apparently, the guy had never thought to be nice to the dog or even pet it, or he was so rude it it that he was even vicious towards the owner. my dad suspects he was a fighting dog and had been adopted by this guy as a guard dog and he never treated it as well as he should’ve. apparently he tried to go back a few weeks later out of concern and the guy had been evicted. I feel sorry for that dog.
Welp if a dog vouches for you, you're good people in my book.
This is the absolute truth. Not joking. It's like the avigadious number, gravity, Fibonacci number in nature everywhere. It's just true. Puppies know what's up as a law/constant. It's pretty amazing. I dont like or associate with any one that isn't liked by or doesnt like puppies. Allergies are an exception.
I'm that way, but with cats and horses.
Dogs seem to sense I'm not really a "dog person", but I'm still totally weak for just about any four-legged wet nose.
Tip of the cowboy hat to you, Notalentass. I'm not a very good rider, but when we get a group together they give me the problem horse, because I seem to chill them out, leaving the easy horse for the least experienced rider in the group.
I've also heard multiple stories of horses that don't like men.
No talent ass
Not a lent ass
My friend says that it's because I never wipe my mouth or wash my hands after meals. I'm not sure she's wrong.
Similar story, only with a cat.
I had a cat quite a few years back that was terrified of everyone but me. He would tolerate my ex's young son, but hated my ex and anyone else who came into our home. He stuck to my side like white on rice, but if someone came near him he'd run and hide until they were distracted enough that he could return to my side without being bothered by them. When I met my now husband, I told him before he came in my house that I had a cat who didn't like people and would likely run away from him the second he came in the house. Instead, he sat down on the couch and my cat appeared out of thin air and jumped right into his lap as if they'd been friends forever. I was in absolute shock. I looked at my now husband in amazement and he just shrugged, said he had a way with animals, and casually stroked my cats back who was just purring up a storm.
I knew then that I'd found a keeper.
First time I went over to my wife's house she warned me about how big of an asshole one of the cats was. She walked over to me and instantly begged from r attention. The only cat I've met that doesn't like me is my sister's and that cat is truly nasty.
Hey any chance your husband is single?
Hahaha! No, but he’ll appreciate that you asked!! 😉
Why do you think she was afraid of men? I was expecting a story where the only men around her abused her. The only time she could have been is in those 4 months it sounds like.
Dogs always know who good people are🥰
Dogs are the best judgment of people. My border collie lab mix Paisley LOVES everyone. My wife and I joke that she’d want to play with a burglar and just be excited to meet someone new. She didn’t like my sister in laws boyfriend. I told my wife the guy was a POS based off of it. Paisley was right.
players tip always carry a pocket full of treats for your admirers and a pocket full of sand for your haters.
My dog is also afraid of men but I got her when she was 3 months old. Any insight as to why it’s so common?
When my ex brought home Lucy she was just spooked about the whole thing. When I camehome from work she wouldn't come near me. Sat down by GFs feet and eventually laid down. I let her take her time sniffing me out without moving at her.
Now I'm her number one. We are gonna go for a quick walk here at 11pm and check out the fresh snow. It's her favorite.
I'm gonna cry :') I miss my dogs
This is so sweet! 💕
Marry that man! Oh wait you already did!
I did indeed! I added a back story in the comments, check it out
Marry him again
Husband is a good boy
A friend's rescue was scared of me (I'm a guy, but so is my friend and most of his friends) until I tried a trick I saw on nature channel.
Laying on your back is considered submissive by our four legged friends. So the next time I visited I did, just laid face up on the floor, worked like a charm. Pup came over, checked me out, decided I was no threat and we've been pals ever since.
I have a dog I rescued that had been dumped. He was scared of everyone and everything and just had no trust whatsoever. Every movement made him flinch back as if you were gearing up to strike him.
With a dog that has zero trust in anybody, the only thing I could do was let him come to me. I let him choose exactly how far he was comfortable, and never asked him to come back or expressed disapproval if he needed to retreat. Everything had to be taken in steps, from calling him to come, to asking him to enter a doorway, to eating with people in the room... Someone did a serious number on him. He's my precious boy, and he's come such a long way from then. I'm super proud of him.
Dogs are naturally such trusting creatures and it breaks my heart to find babies who have to fight so hard to trust again.
There’s no comfort in the world quite like your dog using your head as a pillow.
Can we get some more info? Excuse my ignorance!
sometimes abused dogs learn to fear the type of people who mistreated them. odds are men did the pup wrong and scared her. that’s my best guess
While possibly true that isn’t necessarily the case. Honestly, just a lack of exposure to men is enough to make a lot of dogs skittish. When I was in high school my family adopted a German Shepherd at 9 months that had only ever been exposed to her breeder, a woman named Joice. As a result she (the dog) was very hesitant to come around me (male) my brother, or my dad and she was very protective of my mom since the second we got her. She would literally bite at me if I sat on my mom’s bed because she saw me as a foreign threat. She never completely got over it and while she eventually accepted and loved the rest of my family she was always hostile and territorial to any of my friends who would come over.
Yep. My male cat doesn’t like men, but I honestly feel that’s him not liking large people and being used to me (a small woman).
My ex thought it was him protecting me, but he’s a big suck, so while that’s a nice thought.. he’s just not used to large people.
That’s another good point! I’m the shortest male in my family at 5’11” so the size thing was really intimidating to the new pup (my mom and the breeder being about 5’2” each)
I am 6'8" and there are a bunch of dogs in my past that just didn't and would never like me. :(
I just wanna give them scritches.
Oh that's so heartbreaking
I lived with my Aunt for a month and her beautiful loving labrador would sit in the very back of the room behind two recliners anytime I was in the same room. When he sniffed my hand and looked like maybe I could pet him he started shaking uncontrollably and then peed.
Think that may be a jealousy thing. My old cat (gone now sadly) did not like women except my mum, and even then, as soon as I got in the house she would get up and come see me and sit on my lap. I brought my girlfriend home (now wife) and the cat hated her. Would hiss and spit at her if she came over and sulk like mad when she sat next to me.
I have a cat that's afraid of men, definitely not height. I'm sort of tall, but a woman and he loves me. Some of my friends that are shorter scare him. What I find interesting is that he loved my trans (female -> male) friend, who is in the proces of transforming (don't know exactly how this works, but he's had some surgeries but is not done). So I'm not quite sure how my cat knows but he knows
German Shepherds are known to be very protective of their family, so that's another reason why your dog may have been hostile towards your friends.
Very true. We actually had an 8 year old long coat German Shepherd already when we got the 9 month old. It was crazy how different their temperaments were especially considering we got the first dog at 2 months and the second dog at 9 months. Our old girl didn’t know the concept of danger while the new pup was always looking out for us.
Funny enough I have a 5 month old Shepherd now and he’s just a goofball.
Dog's personalities are pretty interesting. My boyfriend's dog was rescued by his father (he found her). She was a youngster that was being used as a bait dog and if I recall the story correctly, she was obviously being starved. You'd think that she'd be incredibly messed up from the situation, but instead she's one of the most friendly and laid back dogs I've ever encountered. And then there's my father who rescued a rottweiler (he lived on a farm and took in some overflow from the shelters, and any animals that anyone else dropped off). I don't know what the rottweiler's previous situation was, but rottweilers are one of the breeds that can have aggression problems. But not this one. He was a big ol' teddy bear.
Yeah my Husky doesn't like men. No real reason that I know. We rescued her and her siblings(they were fostered by us and adopted by forever homes) when they were 6 weeks old from a First Nations Reserve. Their mom had been hit by a car and they were just left to starve/roam.
I got her with my ex. We split up but kept on great terms. I had to do traveling for work and she had to live with him and his family which is six men and one woman. She was never skittish and weird around them.
Just doesn't trust men. Shes nervous around them but always puts herself inbetween me and a man when we are in closed spaces like elevators and parking lots.
She's okay with some men if they're really really dog people.
She's also a Husky, so if you're scared of her.. the tables turn and she won't let up until you're super uncomfortable. She's a bit of an ass. Love her the most though.
very true! i didn’t even think of that
Oh damn, my friend’s got a chow who does the same thing. She loves women and is so gentle around children, but she absolutely hates blokes. My friend’s sister-in-law brought the dog, and every time anyone’s at the door, she snarls and barks.
She even hated my friend for quite some time. She’d snarl at him whenever he’d come home. She’s cool around him now since he got to spend time with her when his brother and SIL had gone on vacation and he had to take care of the dog.
She always hides in the bedroom or under the dining table when we visit their place. Wouldn’t even eat a treat out of my hand easily, have to wait it out. We’ve got no clue why she’s so stressed about blokes all the time. Hopefully she gets used to us and we get to play with her someday.
That may be true in some cases. My family had a dog that was previously abused and she was terrified of feet; we think someone probably kicked her and that is why she was so afraid. I’ve heard that a lot of dogs can be skittish around men because of their lower voices and larger size. On the contrary, it was love at first site when we adopted my pup and my husband carried her out of the shelter. She is a daddy’s girl for sure.
It's a common misconception and sadly people often accuse former owners of abuse because of it. Odds are that men are bigger and have deeper voices and smell different and that's scary to this dog. It's not likely that a scared dog was abused.
The reason it's important to know the truth is that a lot of people find dogs who got lost and when they notice the dog is scared of people they assume it was abused and never attempt to send it back to its loving home. Please never assume abuse.
Odds are that men are bigger and have deeper voices
I feel like this is the case a lot of times. If a dog is used to being spoken to in a higher or a baby voice a man's deep voice would be unsual/off-putting
We adopted an older sick mama cat who was just so sweet. In fact, when we adopted her and called the rescue’s vet for our girl’s paperwork, the vet receptionist shouted to everyone that “Daphne got adopted!” And we heard cheering.
She was such a gentle soul. We didn’t know her history but she was very afraid of men, especially when they had hats on.
Every day my husband would approach her on her terms...calmly and slowly without a hat...letting her decide if she wanted to be pet.
A few months later, Daphne was so ridiculously in love with my husband that she would snuggle in between us and sometimes try to clean him.
When she was having some breathing issues, we took her to a specialist that suspected that she had had trauma to her throat. (We can only surmise that she was abused.)
My husband and Daphne had a ridiculously close bond. Daphne was with us for 5 beautiful years until she passed away from cancer.
She was the sweetest cat and we think of her often.
Edit: clarification that she was afraid of all men and was likely abused.
Such a wonderful, sweet photo! Congrats on your new family member!!
My rescue just died last week. She was an anxious, sometimes totally unaffectionate, adorable, unique, eccentric pup. We worked so hard to manage her physical (IBD) and emotional health, it's like a giant hole is in the house. Rescues give so much meaning to your life. ♥️♥️♥️
Hugs. So sorry for the loss of your sweet girl.
I went to a shelter once and saw a big beautiful bull dog named Diva.
She looked so scared in the corner of her kennel, just,staring at me whole I try and coax her over.
My boyfriend walk a into view and she gets up, even more terrified and scuttled to the back.
When she got up, her whole right side was torn up, like she had been sliced and beaten.
Well I'll be damned if this isn't the sweetest thing ever.
Your husband's a true gentleman.
I have a similar story about my wife's cat. She's very, very skittish around most men. It took her quite awhile to really do anything more than tolerate me. Conveniently for me, I was struck down with rheumatoid arthritis and moving isn't something I do very much. I've never been fidgety, so staying still for long periods of time combined with warm joints turned into our bonding time. I've never had a cat before, and will now never live without one. Congrats to your husband, and to you on the new rescue!
ELI5? How does a blanket help her approach him?
I had a friend who trained a rescue this way. She would lay on the blanket and coax the dog towards her, eventually associating contact with her and the blanket only. Dog starts to lay on blanket as single, it’s okay to touch me. This was when i was young, so probably lots of other training aspects involved that I dont remember.
We have 2 other rescues that each have a blanket. He laid the blanket down and laid his head on it. You could tell she was curious, but cautious. He didn’t reach out to her, didn’t call her specifically, just would say her name and “good girl” repeatedly. He let her approach on her terms, in her own time.
One theory about fear of men is their lower voices, their size, the way they stand, and how they approach dogs (often looming over them and trying to pet the top of the head). I encourage my male friends to bend down, use a higher, happy, calm voice, and present an open palm below the dog's head, while encouraging the dog to come to them. Sounds like you and your guy are doing everything right!
100% get to their level, and put your hand out, back first. I actually had to take lessons like this when I worked at Petsmart a million years ago.
I still don’t really get this. How is the blanket more effective than him lying on the floor?
It was just a comfy place. He wanted something “inviting”, not just the carpet. She has a room full of that to pick to lay down. This way if she laid by him she’d have a comfy bed.
Ahh I get it, so if she wants to lie on the comfy blanket she has to get closer to your husband. Sneaky.
Blanket is her space is my guess
Just cause of comfort. Even on the couch, my boys will curl up on the blanket rather than the cushion.
That is precious.
I just love this! ❤️ Our rescue Scooby (that we brought home one year ago today!) was so apprehensive, even a blanket on the floor freaked him out. He would walk around in circles on it, lay down, get up and then walk away and opt for the cold floor. I just happened to have a few items on the bedroom floor that I had sorted to wash later that day. About an hour after we brought him home, we found him napping on that pile of clothes. We let him sleep with them for about two weeks and then he was fine.
Vv good girle AND vv good boye.
As a dog whisperer with many four-footed friends, keeping dogs away from humans they're afraid of, only reinforces the bias.
I’m just genuinely curious how do dogs know how to distinguish men and women?
If a more butch woman approached the dog would it have the same reaction? What about a very feminine male?
She’s so precious.
I’m an owner of a rescue. Her previous owner was a drug dealer and would have all types of people in and out of the house. They’d feed her whatever junk food they’d have lying around and I suspect they abused her as well because of her behavior around certain people and situations.
We’re still working on her fear, especially whenever we leave the house. I try my best to comfort her as best I can when she feels this way.
Thank you for rescuing an animal.. who knows where she could’ve ended up without you.
My dog was the same. When my mother adopted her she would just stare at me and my father and bark and growl. I was the only one who walked and fed her though. And eventually after a week she out of the blue crawled in my lap and fell asleep. We been inseparable since
My recent rescue was afraid of men as well as new people. The best moment was when my SO came home from work one day and he did his scratch my butt dance for him. We both teared up because he was only comfortable with me. About a week ago he greeted a stranger the same way! He is now my happy goofy lab the way he should be.
Congrats on the very HUGE step woth your pup it only gets better with time! Trust me I am three months in with my rescue and he still does new things that ensure he is happy in his new home.
My old dog, Story, was similar. She was horribly abused and used for dog fighting, and her owner was Male. My stepdad saw her at the rescue and went to her the moment he saw her. They spent a few hours together while my mom got all the paperwork handled. She imprinted herself onto him that day and every waking moment there was, she was next to his side.
TIL Your husband isn't a man but a Hero.
We just adopted/rescued a 14 year old Chihuahua terrified of men. She would fiercely bark and growl and give me a wide berth in the house for a good couple of weeks and was wary of me for about a month and a half. Sudden movements or me kissing and touching her mom (my fiance,) would set her off on a barking/growling spree for a few minutes. Slowly we've worked with her. I fed and walked her, I would touch her gently and talk to her, etc. She was scolded a few times when she lunged when I got close.
It's been about 3 months for us and she has had a HUGE improvement. She now comes to me for her daily loving and belly rubs and it's so funny that she sits beside mom but comes to me for acceptance and shows some of her submission, like rolling over for the belly rubs. It's so satisfying to see her transition.
Give them time. Dogs respond so much to our behavior and the reward is HUGE when they do. You can tell already that's going to be such a good girl, give her all the love!
Hey I have that same shirt! Carmel?
Maybe she thinks she killed him and is actually just resting her head as a victory.
All it takes is a little patience.
And cookies...cookies help too.
I relate to this pupper. Ptsd is no joke. But the sweet ones always come through in the end. Like my husbando💗
I thought I’d be jealous if my pup got more attached to my hubby than me, but once I saw the connection they had it made me beyond happy. Can’t be jealous when you see the two things you love the most happy together.
You have a good man and a sweet pup! All the best to you guys :)
<3 this is so sweet. I think she has accepted him!
Time and patience - so wonderful you gave this awesome pupper both!
You and your husband are good people. :)
Your husband is hero, a stud, and a magnificent human being!
Warms my heart. We have a rescue dog who was abused and is weird with men. She is very bonded to me (a woman...don’t let the username fool you), but is still distrustful of my husband. We laugh because he’s a bigger sucker than I am! A year later, she’s coming around. He feeds her, talks her on walks (begrudgingly for her), and cuddles with her nightly. The other night, they feel asleep all curled up together.
Hard work, but soooo worth it.
I hope whoever made her scared dies miserable and alone.
Great...I got sand in my eyes now
Dammit, who cut the onions here?
That is such a smart way of working with an unsure rescue dog!!! ❤️❤️❤️Major kudos to your husband for being so understanding about the situation! Wow! So many people just try to force it then take it personally and hold it against the dog. I am so glad she laid next to him like that, no doubt she deeply appreciates the kindness and patience you have shown her! She is so lucky to have you guys as her family-this really makes me so so so happy to see pet parents doing it right!!! -worked in rescue for years and have a special needs rescue
Mission accomplished! Well done sir!
Good boy with a good girl, lol.
I've had my adopted baby for 9 years. He still only trusts me and my mom, and honestly I think he's absolutely right. Obviously my precious puppy doesn't know the details, but he knows my brother is a violent, unfaithful mf, and he goes to town every chance he gets.
Dogs sense emotions you don't even know you're giving off....
My rescue is scared of men in hats or hooded. I adopted her at 11 weeks old so i’m afraid she had a very impactful experience at such a young age that she will always be scared of men in a way..
So sweet. Thanks for rescuing her.
Saved my girl from junkies at 3 weeks of age (according to vet) and 11 years later, shes still my best friend
This made my night. We just put our dog down a few days ago. He was the best dog we could've asked for. He wasn't a rescue, but for a long time I've been telling my customers (I'm a cable guy) with rescues that I'm considering one next time. I'll always have a soft spot for shelties, but I want to help dogs in need.
Our rescue dog was also supposedly afraid of men. However when we took her out to the play pen she immediately rolled over and let me scratch her tummy. We were so confused but loved her all the same. Best danged dog we've had for a while.
Great things happen to great people!
Pets fulfill your Heart u never knew it was empty
Any man that takes that kind of care for a wounded soul is and angel...god for you my dude .
Oh god, my heart.
Your hubby is a truly good soul. Glad you all have one another!
She’s so pretty. This make me happy.
Can you blame a dog that just wanted love and either lived a hard life or was abused?
Also I have no fucking clue how people abuse a dog that would literally die protecting you.
This is the cutest thing I’ve seen for a long time. Your husband must be very happy that she trusts him that much that she can sleep there with him!
You're so sweet to treat her with the gentle respect she deserves! I wish you all a long, beautiful life together. My wife and I adopted a young lady pit/lab in January. She had indicators that she had been abused and possibly a bait dog (her canines are filed down, and she has several scars, plus a bb stuck under her neck skin). She had been fostered for a few weeks before we got her, but was still extremely nervous and wouldn't budge from her bed. She would lower her head in fear anytime I came close, so we assumed she was nervous of men. But after a week of gentle kindness, she began to show her sweet affectionate side. Now she will come to me first for playtime, and even sleeps on my side of the bed, little spoon! Treat your dogs the way you'd like to be treated, and you will be rewarded more richly than you deserve.
That's the most common thing I've seen. Also hysteria when a man makes a throwing movement like at a dog park...for obvious sad reasons