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My wife is my favourite ex-girlfriend.
Haha this is my fiance's favorite joke these days! He likes to tell people that I'm his ex girlfriend and it always gets a good laugh.
We get married in 3 months!
I'd yell "I'M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND" like Chowder at my fiancee after we got engaged
Sorry I'm a cave man with technology, and can't figure out from the link what show that's from on mobile, can I please ask you? It looks pretty funny.
I’m not your boyfriend baby...
Tell your boyfriend, if he says he's got beef 👏👏
That I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fucking scared of him
That was a huge nostalgia hit thank you for that this morning
Are you the widow Kulap?
If Scott dies I’ll be sad but also really pumped for Jason to take over CBB and start pumping out kids with the widow howl app
When my wife was eight months pregnant her hands were too swollen for her wedding ring. When ever we went to a restaurant we would say it's our first date to see their reaction.
starting early with them dad jokes i see
He must prepare. The transition has begun.
I think her drunk husband was just messing with her.
Best of luck to you two. My wife and I I've been married for around 8 months. It has its ups and downs, but it's good to know you have a partner for the long haul.
When my now-husband and I had been dating for a few months, we were at a wedding with his coworkers and he said something about his “last ex.” The way he said it sounded like I was his next ex. So I half-jokingly said, “oh, your last ex? So I’m your next ex?” All of his coworkers (who I’d just met) made funny “uh oh” sounds. He said, “no, my last ex EVER.” We were all impressed with his save.
Reminds me of that video of the guy coming out of anesthesia hitting on his wife:
This is amazing. Thanks you for this!!
How is this possible though? Sure there is some level of disorientation from waking up from anything but is it normal to experience this sort of straight up amnesia coming out of anesthesia?
Anesthesia doesn’t wear off immediately, and when you first wake up you’re pretty far out of it for a while in terms of being able to process what’s going on. It’s kind of like being drunk in terms of how you taper off. When I came off of anesthesia after oral surgery, I didn’t recognize the best friend I had taking me back home and thought he was kidnapping me at first (mind you, I didn’t make a scene or anything hysterical bc physically I just couldn’t, it was more like “who the fuck are you and why are you putting me in your truck?”) I also barely knew where anything in my apartment was 10 minutes later once I got home. It’s kind of a fun feeling, but you just don’t really process anything because your brain still thinks you’re asleep.
I think it also depends on the person. I live in the states and anesthesia does not effect me like this at all. After waking up from surgery i was just kind of like “ok... can I go home now?” while some of my friends get really loopy.
I remember coming out of my wisdom teeth removal and telling the doctor "whoa, that was fuckin' fast!".
I’ve been under about 25 times and there’s lots of things that are factors in how loopy I was, including how much pain I was in, how low my blood sugar was, and duration of surgery.
Definitely depends on the person. I woke up from surgery, not knowing I had surgery, couldn’t remember my name, and asked why I was in the hospital lmao
Reactions vary wildly between people, that's why anesthesiologists make the big bucks. I live in the US and was put under to get my wisdom teeth out. Once I was awake I was only a little wobbly.
The way it was explained to me is the type of procedure , length of time, and whatever pain meds that are on board also plays a factor. I've had colonoscopy and endoscopy, was out maybe a few minutes, woke up and went home.
I've had my appendix , I was pretty sleepy and out of it. Brain surgery, fuck that shit, I was in and out for about a damn day.
The guy in the YouTube video is a redhead. Redheads apparently react differently to anesthesia. Maybe the part of the anesthesia that keeps him asleep, wore off before the one that makes him forget
These stories are so interesting. Thanks for sharing.
You know someone somewhere had the opposite reaction: "you are my wife? Eww!"
It's not hard to imagine that someone stuck in a marriage that has long been dead and just coasting for the kids or family/community reasons, would react that way.
Oh we weren’t married, just a couple of college kids dating. But he was much older than me, pretty good looking and on track to be pretty successful and I probably gushed too much about him and annoyed some people.
But I think when you love someone you shouldn’t be ashamed of showing them off and letting people, and your SO know how much you love them
Depends on how much of anesthesia you’re given is my guess. When I came out of that shit I was bleeding from my mouth like it was a waterfall and didn’t feel thing until I looked down and I didn’t know who anyone was for a little bit.
Wisdom teeth extraction? I got put under and didn’t feel the gauzes in my mouth until someone told me they were there.
Anesthesia is a helluva drug.
But more seriously, one of the purposes of anesthesia is to stop you from making short term memories. I'm no medical professional, but short term amnesia was one of the things I was warned about when I was going in to get my wisdom teeth out and we were discussing if I wanted anesthetics. Anesthesia affects people in a lot of different ways, some people are really aggressive after they come out of it, some are silly like this guy. And some, like me, are completely indignant and rude (sorry to the lovely nurse and my husband for being an asshole). Part of the reason I was that way (I think) is because I wasn't doing a real good job of recognizing people.
Anesthesia nurses do this kind of thing for a living. They certainly will not hold the actions of a disoriented patient against them. I think you are good with that nurse :)
Post Anesthesia nurse here and I can confirm that we don’t hold the things people say when they’re waking up against them, we may laugh though.
I had an umbilical hernia repair under anesthesia. My friend picked me up and recorded me talking about being so hungry I could eat a unicorn. My girlfriend at the time then took care of me when I got home and has recordings of me talking about picking up our kids (we didn't have kids) and being really sad i forgot our daughter's birthday.
Drugs are a helluva drug.
The last time I was under GA, I apparently started waxing poetic to my mom when I first started coming to. To hear my uncle tell it, I was telling my mother that I felt oddly affectionate towards her, and I wasn't sure why... could she contact my parents to tell me who she was, because I couldn't remember my own name at that moment? Some non sequitur stream of consciousness followed, but that particular part stands out to me, because how the hell did I forget the face of my own mother?
Haha, well now she knows how he really feels awh
or she IS just smokin.
I wanna see too
I saw this vid in an article alongside her pic. She IS smokin
Well you can't just not link the article
100% confirmed smokin
Hahaha “I hit the jackpot”
The entire surgery was this guy's ploy to find out which anniversary they're coming up on and it failed.
I instantly thought of this video. classic.
cries in single lol
I thought of this exactly!
“Woah your teeth are perfect” omg 😂
"it's hard baby. It's hard"
This made me really happy xD
It’s almost as if the husband was inspired when he saw that post 2 days ago
😂 that nigguh said “turn around” haha that made me crack up
The wife i think was so touched that she can't help but tear up. Sniffles in the background.
Maybe she is not the hottest wife he has ever had?
He had a hotter wife from an arranged marriage, they skipped right past the girlfriend stage
He also conveniently didn't address another gender.
This guy is shady af.
It’s time to play
MEET YOUR SECOND WIFE!
I will never not watch this sketch lol. Leslie Jones kills it in this bit. So funny.
Wow, I can’t believe I’ve never seen that one before. That was brilliant, thank you for sharing!
For recent skits, I am partial to the close encounter
"Sorry Elaine we don't make the future, we just know it."
At least you now know that your husband loves you from bottom of his heart
From the bottom of the bottle, at the very least
Sounds like he loves her from the bottom of his shaft too
Well for her looks at least.
Or has a bunch of uglier side chicks
Coincidentally, the bottom of his heart is also his penis
A friend of mine had a horrible accident that put him in a coma. After two weeks he woke up with amnesia. He remembered his parents but not his wife. When she stepped out he asked his dad “who is that hot girl that just left?” When he found out it was his wife he didn’t believe them because he thought she was way out of his league.
This was years ago, he’s better and they are still together.
Edit: He wrote an article about it (not the personal experiences part) you can read it here: https://www.roadandtrack.com/car-culture/a6596/warner-head-injury-schumacher/
Did he get any memories back or did he have to start over from scratch?
He did! He had to remember how to do a lot of stuff over though. Wasn’t easy but he’s doing well now. I edited my post with a link to an article he wrote about it.
Typo of "who to do" with not remembering his wife lol. I'm glad he's doing well now!
Wife walks in on him cheating and he's just like "who are you? Who am I? Why am I naked? Ahh amnesia ahhh"
Usually they get thier memories back after some time.
His hometown burned down and he spent the rest of his life as an RPG protagonist
pretty sure i just saw this exact story on the front page
This was on the front page like 2 days ago and it was not by u/Lutya.
Looking at Lutya's post history, user seems like a compulsive liar.
Maybe you scrolled back further than I did? I didn't get that impression from the posts I looked at.
That story is old...I've heard it from so many sources I doubt this lutya guy has been behind them all.
At least the story is real
When my grandma left the room, my grandpa with Alzheimer’s turned to my dad and said “she is such a sweet lady. I really should have married her a long time ago.” He was delighted to learn that he actually had
sad and sweet
I feel like I heard this before years ago.
That meme was posted yesterday
I have a really loving relationship with my husband and I think a large part of it is that I treat him with as much magic as he treats me. Fellas need to feel handsome and special, too.
Where do I find someone to treat like magic?
I wish I could tell you the directions to some secret fountain that spurts out life partners, but honestly, I feel I just got lucky. I think a lot of people dont realize how much work and compromise goes into a marriage. Both of us were just happy to compromise with each other when we started dating and it's our glue.
That's awesome. Communication and willingness to compromise seem like some of the most important parts of a healthy relationship
We've been together 10 years and we are still working out the kinks, but it's not so bad because we are willing to fight through it. Couple of things I can say is we dont fight behind closed doors. I want my kid to see that sometimes adults disagree and, yes, things might get emotional. The second part of that is at a certain point in the argument we stop to hug each other. Even if we are murderous angry it's good for her (and us) to know the love is still there, and will be when the fight is over. It's hard to fight with someone and try to think about what part you can take blame for, but it's really important.
This is so nice, I learned something from an astronaut chicken today
So you know an astronaut chicken is something a character in the Stephen King novel Duma Key calls those grocery store rotisserie chickens in their plastic capsules. I thought that was great. It's still fun pretending I'm an actual chicken who went through the space program.
You guys have a healthy attitude to marriage, love and respect go hand-in-hand with work and compromise, and I think that’s the “secret formula”.
My husband is on a boat filled with dudes and he says something he has noticed about a lot of them is that they've been with their SOs so long they dont need to try anymore. I think that's a very toxic attitude toward marriage. Both people need to throw kindling on every once in a while. Its awfully cold when the fire goes out.
I mean love in essence is willing the benefit of the other over yourself. Finding ways to make your SO light up and smile should be what makes you happy and if you're married--it should be your mission in life. When two people actually do this, rather than focusing on what they want out of the relationship, you get magic.
You are absolutely right. It also helps if what you want out of the relationship is both of you to be happy. I want him to be happy, but for that to happen I need to he happy, too. Sometimes, that means I have to approach him with things that make me unhappy and to encourage him to do the same. It took a long time for both of us to not get defensive when the other comes with a problem. Hell, we are still working on that.
I could use some magic in my life.
It's a choice more than you realize. It's not something you happen upon that keeps itself going indefinitely.
10 years in and my wife still randomly sits sideways next to me on the couch as I'm watching tv, plays with my hair and just stares at me while smiling in this really loving way. Doesn't say a word, just admires me. Makes me feel like a million bucks. I love that woman so much.
Is there ever a point where it’s too much? I have to stop myself from telling my bf how sexy and handsome he is every 5 seconds. But I tell him probably 5+ times a day. I can’t help it!
Awww I do that, too. He always says, "What's up?" And I always say, "I'm just looking at you, damn! Not my fault you're so handsome!"
I do a lot extra for my husband, especially when he’s sick, I just like to be a caretaker! Last week, he tried to step his game up. He made the bed, put my heating pad on, and started the tub when I got home from work. He was doing so well until he said “wow you do look tired, the bags under your eyes are huge!” I couldn’t help but laugh because I knew he didn’t say it to be mean but I was like “oh, thanks, I guess”. It’s the effort that counts!
If I had a dollar for every time my husband said something that clueless he wouldnt have to work anymore.
Preach. It’s sad how rarely straight men get complimented. I’m gay and any time I compliment my straight friends, even small things like nice outfit, looking hot, etc they have a huge grin and ask for more validation. It would be funny if it isn’t so sad.
I agree with you. I compliment my husband on a daily basis, not just on his looks, but his accomplishments. He mostly just says, "thanks babe" because he doesnt know what to do with it. That makes me sad as hell that he was "trained" not to need compliments. But hell he is a great guy and someone needs to appreciate him.
If someone even calls me mildly attractive I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it for a month :(
Interesting take away from a single tweet about a guy drunkenly admiring his wife superficially.
It’s almost unreal these days.
No no no. People definitely don’t love each other like they did back in my day!!
I've been married for twenty four years and I still think my husband is the most amazing man I've ever met.
And he's still got great legs.
Or the husband thought it was his girlfriend and then covered it up really well....
Why you gotta twist something so wholesome into a side chick joke 😔
I can’t imagine forgetting I was married even plastered drunk.
Yeah it’s total bullshit
Today on things that never happen when you're drunk
That happened. I don't get all these stories where people completely forget shit because they're drunk.
OP or her husband just stole this from a story posted two days ago. It may have happened, but not genuinely.
Yeah ha ha my wife said the same with pronouns reversed and she really exists in the real world too
Being drunk is one of the weirdest things people can ever do
...Someones never tried drugs.
Oh boy does life have surprises in store for you!
Do I get drunk different than other people? Cause never in my life have I been so shit faced I forget people’s relationship to me, then am surprised to learn it....and I get drunk a lot.
That is because OP or her husband are just taking things they saw from the internet. This story was post a couple days ago, but the guy came out of surgery.
Drunk people dont do this. But people on extreme morphine will.
A married man, Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after a night out drinking with the boys. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror.
Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian" He stumbles into the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee, and the morning newspaper all waiting for him.
His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son… what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after three in the morning, drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you threw-up in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
Confused, he asked his son, " So, why is your mother in such a good mood, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh THAT! Well, when Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone, I'm married! I'm married!'"
He completely forgot about your marriage once he's drunk. Yeah real keeper that one.
Oh, so a repost of that guy who woke up from surgery and said "Who are you? You're the hottest girl I've ever seen" and she said "I'm your wife" and he was all "Really? Oh my god, that's awesome".
In other words, this and the other thing never happened.
I don't get invited to parties, why do you ask?
You're probably right. She's also basically just bragging about her attractiveness and making it seem indirect.
Exactly. Either OP or her husband saw that post and just copied it.
So either OP is a shady reporter, or gullible enough to fall for anything her husband says to her that he sees on the internet.
Plot twist: He was so drunk that he thought he was with his other woman
How is this wholesome? Your husband sounds like a drunken douche bag.
Sounds like bs to me but it's wholesome bs
And then everyone clapped.
Haha he saved himself there, true legend😩
This is the saddest attempt at saying “I’m hot” that I’ve ever seen.