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Crazy how nature planted all those trees in perfect rows.
I was told that where I live the trees were planted in a row so that the Germans could march in the shade. I don't know if that's a bad Dutch joke or if it's real... the topic is too sensitive around here to randomly ask someone so I always associate rows of trees with bad bad Germans now.
It's half true. Napoleon planted poplar trees alongside his roads so his soldiers could march in the shade
We Germans have a variation of that joke: "Why do the French have so many avenues?"
The joke goes: "Warum gibt es in Frankreich so viele Alleen? Der deutsche Soldat marschiert gern im Schatten". The Pointe is: "because the German soldiers like to march in the shade" .
The world has been throwing shade on the Germans ever since.
The French love avenues
....I don't get it.
That's common with German humor.
Here's another German banger
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Yes! Because a house can’t jump
That's just a Papa Witz.
I WILL NOW TELL YOU A GERMAN JOKE.
A SAUSAGE MAKER BUYS A BOX OF CEREAL.
Of course it is. German humor is no laughing matter.
Roads are named for specic reasons.
In landscaping, an avenue, or allée, is traditionally a straight path or road with a line of trees or large shrubs running along each side, which is used, as its Latin source venire ("to come") indicates, to emphasize the "coming to," or arrival at a landscape or architectural feature. In most cases, the trees planted in an avenue will be all of the same speciesor cultivar, so as to give uniform appearance along the full length of the avenue (source)
Avenues is a metaphor for vaginas because french used to be known as very sexual active.
Eddie Grant's song Electric Avenue will now be known to me as Electric Vaginas.
"Because Germans like to march in the shadow" is the punchline.
Cause they love 'aven you.
Something about getting around the Maginot line I bet.
Why do French tanks have rear mirrors?
To see the frontline.
Wanna buy a good rifle? Get a French one. Never fired, only dropped once.
These are actually pretty funny. As a Dutch person we mostly joke about Belgians but the French and Germans fight for second position. Although I think we have more German jokes than French ones in the end, not sure.
When I google on 'Grappen over Duitsers' and 'Grappen over Fransen' there are "About 329.000 results" on German jokes and "About 322.000 results" about the French. Pretty close result.
Edit: 'Grappen over Belgen' gives "About 327.000 results"
Hmmm....let's see if I Google the names of the countries in combination with 'grappen' (jokes) instead:
My grandparents own several hundred acres and there are several “planted pines” areas throughout their several lots. I was told that they were planted by my great grandfather to be used by future generations as lumber to build houses with or harvest to heat with. They made awesome paintball areas when I was a kid.
If you need firewood, look up coppicing. It's a woodland management practice that ensures you have ample firewood for as long as you need it.
In fact, here's a link: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coppicing
You can also use it as a source of good, straight wood for furniture and cabinet making.
That’s really cool I have seen trees cut this way in my line of work and now I know what it’s called! I have since moved away but my dad still heats with wood. They tend to look for trees that are dead or dying and cut them down to make room for more trees to grow, at least that’s what my grandfather says.
What a guy, thinking ahead like that for his family.
pines are fairly short term timber investments.
if you have land suitable for timber and lots of time, you can plant certain hardwoods. red oak. black walnut, some others. They take 25-30 years to mature but you could pay for a college education on just a couple acres. $75k to $120k per acre at full maturity, and youd start getting walnuts after 10 years or so.
Black walnut won't reach milling age by 35 years. A decent sized walnut or pecan tree is 75+ years old.
to some extent sure. the bigger they are the more valuable they are. you can get 16" diameter logs in 30 years and that's what processors want for veneer.
The 20+ inch logs for solid wood tabletops and stuff are much more valuable but take much longer.
In America, at least in the south, they are planted in rows for easy harvesting. I used to live near a paper mill and most trees for miles around were all in perfect rows.
Happens in the north too. Popular sustainable logging. Cut down all the trees in an area, and row plant the trees you will want to cut down again in a few decades. Planting in rows like that also helps keep the trees growing straight up, meaning straight timber perfect for making planks.
In the midwest osage orange (hedge) trees were planted in long rows by the government to act as wing breaks during the dust bowl. We call them hedge rows. They're all over where I'm from in SEK.
Question: how do you stand it being so flat? It's too flat over there.
Bonus question: What are you supposed to do when there's a bustle in your hedge row?
As someone who moved from Oklahoma to Utah, never again.
You just get used to it I guess. If you're not used to anything else it's not really out of the ordinary.
Sort of funny that it's so flat and yet you can't see very far due to trees/hedge rows. One of my favorite parts about traveling out west is seeing out miles and miles with a mountain range in the distance.
Arboriculture is a form of forest management, that the Germans invented. They started the planting of regular rows of trees for ease of harvest, however it's not really that efficient and can result is some nasty fires if the fire reaches the crown. That and the whole monoculture aspect of some of these forest makes them kinda of barren, wildlife wise.
I always learned, as another Dutch person, we plant them in rows next to our national roads (not highways) for blocking wind and when the road is curvy, to block lights of traffic coming from the other direction.
I always hated them on sunny days when I would sit in a bus and wanted to close my eyes. The constant flashing was annoying to say the least.
But I didn't know it went back to Napoleon era as someone else mentioned for the soldiers to walk in the shade.
Sidenote: We now just plant 'nature' for artistic reasons
I always learned, as another Dutch person, we plant them in rows next to our national roads (not highways) for blocking wind
Oh yes I can see this!!!! After living here for so long I can see why you have so many windmills! I like to call them Dutch hurricanes but they're just storms for you :)
Yes. But the reason I learned why we have them next to our, mostly straight roads, is because of the polders which are empty with just some crops and located near the North Sea where it's windy half the time of the year.
It's also the reason why we have wind barriers in the Port of Rotterdam at certain locations. And on some bridges where it's only placed on the West side because most of the time we have Western winds.
I took an environmental history class a couple years ago and the professor mentioned that the Germans and French were actually the 2 defining forces in early forestry, Germans actually did plant trees in rows but not far enough apart and got skinny hard to use trees, there was some other negative to it I can't remember, whereas the French basically practiced a 'let nature do its work' sort of forestry which was far better long term but didn't give as much resource. The US initially used the German method as well (still does in some places) which is part of the reason California is constantly on fire.
Edit: Oh yeah there was also the British approach of 'if there is a tree in sight it must die, unless it belongs to the royal family'
For pine, another negative of.planting them too close is that it makes it difficult to harvest the straw. Pine plantations now usually plant just wide enough for a tractor to harvest the pine straw between rows. It's popular for use as mulch/garden bedding.
Maybe this is what Trump was confused about when he suggested raking the forest?
Wow, thats a way to degrade your soil fast. First, you have compaction by driving everywhere with heavy machinery. That reduces root growth and water infiltration. Secondly, you remove lots of nutrients from that area.
Crazy how it photoshopped in that deer, too.
Lol. This picture is like calling a bunch of birds on power lines "nature."
Also I’m going to need to see the PS analysis as something looks off with that deer, at least on mobile.
Yeah I like how the deer is lit from the front when it's standing in a shadow
Like how the snow is at least a couple of inches deep, yet you can see the entire hooves?
That's the problem I noticed too. Shouldn't be able to see any black from its hooves.
It’s too tall and the lighting is off. I’ve hunted deer for 30 years (shame on me, right?) and there’s no way that’s a real photo.
Ah yes, monoculture
Could be a paper farm
Damn Nature U Scary.
Are humans not a product of nature? The trees positioning has occured naturally, there is no divine spirit in charge of planting trees in a line.
A city is as natural as a bee hive.
I get where you’re coming from but the first definition of natural is “existing in or caused by nature; not made or caused by humankind”
In Germany the forests are very well managed. This is either an artificial alleyway or a "forst" like around Berlin that was entirely decimated after the war to survive and then extensively replanted
I was thinking the same thing....
That's some high morals you got there partner
Looks like a perfect pelt for sure.
I have a PLAAAAAAAN!
I came to the comments well expecting a RDR 2 reference..hats off to you sir.
WHERE’S OUR MONEY?
Can't fight nature. Can't fight gravity.
I came to the comments hoping to see this
Looks pretty good. Can you try moving the deer a few pixels to the right?
It wasn't easy, but I managed.
Mmmm. That's a hair too far. A smidge back left?
I got u fam.
Remember no judging to stifle this burgeoning creativity!
Looks about as real as the original!
The deer is so, so obvious - even as a thumbnail. Fully expecting to see this on Facebook in the next couple days with some inspirational quote.
> some inspirational quote.
Saw one of these about not giving up on your dreams because Van Gogh didn't start painting till 26 or something (which I don't even think is true), but even if that were true it's like... Van Gogh is almost as famous for being miserable and dying young as he is for being a painter.
You’re so right. But I don’t think that really takes away from the point. They’re clearly pointing out that it is never too late to start something new, van gogh’s depression and early death have nothing to do with that.
No no no, the snow is just so hard packed, that he's just not sinking into it even a millimeter. /s
Photoshop is a helluva drug
Poorly at that
This reminds me of a time in northern Michigan where I saw a wolf standing smack in the middle of an empty road similar to this (I was looking out the back window of a moving car). But I had no effing camera. Grrrrrr!!! It was like real life photoshop.
That sounds like my first coyote encounter!! I'm sure it wasn't precisely in the middle of the road, but close enough. Plus it was in a really pretty area, so it was just fucking amazing when I realized what I was looking at. I'll always remember that ❤
This shit in this pic is photoshop though, I'd bet real money on it lmao
Ah well it was a happy trigger for a brief nice memory of the one and only time I ever saw a real live wolf in the forest.
So a fake deer and an artificial forest.
My god this is so fucking bad. Who let the 65 year olds in?
Terrible content, op, terrible.
Photoshop deer are hard to see in the wild
Lol, OP’s only posts are this and one a couple hours ago in /r/freekarma4u. Spam bot incoming.
Comments are even better. Both comments that criticize/praise Trump and Clinton, placed in subs that will predictably upvote.
Honestly why does anybody do this? What’s the damn point?
They probably sell the account after it reaches a certain threshold.
aw, what a sad little sub.
i’m a little ashamed to say i spent about 10 minutes sorting by new and downvoting posts and their comments down to zero.
Photoshop is a hell of a drug
Ya but trees don't grow in straight lines on their own.
But... 'nature' is beautiful sounds better than tree farms are beautiful
Whitetail deer actually do like to photoshop themselves into various pictures
Trees can be planted... much like that awful stock image of that dear with the wrong lighting.
Arthur Morgan, always a good boah.
You're a good man, Arthur Morgan.
Ooh a natural tree farm..
I imagine old people must have upvoted this to the front page because they can't see an obvious photoshop job when it's right in front of their face.
Arthur Morgan with high honor
It’s why I come up here
Ah the high honour ending.
I like how the photoshopped deer still has a weird glow on it from the light in the actual picture it came from.
MAY I STAND UNSHAKEN. AMID... AMIDST A CRASHING WORLD.
That's why Adobe is valued so much 💜
Looks like the deer is photoshoped.
Not to be “that guy,” but the deer definitely looks like he was photoshopped in. You can see the bottom of the hooves even though the snow has accumulation.
Still a beautiful pic and I could be wrong but I don’t think so
I love it how all the trees in this forest lined up perfectly, I bet the odds of that happening are astronomical.
Looks like a nice open shot to me
Arthur Morgan, are you watching us?
Ah yes, a great picture of the forest spirit.
ITS COMING RIGHT FOR US!!!!!
The negative space between the trees looks like a tree
It must be a ghost deer! See how his hooves don’t sink into the snow? I’m totally freaking out, y’all!
Reminds me of the Scorpion scene in the MK movie.
When your honor is high.
This looks like the first scene in some horror movie where a ancient forrest god demon bates a group of hipsters into crossing into his domain.
"God does not build in straight lines."
Say it with me, “Photoshopped”!!!!!
What a beautiful natural tree farm
That buck is definitely photoshopped, right?
Oh, a floating deer!
Eh, pines in lines are not nature. That is a monoculture crop, same as a corn field.
Yeah, that plantation is sooo natural
There's thousands of trees planted like this in northern Michigan and I was always told that during the great depression the state hired thousands of people to plant trees to help get through the tough times and have more trees for lumber in the future.
What an amazing photo.