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You don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it reaaaally half assed. That's the American Way!
This became so much more real and understandable as I got older.
"I used to be with it, but then they changed what it was. Now what I'm with isn't it and what's it seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to you too."
"There's a five day waiting period before you can pick up your fire arm"
Homer: "But i'm angry now"
“IVE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOUR RULES! WHEN DO WE GET THE FREAKIN GUNS!”
Bart: “This is the worst day of my life” Homer:”Worst day if your life sooo far” I think about this a lot it helps me get through some bad times
Yes...I’ve watched this episode sooooo many times over the past 23-24 years and this line cracks me up every time. The 5th season of The Simpsons has so so many memorable episodes.
"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand."
Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities, but then I'd be afraid of smothering him.
Homer: Yeah, and then we'd get the chair.
Marge: That's not what I meant.
Homer: It is, Marge, admit it.
Probably misses his old glasses
The fact this whole exchange is delivered with the driest delivery imaginable makes it hilarious.
Homer, there's a man here who thinks he can help you!
No, he's a scientist!
Batman's a scientist.
He's not Batman!
I had this huge debate with a friend whether Batman is a Scientist. For me alone this episode locks him in as a scientist forever, for my friend he wonders why I trust the wisdom of Homer.
I mean he's at the very least a forensic scientist. There's a reason he's the greatest detective of all time.
Can you name the truck with four wheel drive, smells like a steak and seats 35....
I was saying boo-urns
"I am so smart! S-M-R-T...I mean, S-M-A-R-T"
It's iconic because of the story behind it. The misspelling was an ad-lib; Dan Castellaneta says he gets so into the Homer mindset that 'Homerisms' come out of their own accord.
Everything’s coming up Milhouse!
I’ve been saying it a lot lately mainly because everything is going to shit
Apparently the whole "steamed hams" ordeal between Skinner and Supernintendo Chalmers.
It's an Albany expression.
"I have three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three money?"
I legitimately have heard "Lousy SMarch weather" more times than I can believe. Often at work, where thousands of people come and go.
"Don't touch Willie". Good advice
"Worst. Episode. Ever."
It has taken on a life of it's own, and now an entire generation uses the same cadence with different words to describe pretty much anything.
The best part is that they co-opted this from the Simpsons message boards in the old Usenet newsgroups.
As soon as a new episode aired, the discussion threads would start, and invariably one of them--with that title--would be someone telling us just how much that episode sucked.
It's hilarious that the arguments made today about how much the simpsons sucks theses days were being made back during the usenet day. In the middle of the golden era. Im starting to think that the saying "no one hates Star Wars as much as Star Wars fans" applies to the simpsons too.
"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"
When I grow up I either want to be a principal or a caterpillar.
That was my quote in my high school graduate year book
“What’s a battle?”
"I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords..."
Homer: so you want to be a vegetarian. That means you can’t eat pork?
Lisa: No! Dad, they all come from the same animal!
Homer: sure Lisa, some magical animal.
"You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel!"
"Disco Stu doesn't advertise."
I like my beer cold my TV loud and my homosexuals... FLAAAMING!!
Homer to himself
"Homer, you shouldnt be driving drunk" "Wait a minute, you're drunk! I'm not gonna listen to you!"
Internally - uh oh, can't say I was at a bar, but what else is open at midnight? Think Homer
It's a pornography store, I was buying pornography.
“Thank you come again” everyone has heard of it
One that's iconic to me is Milhouse's grandma hearing the doorbell at night and telling him: "A caller? At this hour?? You dial 9-1, then when I say so, dial 1 again."
It's just the perfect old lady thing to say, AND it encapsulates my panic as a socially awkward person when the doorbell rings, AND it's fucking hilarious - like if you're so sure an assailant is ringing the doorbell, why answer the door?
Shut up shut up SHUT UP
I wore an onion on my belt bc it was the style at the time. Back then we had pictures of bumblebee on the nickel & you could get 5 bee’s for a quarter. Now where was I...
For me, it was one of the more serious lines, where Lisa is sad about something and Marge tells her, "Always be yourself. If you want to be sad, honey, be sad. We’ll ride it out with you, and when you get finished feeling sad, we’ll still be there. From now on, let me do the smiling for both of us."
I needed my own mom to say that to me when I was a teenager, but hearing it from Marge followed me.
Marge is such a sweet mom I could have used a mom telling me that too when I was little
🎶 Simpson, Homer Simpson- He's the greatest guy in history. From the, town of Springfield- He's about to hit a chesnut tree! 🎶
♫ Call Mr. Plow. That's my name. That name again is Mr. Plow. ♫
Do-nuts? I told you I don’t like ethnic foods!
Also: Aw Milhouse, give him back his soul, I’ve got work tomorrow!
"...we went fishing..."
"Do these sound like the actions of a man who had all he could eat?"
"'TIS NO MAN. 'TIS A REMORSELESS EATING MACHINE!"
"Here in America, we don't tolerate that kind of crap, SIR!"
That's an odd name. I'd have called them chazzwazzers.
I fucking hate it when some US show does a tokenistic "Down Under" ep Seppo shows do. Oh, look, there's a roo and a koala just chillin' in front of the Opera House.
But man, Bart Vs. Australia is a thing of beauty.
Except for the Prime Minister lounging about in a farm dam in a tyre tube. That's grossly inaccurate.
Only our Deputy PMs would do that, and only if the Coalition's in power.
He's also holding a can of Fosters which is by far the grossest inaccuracy in that whole episode.
Marge: Homer, Mr. Burns just called. He said if you don't come in tomorrow, don't bother coming in on Monday. Homer: Woo hoo! Four day weekend!
Yeah, it’s either this or “mmmmm, ______”
Why: to be iconic it has to be highly repeated in and out of the show. This and d’oh are the most often used in the show.
Yeah, those are often appropriate in context of daily conversation. No one really gets a lot of chances to mention monorails.
It has to be this, given that it got an entry in the dictionary.
When Homer and Barney finish training to go into space, they pour a toast to congratulate Barney for being chosen and he goes crazy after tasting the drink...then the scientist says he doesn't understand because it's non-alcoholic champagne...that shit had me dying
I love that episode... Especially where the NASA guy clubs Barney over the head and his partner asks where he got the club. "Sent away."
Inflammable means flammable? What a country!
“When will I... In this house, we obey the laws of THERMODYNAMICS!”
Some moments where homer is smart
This is an impossible question to answer . I'm going to go with Nelson's " haw haw" .
In my own life I say " everything is coming up Milhouse " quite a bit though.
This is the best game I’ve ever played and I haven’t even put my name in yet!
Nobody likes Milhouse!
You tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
"You dont make friends with salad"
"You don't WIN friends with salad." Common mistake made by the in-laws at Xmas dinner.
I bent my Wookiee
I came here for this line, so I will respond with my second favorite Ralphism:
My cat's breath smells like cat food
“Oh boy, sleep! That’s where I’m a Viking!”
I like to cry at the ocean, because only there do my tears seem small.
Well Seymour, you're an odd fellow, but you steam a good ham.
Grampa - I’m cold and there are wolves after me.
"I wash myself with a rag on a stick"
It has to be "meh"
Did "meh" originate with The Simpsons? I know "yoink" did, and I do use "yoink" all the fuckin time.
That name again is Mr. Plow.
Mr. Burns: Smithers. Are they booing me?
Smithers: Uhhh no. They’re saying...Boo-urns! Boo-urns!
Mr. Burns: Are you saying boo or Boo-urns?
Moleman: I was saying Boo-Urns
To me it's either: "Oh, they have the Internet on computers now."
Or: "My feet are soaked, but my cuffs are bone dry! Everything's coming up Milhouse!"
Could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot that he himself could not eat it?
Wow as melon scratchers go, that’s a honeydoodle.
"I never knew baseball was so boring." Homer after he gave up drinking.
“No tv and no beer make homer something something”
“Don’t mind if I do!”
Also not a line but the opening with we’ll miss you Mrs k on the chalkboard
"But surely you can't put a price on your family's safety?"
"I wouldn't think so either, but here we are."
Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers!
"I've created Lutherans!" Lisa, from Treehouse of Horror VII
And the doctor told me that both my eyes were lazy, and that's why it was the best summer ever! - Ralph Wiggum
DO IT FOR HER
"Do not touch Willie." Homer- "good advice"
Release the hounds
"Aurora borealis!? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?"
"... May I see it?"
Sex Cauldron!! I thought they closed that place down years ago??!
"And I swore never to read again after 'To Kill a Mockingbird' gave me no useful advice on killing mockingbirds. It did teach me not to judge a man based on the color of his skin, but what good does that do me?" -- Homer Simpson
Do you have anything to drink? Diet Mountain Dew or crab juice. Ah ew ach I’ll have a crab juice.
I see you've played Knifey Spoony before.
Homer Simpson: I'm not jealous, I'm envious. Jealousy is when you worry someone will take what you have. Envy is wanting what someone else has. What I feel is envy.
Lisa Simpson: [Checking into a dictionary] Wow, he's right.
She needs premium! PREMIUM!!!!!
No one ever suspects the butterfly
"Don't cry for me. I'm already dead."
I choo choo choose you
Homer: Sir, I need to know where I can get some business hammocks.
Scorpio: Hammocks? My goodness, what an idea. Why didn't I think of that? Hammocks! Homer, there's four places; there's the Hammock Hut, that's on Third.
Scorpio: There's Hammocks Are Us, that's on Third, too.
Homer: Got it.
Scorpio: You got Put Your Butt There...
Scorpio: ...that's on Third.
Scorpio: Swing Low Sweet Chariot...
Scorpio: Matter of fact, they're all in the same complex... it's the Hammock Complex, down on Third? Homer: Oh, the Hammock District!
Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me. Okay Mr. Burns, what's your first name? I don't know.
Student to Mr Burns: "You're WORSE than Hitler! Mr Burns: "It's too late for flattery"
“I call the big one bitey”
Seymour you're fired
Excuse me,did you call me a liar?
No,I said "You're fired"
The children were rescued by...
Let’s say moe
"Bake 'em away toys"
“To alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems”