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Said by Giles Corey, an American farmer who was accused of witchcraft and crushed to death by giant stones to try to force him to plead guilty or not guilty.
The reason he refused to plead either guilty or not guilty was that if he never entered a plea they wouldn’t be able to take his land from his family.
There’s actually a band (or maybe it’s one guy) called Giles Corey and it’s really depressing music about how he wants to die.
Just one guy, it’s Dan Barrett from Have A Nice Life. They also make supremely depressing music if you’re into that.
I believe the Giles Corey album was literally the result of Dan spending a couple years in isolation (like, literally in a shack in the woods), wanting to suicide.
"Sometime in the Spring of 2009 I tried to kill myself. Six months before that, I used a Voor’s Head Device for the first time."
This line opens the 150-page book that accompanies Giles Corey, an intensely personal, intimate portrait of depression that took me almost 4 years to make.
We've called this "acoustic music from the industrial revolution," and that's as good as anything. Dominated by the acoustic guitar, the music is a gloomy mixture of Americana influences, snippets of EVP recordings, ghostly choirs and deep, heavy organ. It ranges from very dark to triumphant, hushed quiet to crashingly loud.
The album follows a story arc of emotions that are detailed in the accompanying book, as much a part of this record as the music. The text switches between personal tales of struggles with depression, suicide, and a feeling of being lost, and the story of cult-leader and afterlife theorist Robert Voor. Voor's writings on death and the afterlife feature prominently across HAVE A NICE LIFE's "Deathconsciousness," Nahvalr's self-titled debut, and Giles Corey, making him the unifying factor behind most of the music I've written in the last 10 years.
This record is as personal and raw as anything I've ever done. Thank you for your interest
From the bandcamp page for the album
JFK's were pretty morbid.
In the car they were talking about how despite the warnings "you can't say the people of texas haven't given you a warm welcome.", JFK replied "No,i suppose you certainly cannot".... moments later he was shot.
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance.
To be fair, they did not hit an elephant.
That is an excellent point.
I'm pretty sure Villa was ambushed and immediately shot in the head like 10 times. I don't think he had the time or the brain to say really anything.
He might have said ouch.
Sedgwick was pretty funny. Those words were him mocking Confederate Sharpshooters to inspire his men. Moments later a Confederate sniper shot him through the eye and killed him.
"Soldiers, when I give the command to fire, fire straight at my heart. Wait for the order. It will be my last to you. I protest against my condemnation. I have fought a hundred battles for France, and not one against her ... Soldiers, fire!" - Michel Ney, one of Napolean's generals, after requesting and being given permission to command the firing squad that would execute him for treason. I always thought it was pretty badass.
Even without the speech, demanding control of your own firing squad is indicative of some giant balls.
He commanded his own firing squad?
And...we're sure that this guy actually died?
Dude had ginormous balls and proved it on every campaign and battle he took part in. Read about his actions at Waterloo, he acted like a man trying to meet his death. He directly led a mass cavalry charge against the British to take out their cannons and during it had six horses shot out from under him. Near the end of the battle he led one of the last infantry charges of the battle, to his men he shouted "Come and see how a marshal of France meets his death!" He was an incredibly brave man.
"I have offended God and mankind because my work did not reach the quality it should have" L. DaVinci
Imagine being arguably the smartest person to ever live and you’re still disappointed in yourself
Seems like they might go hand in hand. The whole, "the more you know the more you know how much you don't know" kind of thing.
Yeah, seems like it's hard to be proud of oneself.
it always seems like smarter people get disappointed in themselves more often
that's why most people who rant and rave about how smart they are are usually not as smart as they go on about
Learned on Reddit: the almost final words of writer Roald Dahl, were "You know, I'm not frightened. It's just that I will miss you all so much" to his family. After appearing to fall unconscious the nurse then injected him with morphine to ease his passing and he said his actual last words: “Ow, fuck!”
this actually makes me cry
EDIT: the first part not the second part
My biggest fear before I got married and had children was death itself.
My biggest fear now isn't death, but that at some point, I will say my final goodbyes to them.
In a family of 5, one person will go to four funerals. One person will go to zero funerals.
Not if everyone dies in a freak accident together that nobody was prepared for. Then your last memories could potentially be incredibly happy and never have to say goodbye.
That’s why all families need to have a designated survivor, like the presidential line of succession. If everyone is gathered in one place then one family member needs to be off-site in a secure undisclosed location.
"I shall hear in Heaven." -- Ludwig van Beethoven
I heard his last words were “Applaud, friends, the comedy is over.”
That was, to my memory, either Nero or Caligula. Whichever one had the inane obsession with being a great bard and stage actor. Not Beethoven, though.
No, he was right. Nero's last words were reportedly "What an artist dies in me!"
I thought Nero's were "What an artist the world is losing in me."
I'm not sure what his last WORDS were, but I learned in a music history class that he died of a heart attack he suffered as he screamed at a thunderstorm from his apartment window, and that's pretty badass.
When I did a tour of Texas Prisons the priests who's done last rights for the prisons for over 30 years said one time a guy was really nervous but trying to be upbeat as they walked him to the death chamber. He asked the priest if he had any candy and he did so he gave some hard candy to the man who would soon be put to death.
Once they got him strapped to the table, the prisoner said "Thanks for the lifesaver, man, but I don't think its going to work!".
He said a lot of the prisoners cracked jokes like that at the end.
Prisoner: "Hey, do you have any hard candy?"
Priest: "Why, yes, that's a completely normal thing to expect a priest to have on them at an execution. I have some right here."
This is completely not official. A guy I knew in Vietnam was badly wounded and dying, it was obvious he didn't have long. I was giving him some water from a canteen he looked at me and said "I'll never see the 1969 GTO" Big smile and exhale.
Maybe not the greatest but certainly up there:
"Thomas Jefferson survives" - John Adams, July 4, 1826. Of course Adams did not know that Jefferson had died mere hours before, and both of them died on the 50th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence.
Wasn't that because they were highly competitive after Jefferson won the presidency, and Adams wanted to beat him at something?
They were deep friends at that point and they thought that either's influence was necessary to keep the country on the right course.
Considering Adams was president before Jefferson, I'd think he'd already beat him there.
George Appel (A criminal sentenced to death by Electrict Chair) “Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel ”
"I'm well done on this side. Turn me over!" Last words of Saint Lawrence. He had been put upon a fire to suffer and die. As a result he is considered the patron saint of comedians.
Also the patron saint of cooks. Love that morbid humor.
Between this and Mr. French elsewhere in the thread I'm wondering if the electric chair just brings out the punster in people.
“How’s this for a headline?, French fries”.
I mean, it's one of the few times you know in advance you're going to die at a set time and place, and have time to think of last words that will be relevant.
My favorite famous last words story is about last words that are unknown. Einstein's last words were in German, and the nurse with him didn't speak German. We'll never know.
This was likely the alternate ending of the first chapter of what would then become The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
"Why are you dodging like this? They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance." Union Army General John Sedgwick before being hit by a confederate sharpshooter at 1,000 yards at the Battle of Spotsylvania Court House.
The English surgeon Joseph Henry Green was taking his own pulse moments before his death. His last words were "it stopped."
Marie Antoinette's are pretty astonishing, when walking up to the Guillotine she aciidentally stood on her executioners toes and said: "forgive me, Sir"... imagine saying that to the guy you know is about to end your life.
Well you wouldn't want to piss him off, in case he makes a mess of your execution on purpose.
yeah, it wasn't uncommon to pay your executioner to do a good job and take some extra time sharpening the blade.
IIRC Executioners actually relied heavily on their reputations as being "hands of justice" delivering swift death and not just murdering brutes hacking away at people
Yeah. If they are sloppy, it would reflect poorly on the authority whose justice they are carrying out.
When Voltaire was given his last rites he was asked if he renouced Satan. He responded with 'This is no time to be making enemies'.
"I did not get my Spaghetti-O's; I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this."
Thomas J. Grasso
uh oh spaghetti-o's
I'd be pretty pissed about that too for my last meal.
It's even more ridiculous, because his last meal was;
"Grasso's last meal was two dozen steamed mussels, two dozen steamed clams (flavored by a wedge of lemon), a double cheeseburger from Burger King, a half-dozen barbecued spare ribs, two strawberry milkshakes, one-half of a pumpkin pie with whipped cream, diced strawberries, and he requested a can of SpaghettiOs with meatballs though he used his last words to claim that kitchen staff did not honor this request."
"Yes, hurry it up, you Hoosier bastard! I could kill a dozen men while you're screwing around!"- Carl Pazram
Panzram* There’s a pretty sweet band named after him. The man was pure, distilled chaotic evil.
Its a bit of a cheat because Teddy Roosevelt died in his sleep, but Elliot Roosevelt had this to say about it: "Death had to take him sleeping, for if he was awake, there would have been a fight."
I want a movie to be made about Teddy Roosevelt, and I want him to be played by Nick Offerman.
I would rather a TV series. A movie would be great but there are a lot of smaller details of his life that would be just as great to see and wouldn't make the movie.
For instance, Teddy was once aboard a submarine that was fired on by another friendly sub, The William D. Porter. His response on hearing that they had been fired on and might all be about to die was to ask to be taken to the railing on deck so he could see the torpedo that was chasing them.
Just a larger than life character, all around. Dangit Hollywood, enough with the Marvel movies, let us have ONE about President Roosevelt!
I’d be down for that.
It still has to be Nick Offerman though.
Teddy was the fucking man.
James D. French, murderer executed by electric chair; he predicted the next day's newspaper headline: "French fries!"
He saw the opportunity, and dammit he took it.
As he laid in the hospital, his family visited. The nurse assured them he was doing fine and would make a swift recovery. Hearing this Ibsan muttered "on the contrary" and died.
"Don't worry sir, you'll be fine."
"Thats where you're wrong, kiddo."
"Oooh I can feel it, this is gonna be the big one!" - My grandad, right before taking the shit that killed him lol.
My Gran had died a few months before and he was just all sorts of fucked up. He had some stomach problems, and the doctor said "if you keep drinking with this medication, you're gonna die". So he doubled the amount he drank. Died trying to take a massive dump. Man's a legend.
A lot of old people die on the shitter, because it can cause a heart attack or arrhythmia when they 'bear down' to push out a turd. A friend who does home health care, many of whom are elderly, told me about this. You'll often arrive at a client's home to discover them cold dead, sitting on the shitter. This is a good reason to eat in a way that lets you just relax and drop one naturally, when your body 'asks' for it - not get constipated and/or insist on dropping a deuce on your imposed schedule.
Maybe time to buy a squatty potty.
Or because a short in stature son puts a crossbow bolt through them while on said shitter.
I’m sorry for your loss but damn that’s pretty cool.
"Kurt Russel." - Walt Disney
I didn't think Kurt Russell could get any cooler until I read that his name were Walt Disney's last words.
When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, looks you crooked in the eye, and asks you if you paid your dues; you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have you paid your dues, Jack? Yes sir, the check is in the mail."
“Farewell my friends! I go to glory!” —Isadora Duncan. She was being taken for a drive in a Bugatti Type 35 (which was an open wheel sorts car) in Nice in September of 1927. She said these words then she tossed her long silk scarf over her shoulder, just as the driver was pulling away. The scarf got tangled in the spokes of the rear passenger side wheel and broke her neck. She died instantly.
"What are you gonna do, shoot me?"
Drummer Buddy Rich died after surgery in 1987. As he was being prepped for surgery, a nurse asked him, “Is there anything you can’t take?” Rich replied, “Yeah, country music.”
My ancestors are smiling at me Imperials, can you say the same?!
If he hadn't been impatient and cut off the priest's prayer he would have survived. He only needed a few minutes before Alduin freed everyone.
Then it becomes the story of Roggvir instead of the story of Dragonborn.
James French before being executed by electric chair. "Hey fellas, how's this for a headline, 'French Fries'"
Saint Lorenzo, was one of seven deacons under Pope St. Sixtus and was condemned to death by the Prefect of Rome. The story goes that as he was being grilled, he called out to those torturing him and said, ” Turn me over I’m done on this side!”. Then he prayed that the city of Rome might be converted to Jesus and that the Catholic Faith may spread all over the world. And right before he died, he said, “It’s cooked enough now.”
I believe in english it's saint Lawrence. In french it's saint laurent anw
"How can we expect righteousness to prevail when there is hardly anyone willing to give himself up individually to a righteous cause? Such a fine, sunny day, and I have to go, but what does my death matter, if through us, thousands of people are awakened and stirred to action?"
Sophie Scholl, Member of the White Rose. A Non Violent Resistance Group in Nazi Germany.
Oh yeah, I know the story for this one! He had some planned last words that were really nice (see u/agentoneal's post further down) but then the nurse gave him a shot of morphine, prompting his actual last words.
Yep. I'm sure a fair number of people have actually uttered things like 'ow fuck' and 'oh shit' as their last words.
My close friend died skiing with me.
"You sure you wanna hit that?" "Ummmmm...Yeah. You wanna know why? Because skiing"
He then skiied away before I could say anything.
He died from landing on his head from 65 feet in the air.
Ouch. That's horrible.
What does hot that mean? Sorry for your loss.
“I drank what..?” - Socrates
I laughed at this but,according to Plato, his actual words translated to "Crito, we owe a cock to Asclepius. Please, don't forget to pay the debt."
Some speculate this meant he was already sick, and he took the poison to expedite his suffering.
Socrates was the ultimate troll. He actually convinced more members of the jury to execute him than voted to convict him in the first place.
After he was convicted they asked him what he thought his punishment should be, and he just said, "well, asking me what my punishment should be is essentially asking me what I feel I deserve. I think the city of Athens should pay for all of my living expenses."
This is part of that; his arguments so turned the jury against him that people interpret them to mean he wanted to die.
My grandma was in terrible health the last few months of her life. I remember going over to see her for the last time and the previous nurse had left her TV on a Spanish station (which she didn't speak) I was next to her bed and she pointed up towards the TV wanting to know what was going on and said, "I should have learned Spanish..."
Last thing she said to me
Jesus that's sad
It's a bit too late to get traction, but this one always amused me:
“I am about to–or I am going to–die; either expression is used.”
– French grammarian Dominique Bouhours (1628-1702)
"I've had 18 straight whiskies . . . I think that's the record."
Supposedly Alexander the Great's last words tore his own empire apart. As he was dying he was asked who should rule after him. He said, "The strongest."
“I’m bored with it all” Sir Winston Churchill
Are you guys ready? Let's roll.
Technically probably not his last words but they are the last known words by anybody who survived him.
I knew some relatives of this guy. He's buried near my grandma. Born after the fact so never met him.
“Money can’t buy life.”
— Bob Marley’s last words, spoken to his son Ziggy
but it can buy toe cancer treatment.
Teddy Roosevelt (1858-1919): "Turn out the light."
Nathan Hale was a spy for the Americans during the Revolutionary war
The British caught him and sentenced him to be hung. Last words
I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.
On his deathbed, Aldous Huxley made one last request to his wife: "LSD, 100 micrograms, intramuscular." He was injected twice before he died.
"Hurry it up, you Hoosier bastard! I could kill a dozen men while you're screwing around!" ~ Carl Panzram right before his execution. He murdered 21 people and sodomized over 1000 boys and men. He was an evil bastard.
What the actual fuck? How do you sodomize over a thousand? I mean there are some pretty prolific serial rapists and killers but how do you even have the TIME to rape 1000 kids?
He claimed to have sodomized over a 1,000 men and boys, he also claimed to have murdered 21 people as well. Neither claim has ever been remotely verified.
He was a master hobo and the world's meanest man. The Last Podcast on the Left's Panzram series is some of their best.
"Et tu, Brute?"
A: Julius Caesar likely didn't say that at all. Some sources say he was silent, others claim he said something like "you too, child?" or "You too, young man?"
B: The character of Julius Caesar does say it in the play written by William Shakespeare but even there it's not his last words. The full line reads; "Et tu, Brute? Then fall, Caesar!"
The phrase was Shakespeare’s invention and it’s so poetically perfect it’s become confused with reality
Such heartbreaking last words.
Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line
Do movie lines count? I'm fairly fond of the line from The Adventures of Baron Munchausen where the Sultan asks Baron Munchausen "Have you any famous last words?" to which he replies "Not yet."
Steve Irwin, right before being stabbed by a stingray- “ don’t worry, these things never back up”
“Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven’t said enough!”
"A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP" --Leonard Nimoy
The priest who is now the Patron Saint of Comedians, among other things, was being grilled (literally) and questioned and supposedly said at one point "I think you should turn me over, I'm done on this side."
I have made but one mistake
-emperor Titus. Nobody knows what that one mistake was
"Shoot straight, you bastards!" — Harry "Breaker" Morant, before being executed by firing squat.
Well Pancho met his match, you know,
On the deserts down in Mexico,
And nobody heard his dying words,
But that's the way it goes
"What?! Men dodging this way for single bullets? What will you do when they open fire along the whole line? I am ashamed of you. They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance."
-General John Sedgwick (about 10 seconds before he was shot in the head and died.)
“How’s your sister” - Cayde 6
"Don't let me die like this, say I said something" - Emiliano Zapata
Not one mention of this?
"I regret that I have but one life to lose for my country."
During the Spanish conquest of the America's the chief Hatuey was going to be burned at the stake when he was offered last rights by a friar who asked him if he would accept Jesus to get into Heaven so Hatuey asked if Spaniards go to Heaven to which the friar responded "If they are good yes" then without a second thought Hatuey responded "Then I choose hell because to be with Spaniards in Heaven is my hell"
Oscar Wilde - "Either this wallpaper goes or I do."
How did you miss a word when bolding your sentence?
"they couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..."