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Your parents are literally the worst part of my job.
9/10 times when you havet a student acting, eh, "different" and you meet their parents for the first time it explains alot. Often everything.
Yes, I put you in a group with the kid you have a crush on intentionally. I'm stuck here with you 180 days a year, I want to see some drama.
EDIT: I think this is my most upvoted comment. Glad my matchmaking could make some folks smile. Also, thanks for my first gold!
EDIT PART TWO: Silver too? No paparazzi, please. But seriously, thanks!
I like how you make your own reality TV.
It ain't much, but it's honest work
My Food and Nutrition teacher started off the semester telling us not to question her seating/grouping decisions because at that time she had 5 known adult couples that got married specifically because they met in her class. She showed us pictures of her at their wedding. As far as I know she had a 0% divorce rate with half of the couples being together at least 20 years.
I think what you learn in the other classes is mostly useless rubbish, the things you're supposed to do to learn it is boring and ineffective, and the way our schools are organised is archaic and not fit for humans, much less kids.
I’m not saying I liked fights in my classroom. I’m just saying I might have taken a little longer to react when the jerk student / bully was finally getting what was long overdue.
Also, thank you to my students who would have my back when they’d kindly remind the class that I exist. "HEY, YA’LL MOTHA FUCKAS SHUT THE FUCK UP. MR. ____ IS TRYNA TEACH!" I had to look a little disappointed, but I appreciate you and I thank you for being my voice.
Yes, we have a new seating chart... and yes, I sat you next to her because I can tell you have a crush on her. I noticed you try harder on your work when she is around, and to be honest... you two would make a cute couple :)
I am no longer a teacher, but I remember several days that I felt lazy and wanted to give the class the day off. I never did because I knew the teacher's pet would rat me out. Sometimes even the teachers don't like the teacher's pet.
Oh okay I first thought every teacher in your country had an actual pet but I eventually figured out you probably were speaking of "shoe-licker" dude as we call them in French.
Outside of the classroom, we would call these people “brown-nosers”, which is my favorite widely and casually used slang
I’d let you get away with so much more if you were actually a decent person who treated others with kindness and respect. Assholes rarely get the benefit of doubt or indifference.
Absolutely this. Kids would be surprised by how much freedom they could get if they all tried to be nice to each other.
I teach middle school in Taiwan. My students are 60% ESL, 30% Intermediate English Proficiency, and 10% Native Fluency (only have 42 students so this number is pretty on the money).
I want to tell them this: I'm not an idiot. When you are ridiculing me in Chinese, I've picked up phrases and know which ones you're using. Don't act surprised when I give you detention for calling me bendan (dumbass) or baichi (idiot). I know what you're saying ugh! Bendan!
Oh I second tf out of this! I teach in Cambodia. They think I don't know what they're saying when they talk shit to me in Khmer, even though I know exactly what they just said...
Trying hard is necessary but not sufficient for most accomplishments. Intelligence is necessary but not sufficient for most accomplishments.
I can’t tell the sweet, hardworking but unintelligent kid he won’t be a doctor. I can’t tell the smart but lazy asshole he won’t be a doctor. Both end up in my remedial class and blame being in remedial class on mean teachers labelling them. I appreciate childhood is the time for dreams but it means people make terrible decisions when they don’t understand that we just put them at the highest level we think they can pass. We don’t know why they are years behind their peers, just that they are. I try to see potential and inspire kids to try their best, I really do. But there’s not a lot I can do if someone is dedicated to hiding their low intelligence by trying to appear as a lazy asshole instead or trying to hide their higher intelligence by pretending to be unintelligent to get easier work.
Yelling “fuck!” in the hallways doesn’t make you a badass. Teachers are yelling fuck in their heads all day long.
You can be unsuccessful at school but successful in life. I pretend that it is important for you to do well in my subject, but in reality you'll most probably find your niche in life and be reasonably content or hopefully extremely happy. You might hate Maths, English, Science, but turn out to be the most amazing parent, artist, carpenter or even a mathematician, playwright or researcher. You might get the lowest scores in class and end up being the most successful of your peers. I feign annoyance, anger, disappointment. I reluctantly phone your parents, give you detentions, or write up critical reports. I have to, it's my job. If you do well in my subject then that's great, but if you don't then just relax. We can't all be good at everything.
Oh, and do you think you hate exams, tests and homework? Your mild dislike of the work is a mere candle flame compared to the hatred that burns like a million suns, that I feel when I have to fucking mark it.
I can see who you have a crush on in the classroom.
My Philosophy teacher straight up told me, "stop flirting with ____, you're here to work". Wasn't taking any bullshit that day
My Spanish teacher told me to get her number after class
Edit: I was talking to a girl in class, so my Spanish teacher told me to get the girl’s number when class ends
If you’re nice to me and aren’t disruptive I’ll always work the numbers in your favor when it comes time to post grades.
The weed smell doesn't magically disappear between the parking lot and my classroom.
"How do i smell bro?" "You're good, me?" "You're good too."
We can smell the weed. Seriously, at least wait until after school.
It's called high school for a reason, right?
If your parents email a teacher and argue with them, the whole staff knows. (At least at my school)
Yes, and when there is a parent who is particularly awful to a teacher, that teacher will warn all of the kid's future teachers before they even sit in their assigned seat on the first day of school.
We school bus drivers do the same.
Students know too lol. You can just tell which kid has the helicopter parents, and sometimes teachers talk a little too loud (none of mine ever drop names, but you get the gist).
That we have much better hearing than you assume. We just choose our battles as it pertains to inappropriate comments. And sometimes I pretend not to see that thing you did just because I too found it humorous, and speaking to you about it would only result in me cracking up.
Edit: well this really blew up! I am barely seeing people’s reactions to it. I appreciate all the responses. A lot of great comments. And I can definitely share stories for those interested. Haha
It's so funny when they think they're getting away with something but no, it's just near the end of the day and you're too tired to deal with it
I freaked a student out a few months ago. As he passed me out the door I leaned down and whispered "dont make paper airplanes in my class anymore"
He had no clue I'd seen, went white as a sheet and left.
He hasnt done it since (yet)
When you think you are being genius by getting me to talk about random things at the beginning of class instead of "teaching", I'm really allowing it to happen b/c I don't have enough planned to cover a full class.
My favorite high school teacher (he taught history) confessed on the last day of my senior year that he always started class by talking about something completely random because he knew none of us were ready to pay attention right when class was supposed to start. Had no idea. It was a really good strategy that made the transition into the lesson a lot less jarring.
I just wanna say that I love all of you wonderful, underappreciated and underpaid teachers. Teachers got me through some of the worst times of my childhood and adolescence. ❤️
Except for you, Mrs. Hanson. Fuck you.
Edit: It’s been almost a month and I still appreciate people using this comment as a place to go off on the shitty teachers they’ve had. Teachers are amazing, keep shitting on the ones who don’t deserve to be grouped in with the awesome majority. 👍🏻
I'm a bus driver. Sit the fuck down you will die if I crash.
I can definitely hear the horrible things you are saying. Yes, I see that you are on the other side of the room. I may be "old" to you but I am certainly not deaf.
Also, that teenage boy is definitely going to buy you a Big Mac in exchange for oral sex. 100 out 100 times.
I need the story on that second one
This girl was telling a boy about how hungry she was and didn't have any money. They didn't think I could hear them of course. She says, "I'll suck your dick if you buy me a Big Mac".
We're not exactly in the best area here.
I pretended like I didn't hear it of course.
Edit: can to could
I remember a seeing a meme where some girl made fun of short guys and short dude responded with "you gave me head for a Whopper" or something.
I guess burgers for bjs are a thing.
You don’t need anything I teach you to be successful in life. Math is about learning to think, not graphing functions and solving equations.
Below: people assuming I don’t know where the math I teach is used. I promise I do. The point I’m making is that we don’t care if the general population can solve polynomial equations, we care that they learn to think.
Not a teacher but an evening janitor.
Part of my area is where the robotics club gathers and works. You guys are so amazing. I wish you could see what I see. A group of kids who are well mixed in ethnicity and gender working hard together. I never see signs of drama when I walk by. When I look through the windows I can see that you guys are listening to each other and treating each other seriously, while also having fun. When you guys leave at night, your room is my favorite room to clean. It's always so clean already and I get to look at your projects and see what all that elbow grease is doing.
It's so encouraging to know that these kids are part of our future. They stay an average of 2 hours after school every day and you can tell it's not forced. They are so enthusiastic that their energy practically shines into the hallway. I celebrate every time a new award is added to the trophy cabinet in the hall
I've read every parent comment in this thread, and I love yours the most, by a longshot. It's very much the perfect "there's hope for the future" comment, and if I could afford it, I'd gild it with all the silly little things that Reddit has come up with lately.
You are right. The administration is completely out of touch when it comes to technology. I also work better while listening to music on my phone.
That my students are the reason why I am second-guessing having my own kids.
My students ARE the reason I don’t have kids.
I teach middle school, not high school, but for me, it's that I know shit sucks at home. I see it every day when you come into my class. I see the tears you're hiding, the pain behind that class clown smile, the emotional fragility behind your tough-guy persona. I know exactly what it's like to come from a broken home. I wish I could do something, but until you come to me, all I can do is try and let you know, with a look, a smile, a subtle turn of phrase, that I'm always there for you when you need an ear, or a shoulder.
My middle school health teacher made everyone smile when they entered his class. Not in a comedic sense, but as a rule. He made it very clear to all of us that our problems, however big or small, do not need to follow us into his class. He promised that for 45 minutes, we got his undivided attention and wanted the same. You need to smile to get into the door. Even if you were having the worst day of your life, you had to smile to get entry into his class. He was the health teacher, and he was big on mental health. He said it is important to smile at least once a day, and he wanted us to meet that quota before his class began. I was a happy kid, good home life, so smiling was always easy for me. The next year, when my family life became a nightmare, I had to promise myself I would smile at least once a day. I broke that promise many times, but I dod my best. And you know what? I got to a point where I could trick myself into being happy. It took me a while to finally become happy. I try to smile when I wake up in the morning. I smile when I make eye contact with a stranger. It didn't dawn on me that every time a student smiled as we entered his class, he would also smile back. Part of me wonders if that was the real trick to it all. Having someone smile at you can make you feel better. Smiling at someone can make their day better. Even if you don't mean it, try to smile. Eventually it will become genuine.
Please stop juuling in the classrooms that’s what the bathrooms are for
recently my school put detectors in the restrooms, but some kid in one of my classes still needed his nicotine fix, so he ripped a fat one with his face in his backpack and said the smoke was his laptop malfunctioning.
Why are there toilets in the juul room?
That it's just as weird for me as it is for you when we bump into each other in public.
Edit: Instead of responding to all, I'll tell my story here. I went on vacation with my then GF, and bumped into a student 3 states over. We both kind of shook our heads "no" at each other, and kept walking, silently agreeing to not address it. I saw this same student again 2 months later, during the summer, at a concert where they were underage drinking. We just shook our heads at one another again, keeping that same silent agreement. I saw this same student 4 more times during the summer entirely by accident. It was never discussed.
I saw my English teacher at the grocery store one. We made eye contact and I nodded. He nodded back. We kept walking.
Said nothing about it the next day. Never brought it up.
That’s proper procedure.
One of my high school Spanish teachers came to view my parent's guest house that was for rent. I made damned sure I went out and said hola to her. I couldn't have my Spanish teacher living 20 ft. from my house, even if she was one of the hot teachers.
Gabriela, the hot high school Spanish teacher, is looking for a new place to live when she finds a guest house listed on Craigslist. Little does she know it's on the property of the parents of Jimmy, her favorite student.
School nights are about to get caliente this fall in Mi Casa Es Su Casa.
sounds like you guys should just be friends dude
“If I didn’t think you would abuse the situation, I would really enjoy being more human and casual around you. I think you are a fun person to be around.”
This one hits home. I was close with a couple teachers through High School, and would even put in extra effort in those classes. But when the teacher would get to a comfortable level around us, it was easy to forget that they got there because of the effort I put in, and it isn't an excuse to stop trying cause they like you.
But when the teacher would get to a comfortable level around us, it was easy to forget that they got there because of the effort I put in, and it isn't an excuse to stop trying cause they like you.
I think this is true for all relationships, friendships or otherwise.
Edit: First gold! Thanks kind stranger!
Look, obviously I am on Reddit all day too or I wouldn't be posting here, but for the love of God can you please pretend to be working so I can go back to being disappointed by reposts.
You're unique, you're not special. Set your goals high but understand that if you change your goals to needs, you will have a lifetime of disappointment.
Damn I feel like this is advice we could all use
I would honestly tell my little kindergartners that life is tough, I love you, many of you can't count on your parents at all, You're poor and have to work harder. I need you to understand how important your education is for having a better life.
But I'm a male teacher in early childhood. Distance is very important, and can't afford to have a parent go all mama bear on me. So I just do my best to make them feel valued in my class.
Right now my students are up in our mobile.
Class was supposed to start at noon.
My coteachers and I are down in the classroom.
They’re thinking “if no one goes down there to get them, we won’t have to do any work!”
We’re thinking “let’s see if anyone comes down here to grab us. Social experiment. If not, we don’t have to do anything.”
The events that happen when the day should have been a snow day.
The odds of you using any specific piece of knowledge you learn in high school is slim. The odds of you using some piece of knowledge from high school is near absolute and you have no idea what it's going to be or when it will happen, so you may as well try at all of it. The biggest thing you're going to learn is how to learn.
I’m going to print this out and hang it in my classroom.
To my freshmen, yes I always know when you didn’t do my math because you stayed up late playing Fortnite, you added me as a friend on Epic so I see that. Also the amount of homework not done in lower grades when new battlepasses come out is so coincidental.
To a specific freshman, I support your desire to become a streamer, but editing videos should not keep you away from your homework for a whole week and your friends always rat you out when you stay home/skip to make/edit those videos.
To all highschoolers I teach, you’re dumb, but I do love you guys. I’m not stupid and while I know you cheat on your homework, I don’t care since it’s only worth 10% of your grade and you’re forgoing the practice you can get before the test.
To the 6th graders I teach math to. Dear Lord you make me cringe so hard I have to take ibuprofen some days.
I have so much more, but my lunch break is almost over.
How are you teaching both 6th graders and high schoolers?
I teach at a private school. My morning consists of 6th Math, 8th Algebra, 9th algebra/geometry, 10th geometry. Hour a piece.
Afternoons I am the computer teacher. Smaller classes than public school so a bit more manageable.
desire to become a streamer, but editing videos
At least he edits his videos. I have a friend who wants to be a streamer... streams himself playing some JRPG on Twitch for 8 hours, then uploads the raw footage to Youtube in 2 hour chunks. Just... no.
Your sense of entitlement is most likely acquired from your upbringing, so parent teacher conferences to discuss your grades aren’t going to do shit when the parents just blame us, despite you putting in little to zero effort.
HS Band director here.
My gamertag. I usually say there's a policy against it but there isn't. I just don't wanna play Overwatch or whatever with a bunch of relatively good kids who turn into total monsters when they play video games. If I tell the cool ones, it'll get around.
Don't do it. It's like when a kid finds out a teachers cellphone number some how. Then the whole school calls
I don't think I ever will. I know some teachers who play more MP games that have done it and some have serious regrets. :P
i had a math teacher in HS who would only play with you after you graduated. strict policy. but he kept by it apparently.
it worked well as a deterrent too because i had him when i was 16... by the time i graduated i really didn't give two shits about adding him on steam anymore.
I love these posts because the comments are generally well-formatted. Thanks, teachers!
With proper grammar and everything!
I don't care that you came to class stoned. Just stop interrupting class, and for gods sake, don't touch any power tools while you're stoned.
I knew a guy that would come into first period stoned. He would always complete his work extremely fast (and accurately too). Then he would just stare at his paper or whatever when he’s done. Basically a genius when stoned
Edit: I was not anybody’s teacher
I had a copy editor at my high school newspaper who was high as fuck every time he edited our paper but he was the best copy editor and caught everything. He said being stoned just put him in the zone to notice all the little details. Whatever works. I didn’t give a shit.
Best physics students I knew in Uni were always stoned. Helped them not overthink everything, boy I could've used that.
I taught after school care/summer school for a year and I want so badly to tell them that:
!.) now is a great time to find out who THEY are and to stop parroting what they hear other people say,
2.) stop trying so hard to make Jamie like you and be your friend because even though you and Jamie have been friends since pre-k, people growing apart is normal and Jamie is a manipulative minge muffin,
3.) I kept Owen and other trouble-makers close to me in class because giving them just a little positive attention was infinitely preferable to giving them ALL of my attention in a negative light. Plus, maybe they just needed someone to listen and give them one on one, which I'm happy to do.
4.) It's useless saying it because it's not going to make a difference, but this week's crisis won't matter next year or maybe even next week and it certainly won't matter on your death bed
Yeah honestly fuck jamie
A lot of us probably drink, smoke, sleep around, etc more than you do, and hearing you talking about it and trying to hide it as if its something we wouldn't know about is richly ironic.
Or worse, boast about it like it's something we would never understand.
Yes! I love how in high school they still think all teachers are Pearl clutchers. I mean you kind of want them thinking that, but it's still really funny at the same time that students think every taboo thing that they think, say, or do just blows our minds with how edgy they are.
My entire high school’s English department came to the same fancy restaurant’s bar most weekends together to talk shit about their students (it was an hour across town and not likely the kids from our school would ever be in a fine dining place that far away).
I worked there for over a year as part of our wait staff (waiting fine dining is a killer gig if you know anything about wine) when I was in my early 20’s.
I loved talking shit about my old classmates and hearing their honest opinions about me after a free bottle of $200 wine.
free bottle of $200 wine.
Hey it's me, ur teacher.
(I am actually a HS teacher, but I don't teach English, so who knows...)
A few off the top of my head:
Just because I like you as a person doesn’t mean that I won’t fail you. Being smart isn’t a justification for being lazy and I can’t pass someone that never hands in work.
I moved you away from your friends because they were taking you down with them. You have a real future in sports but you need to pass my class to play them. Your friends were making you fail and, if you don’t get to play volleyball, I don’t know what kind of future you have in front of you.
I wish that the positivity that you get in my class could follow you home. I’ve met your parents and they are a nightmare. I do my best to encourage you here but I know that, some days, that just might not be enough.
I have never and will never find a student intimidating. That’s why I laughed at you when you asked me if I “knew who your father was”. Yeah, he’s the manager of a car dealership; that means nothing to nobody. I had a kid throw a desk at me and, while it scared me in the moment, it didn’t make me fear him. One day, you will meet someone who has real power and I just wish that I could be there to see it.
Lol, the manager of a car dealership? Jesus, what an ego.
“My Dad got me a nice car for my 16th birthday so he has to be powerful,” was surely his thought process. The kid was a dullard; he was an 11th grader but functionally illiterate and had clearly been passed up because he was so annoying.
I can not like this enough! The last paragraph really hit home for me. I've had students throw chairs, binders, metal pipes, socks (a story for a different time). I've stepped into enormous fistfights and barricading of classrooms, but intimidating? No, never!
No-one has ever threatened me with a snake though, they don't know my deepest and only fear. Yet...
Edit: So, the story about the socks.
Two students had an argument with raised voices. I can't remember what the argument was about, but they hade just gotten out of gym class. One of the students opened his gym bag, grabbed the nearest object and hurled it towards the others face. The socks hit the student in the face, he made a really uncomfortable face and then hurled them back, hitting the other one in the head. Intervening I had to dodge them twice as they went back and forth. Gym socks worn by teenage boys is kind of a biohazard.
You’re not going to be YouTube famous sit the fuck down and listen
If you are stupid enough to have filmed yourself doing something that can get you in trouble, especially legal trouble, for the love of God don't post it online.
I am not telling them this because plenty of them would see it as me approving of them misbehaving as long as they don't get caught.
I hate the texts as much as you do, but everyone just shrugs when I suggest changing them up! I’m sorry they made us keep that awful After book on the list, I genuinely offered to buy them all back from students so I could burn the waste of time that they are
I had an eccentric literature teacher in high school, Dr. Patyk, who was required to teach The Odyssey. He absolutely hated it. So much so, he taught us off of the Cliff Notes. He explained how he was teaching it to us under protest, in his very thick Polish accent.
Just another example. He organized the class into rows, then by gave each person a rank. The first in the row was the captain, and so on. You got promoted or demoted for getting answers right, but also for completely arbitrary reasons.
Depending on his attitude, mannerisms, and overall personality, that last part could be hilarious or terrible. I'm leaning towards hilarious, but my sense of humour is a little warped.
Makes me think he's a Polish Dumbledor. 5 points to Gryffindor! Move up! Ah! You don't say thank you. Minus 5 points from Gryffindor. Move back!
This was essentially what boarding school was like for me in England. Slightly less arbitrary.
You had a card to collect stars. Red stars were good. Usually 1 or 2 stars for doing something good. 5 for doing something exceptional. If your team beat another school team or you were in the school play you might get 20.
If you did something bad you’d get a blue star. This was minus (I think) 10 red stars. If you got 3 that was a detention.
At the end of a fortnight (or month, or term, I can’t remember) you’d add them all up and report them, and they’d contribute to your house total. Yes there was a trophy.
The only problem with the Odyssey is that it is often taught to kids who are too young, or with a bad translation. Our students read it junior year with the Illiad and other greek writings like The Republic, etc. It is an awesome year discussing battles and glory.
The Illiad and Odyssey are great to learn in the original Greek. My teacher had learnt it by heart (one of his many, many quirks) and he would recite it in class, showing how Homer used the rhythm almost like a soundtrack to the story. How horses galloping on the beach, in Greek, actually had the rhythm of a gallop. Certain set sentences that kept coming back so that the storyteller could catch his breath, or think about the next part of the story. It's a great example of oral storytelling, and surprisingly easy to translate as well.
One day you're going to come across people who are not being paid to tolerate you, and all of a sudden life is going to become considerably more difficult
I feel like they should be told this in person
Yeah I would pay to have this engraved on the threshold of my old high school tbh
I said something like this to a kid with a bad attitude when I was a volunteer tutor, something to the effect of I don't have to be here and if you don't want my help it doesn't matter to me, he was shattered, was crying when his mom picked him up. When I saw him again it was a completely different kid, super respectful.
It’s like when you put up with a bully for ages, you finally stand up to them & then they inexplicably want to be your friend.
One of the most valuable lessons I can teach you is to fake looking busy.
If we're supposed to be working on an assignment or reading or whatever, and you see me coming your way... At the least have a piece of paper on your desk and a pen in your hand and some shit on your paper, and then I won't bother you. If you have nothing going on and can't even be bothered to make it look like you're trying, I'm heading your way.
This lesson will be invaluable with eventual bosses someday.
My welding teacher told me something similar about when he was on job sites. If the boss hasn't told you to do anything then get the biggest wrench you can find and walk around looking worried. The longest hes ever done that for was an hour and a half.
- You passed this course because admin forced me to help you and give you 50 chances. Yeah, you may graduate, but nobody will care to help you afterwards. You have no skills, work ethic, or respect -- McDonald's doesn't want an employee that stares at his/her phone and curses at employees all day.
- I'm sorry that your parents failed you.
- Your inappropriate jokes are hilarious, but I'm not allowed to laugh at them.
- Yes, you may be smart, but nobody will care after you're done with school. Your future boss won't care about how high your raw intelligence is -- so fucking try harder, please.
- Some of your teachers at this school are really stupid.
- He's gross. Don't date him!
- Shut the fuck up while I'm talking.
Edit: Meant customers in the first example, but I’m sure they would curse at employees, too. Proofreading is vital.
You can't bullshit a bullshitter. I can tell 95% of what you're saying is a lie, so stop.
Yes, I do have favorite students. No, I won't tell you who they are because that would discourage you, but yes they're probably who you imagine them to be.
Sort of late to this party, but I often want to tell my students to enjoy themselves more and worry less. And I guess I do tell them that pretty often, but what I really wish I could communicate is that it's perfectly natural to break the rules and be a little more reckless at their age. This would be pretty irresponsible of me to tell them as kids need their teachers to be role models of GOOD impulses, not bad impulses. But sometimes I want to.
Kids today seem very frightened of the future and don't want to take chances, especially when it comes to having fun. I don't blame them based on the environments they are raised in.
ALSO if they have an A+ in my class, they can make a low F on the final and still wind up with an A-.
Yeah I agree with this. I’m 21 now, so not too old but definitely out of high school, and I highly highly regret not at least trying to take more risks as a teenager. As a kid, I couldn’t wait to turn 13 and have that “teen” after my name and be like all the kids in the shows and movies that would go do fun shit. Instead I lay in bed and shut myself out from the world because I wasted time on shit that was hurting me instead of shit that was fun.
This is one of the wonders of doing volunteer work near teenagers. You tell them pro tips and what is ok to break the rules because some are pointless and stupid.
Also they feel respected for you not lecturing them on swearing.
I don't know if there's an exact quote I'd use, but I wish I could let my students know how dumb they look sometimes. And how they need to relax and stop taking themselves so seriously.
I also frequently find myself wishing I could rag on kids' clothes/hairstyles that they've obviously put way too much time/money into (but these thoughts only cross my mind when they're being assholes).
That's the unprofessional/petty stuff I'd say. I could think of something much more wise, but it's my lunch break and Friday and my brain is fried from trying to keep these assholes together a week before finals.
I learned recently that the teenage brain causes them to believe they are always being watched and judged. This is why their appearance is so important to them. Here's a good article too....
EDIT: I'm not saying that people aren't judged or made fun.
My brother went to school for education and he learned about this. They call it the "stage" mentality or something like that. Like they feel they're constantly on a stage and everything they do is seem and judged by everyone. I guess as you get a little older, you realize that you don't pay attention to 99% of other people, so who the hell is watching your uninteresting ass? At least that's how I feel.
I encourage my worst kids as much or more than my favorites because I don’t want them back in my class next year.
I wonder if that's one of the reasons some of those ever pass the grade.
"Welp, they're not my problem now!"
That is absolutely 100% true.
And it's a problem. I work with kids who are "on track to graduate" with a 1.5 GPA and 6 credits by junior year. You're telling me this kid - who reads on a 7th grade level and passed two classes this year - is graduating next year? For a lot of the schools I work with, however, this is easier than expelling (which sometimes I swear is what the schools really want). For reference, I work with youth referred to family court so there are often behavioral problems at play, but come one.
Not a teacher but I subbed for a bit and was a camp counselor.
If you're going to be a shithead, at least be likeable. I had kids who I just flat out disliked because they weren't funny and just annoying. On the flipside, I had kids that I had to hide my laughter and actually discipline them because they were genuinely likeable kids who had shitty habits.
I used to teach English to high schoolers in France.
Most of my students were really good. A few of them I would have really liked to say to their faces that they were little shits and need to work on not being such douchebags.
Edit: also I know Europeans are a bit different with this than Americans but get real deodorant and wear it every day, putain
if you’re jacking off in class we can tell
This is a common occurrence?
Well it's either that or they're getting really into their phone.
That's a common occurrence even without porn
"There were two circles on the board!! what did you expect me to do?!"
When the Venn diagram lowkey thicc
edit: thank you for the silver and gold kind strangers!!!
Went to all boy school. I’m not sure common is the word. But not uncommon.
Edit- and this is my most liked comment ever. I’ll also add that I once saw a freshman attempting (somewhat successfully) to suck his own penis. I’ll never forget that image (20 years ago!!).
I remember getting lots of NRB’s in chapel, classes, everywhere...but I was a real man and went tothe bathroom to take care of my business.
How tf. I can't fathom why you would even consider that something you should be doing when A) there's the bathroom, B) you're going home in less than 6 hours, C) you wouldn't beat your meat in public so why do it in an almost equally public classroom.
Once sat next to a kid in my geography class when I was 12 who was super creepy and would make comments about my developing body etc. He jacked off next to me once (we didn't even have seperate desks, we shared longer tables for 2, 3 or 4 people). I wanted to die.
oh wow that is horrendous
Ok I’ve always wondered this. Wtf do you do when you catch a student doing it? Do you talk to them after class? Tell the principal? Do nothing? Stop them in class?
Best way is to create some cover with a pair-share or something ("Okay class, tell your neighbor who you think is stupider: Huck Finn or Tom Sawyer"), and then quietly tell the kid you need to talk to him in the hall. He can step out without feeling like anyone is watching him because they're all distracted. After a few minutes of cool-down time, step out and say "You looked like you were feeling sick. Do you want to go to the office and call home?" They'll deny feeling sick, and you can say "Well something seemed wrong. Let me know if you need to go to the office."
This way they can save face while also realizing that people notice when you're doing something really freaking stupid in a public place.
I had a teacher that would say there were only two reasons your hands would be moving in your lap and you weren’t supposed to be doing either of them in class
It was very obvious when the guys were caught jacking off with how red their faces turned
Why would one do it in class? Go in the bathroom if you honestly can't wait until you get home. This boggles my mind.
Teen hormones are way worse than I remember apparently
I absolutely brutalised my penis during puberty and was so horny I actually fantasized about the 60 year old dinner ladies. Still never jerked it in class
I can assure you the vast majority of people have never even attempted to beat off in class.
You've seen multiple guys get caught damn wtf, there was rumors around school but i never seen anyone get caught.
One kid did bring his fleshlight to school to show it off i guess? Don't think people were too impressed.
If you’re going to eat in class stop staring at me while you’re doing it! You’re ratting yourself out.
EDIT: Thank you everyone for sharing your stories! I literally laughed my ass off a couple of times.
I’ve already answered this in a comment, the reason the students aren’t allowed to eat is because those are the school rules. I have no say in the matter and I won’t jeopardize my job for it especially because it’s my first year working there and my supervisor pops in once in a while.
Secondly, I do allow water (no drinks allowed either) and I let them finish their meal outside before the second bell goes off. Sometimes they even offer me some!
And if they are truly hungry (they know this), they can just ask me in the beginning of class to eat outside. I also don’t punish them when I catch them, I just politely ask them to put it away and have a laugh (telling them angrily will just piss them off). See, i’m not a complete monster!
it's like when a dog poops, they're watching you for signs of peril from the environment
TIL all my teachers totally knew I was high all the time. Shit.
I knew you were cheating so I gave you a test with the answers in a different order for the rest of the semester. You clearly weren't very bright to figure it out, and yes I am that spiteful. It was easier than reporting the cheating.
For me it's been: I knew you were cheating on every test this term but it didn't really matter because you failed every one anyway. Guess you didn't notice that my computer-based test randomizes the questions.
I took a hybrid course last semester, and when the instructor explained to us how we will take exams, he made it clear that we were to be alone and that the questions were randomized. Also, he told us that he’s had people complain that the questions were randomized like “hey why are the questions in different orders when we take the exams together? That’s fucked up.”
Why those people complained, I have no clue. That’s like complaining to the cops that a meth dealer ripped you off.
Why those people complained, I have no clue. That’s like complaining to the cops that a meth dealer ripped you off.
People do complain to cops about drug dealers ripping them off. They are probably these same people.
You would think that after failing one test they would rethink their cheating strategy.
I made all my own tests and I didn't have a program to randomize. I just went through and moved around all the questions. It was totally worth it. A kid who cared would have realized it. This kid didn't even bother to see what he got wrong when I handed them back.