|Submited on :||Fri, 11th of Jan 2019 - 07:09:22 AM|
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|Subreddit ID :||t5_35n7t|
Seriously, like wtf are you in the shower for if you’re not cleaning yourself.
The tears help cleanse your balls
"Homer, I dont mind if you pee in the shower, but if you're going to do it can you at least be having a shower"
Feeling the hot water hit my back and roll down my body as I contemplate whether I want to continue the day or slip and hit the side of my head.
Well yeah, of course you do that too, but then you wash up so you don't feel as stupid and worthless for not even showering properly.
Oh make the water really hot so i can finally feel something.....anything other than sadness
Masturbating, people masturbate in the shower.
Like do people just get into the shower and just masturbate without running the water or something?
I shower in ball sweat.
Yeah I saw someone on Twitter that had a poll on how you washed your body i.e. a washcloth, loofah, or your hands. And they wrote something snarky about people who wash their bodies with their “dirty ass hands” and I just thought, you’re in the shower if your soap can’t get your hands clean then what the hell are you even doing.
My freshly cleaned hands probably have less fungal shit on them than a loofah or washcloth that has been sitting in the shower anyway.
exactly, i remember reading something about loofahs essentially being a breeding ground for bacteria bc when you scrub off the dirt and dead skin cells they get stuck in the little crevices and then on top of that they’re warm and wet
That’s something I wish I didn’t read.... I mean, what are you supposed to do about it though? I like the lather.
That's weird. I always thought loofah/washcloth snobbery was based on them being more effective at physically cleaning, not the cleanliness of the items themselves.
That’s just Bath and Body Works attempt to infiltrate the world’s homes
I use my arm hands, not my ass hands.
What about the days you wear a ball showercap? I don't want to mess up my perm.
if you have to worry about drying your face with the same towel you dry your balls with you must not be cleaning your balls very well tbh
The answer I didn't know I needed
Edit: awh the silver train skipped my stop
E2: THEY CAME BACK FOR ME
I tell my girlfriend this all the time! Apparently balls are dirty all the time even after they've just been washed?
Yet she’ll gargle them after you buy her Wendy’s hmm
4 for $4 deal drops the panties every time.
I think it's an innate thing for us, cause like, you can wash your vagina, but because of the way it is, there is probably gonna be stuff that gets on the towel that you don't really wanna get on your face. So we don't use the same towel on our vag & face. And then I guess we wonder if guys do the same because they don't really have the same... Leakage?
Being afraid of wiping face after balls is like worry about face after elbow. If you've showered. The only thing with balls is creases and perspiration. After a shower the two are completely indistinguishable. At least they taste the same. 🤷♂️
Edit: facts 🙄
(Eat my ass off)
If they're good enough for your mouth, they're good enough for my face.
I have a beard and longish hair but I like making sure that my balls/gooch area are thoroughly dry so I use a different towel for my lower and upper decks.
Mr. moneybags over here owning more than one towel
Bet this guy is so rich he has shoes
Seriously. Could you imagine, so rich that you wake up every day going to work like someone with shoes? I bet he has a boss and a bus pass and everything.
Do you use small towels or something?
For real. Wouldn’t this same question apply to assholes and women have those. You can’t get pink eye from your balls (unless you wipe back to front like the dude in the thread about the guy who didn’t know you could let the shower warm up before getting in).
That’s why lots of women have a hair/face towel and a body towel, same rules apply
You can't wash off cooties with water nor soap.
And the same guys that have the towel issue have no problem sticking their face in another person’s crotch.
I dry my face with my balls.
Edit. Thank you for the silver, kind Reddit user. And wow, this is by biggest comment yet. Happy Friday world of Reddit.
I dry my balls with my face
I dry your dad's balls with my face.
I dry my towel with my balls
I dry my shower with my balls
I only use towels with Alzheimer
This is where the phrase "I've got a memory like a towel" comes from.
Do women have a vagina towel?
I'm 25 year old woman and have never heard anyone use more than one towel.
What's the point if you clean yourself thoroughly? Maybe it's a cultural thing?
I'm also a 25 yr old woman (hi five, dudette!) and I use two; one for the body and one for hair; but that's mostly because I keep the body towel wrapped around my body as I dry my hair (I hate the feel of loose, soaking wet hair so I use a towel to dry it off before blowdrying it).
However, I do use the body towel to dry my balls.
Oh yeah not judging here! Maybe I was just feeling a bit snappish because my balls never fully developed and everyone in school made fun of me.
Also the tag end is the crotch end, the other end is the face end.
yes the ass-tag convention
Ass tag? How do you play? Do you yell, TAG, you're sh(it)?
Bracketed the wrong part pal
This sounds like the name of a 'The Big Bang Theory' episode .
"I've never been a fan of Internet Explorer"
Crowd laughs nervously and a few grunts are heard from the back seats as people edge closer to hear the punchline.
"Why not? Don't you like the internet?"
The crowd suddenly stands up, aware that they are about to receive what they came for. People slowly edge closer to the set as Sheldon prepares for his next line. Sweat is clearly visible on his brow and his mouth is quivering in anticipation as he readies himself for what is about to happen.
"I just prefer Firefox because, like the fox, I am cunning and nimble."
The crowd suddenly surges forward as the words escape Sheldon's mouth. They are so powerful, they almost shake the very foundations of the CBS studios. He watches as, in what he perceives as slow motion, the crowd moves toward his fragile body. He has been preparing for this moment his whole life. This is his moment. This is his Emmy. This is his Golden Globe. This is even his Oscar. The crowd converges around him so quickly they ignore the trampled cries of Leonard and Penny, who now lie shaking on the floor, their bones crushed by the sheer mass of the crowd. Sheldon stares back at the eyes around him. What he sees are no longer people. What he sees is the human psyche stripped down to its core. Their lives, what they were before this moment has been forgotten. Ravenous. Hungry. They want one thing from him. Sheldon closes his eyes, clears his mind and relaxes his body. What happens next depends completely on the next few seconds. The time between this and what he mutters next feels like an eternity. Slowly, he opens his eyes. He looks at Leonard, then at Penny, both lying lifeless on the floor. Without a second thought, he says with resounding conviction...
In a split second, the crowd pounces on his ready and waiting body. Man, woman, child all at once. Sheldon cries out in complete ecstasy as they consume his flesh. He stops suddenly, as he drifts into eternal slumber. Peace at last.
I go with one side for above the waist and the other side for below. Then I hang it up with the above the waist side out so I don’t dry my hands with the wrong side.
I just showered and paid attention to how I use my towel and I actually use one side for head, body, arms, and legs and then I somehow have the brain to flip the towel for butt n balls.
Now of course I don’t know which side is which the towel gets hung up but like it has been stated, the towel forgets.
Just like how the tag end of the duvet is the foot end.
I’ve lived my whole life with the tag method
The real advice is always from Hitler.
Never thought of using the tag as a reference point, gold.
I always keep the tag on the top right of my body. When I wrap it around myself, I dry my head with the top, and as I go down the section of the towel corresponds with where I’m drying on my body. So I always use the same section for the same body part. And that’s science.
I just go nuts with the towel. Every part of my body is equally clean when I step out of the shower anyway
Thank you sir
Are you me?
The towel forgets
Towel remembers everything and attends weekly therapy for it. It is only us who forgets all.
The combination of agitation in the washer and the tumble heat of the dryer effectively wipes the memories of the towel, with only slight side effects. Studies have shown that less than 1% of all towels and towel-like entities can even remember being washed and dried, let alone anything before that. This makes them easier to control by their human overlords.
Eh, close enough for me
So this is why Towelie is always high.
This is the most accurate depiction of my drying habits. Although sometimes I’ll take the towel and wipe my right thigh, then my left thigh, then go up to my face and carry on back down to my balls. The towel, of course, forgets everything the next day.
I use two towels just to get super dry, but i never think about where the parts of the towel goes. I'm clean.
Its cuz he's rich. Most of us only have two towels. One that's relatively clean right now and one that so desperately needs cleaning we're not sure if it gets it's own load or if it goes in with the dish towels.
They rotate occasionally.
I use different parts of my towel to dry different parts of my body.
I just crawl into a preheated oven
I make a tent out of a big towel and use a hair dryer to simulate an oven
It’s 2019 now, we tweet our problems before doing that.
Ah, i see a fellow intellectual.
One towel for the whole body is not that strange? My body is clean after a shower. Why would I use different towels for ass, balls and face? Wtf?
My belief is that if you have a problem with drying your face with the same towel you just dried your balls on then you didn't wash your balls well enough.
You just showered. If you are still put off by your own body, the towel is not the issue...
for whom the ball towel tolls
The towel forgets, but it never forgives
Hey ladies, do you have a separate labia towel?
I For my asscrack and balls, I use the wife’s hair towel.
Does this bother people? I’ve just showered, my balls are just a part of me. I don’t care which part of the towel touches any part of my clean body in any order with the exception of my buttcrack. Seems really childish.
I just flip the towel the smooth one is for the face the other one is for chest down . After it dries it doesn’t matter which side is for what .
I wash my towel after using them. Just one time each. Towels stink after being left to dry by themselves. Why would you rub that on yourself to dry off.
As for the balls, I wash my entire body. I'm not rubbing dirty balls on my towel before I shower haha
Yeah, same, I just use a towel once and then throw it in the laundry. And since I start drying from the top and then work my way down, the balls thing isnt something I have to worry about.
Do your face with the end of the towel, use the middle for your balls.
Traumatized towel... “I’ve seen things”...
I use my towel for the face and my wife's towel for the balls
It doesnt matter because you’ve just cleaned yourself