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|Post Name :||t3_a3s16s|
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It's difficult, but I have no comparison. Dating wasn't really an option when I was younger. Part of the difficulty now is dating at 40 when I have never been in a relationship. That comes off as very weird.
And I don’t understand why as if it’s not common for a gay man to have never been in a relationship. It’s hard. I’m 25 and think everyday will it ever happen.
I don’t think you can generalize. I’m 40, single dad. It’s incredibly difficult for me, but there are reasons for that. I have friends my age and older who are happily partnered and those who enjoy playing the field. And then I know some who are constantly miserable because they’re either in a cycle of awful relationships or always complaining because they can’t find anyone.
What’s different to me is just the availability of men due to apps. I didn’t have that in my 20’s. You had to go to bars to find dates, or meet through mutual friends/groups. I sort of feel apps are detrimental to making significant human relationships other than just physical. Not to say it’s not possible, but it just seems to me gay guys are either just constantly waiting for something better to come along or they’re incredibly needy and clingy.
Hit the nail on the head!
Bi man in a gay relationship. It's normal to be out. My boyfriend comes to business and family functions as my date and not my "friend" or "cousin". When we book hotel rooms for vacation it's a single bed. Everyone in my life treats him as the integral part of my life that he is. All of this was not possible 20 years ago.
Almost there. What I’ve found is it’s difficult to find compatible guys around my age. There are lots of younger single men and lots of significantly older single men, but a lot of people in my dating range seem to already be in relationships. The prevalence of open relationships and thruples is also more evident than when I was younger.
I met my husband after 40.
44 now. Divorced at 40 (from a man)
I’ve noticed that there is a lack of representation of my age group on the apps. Everyone’s in their 20’s, 30’s and 50’s. All the 40 year olds are partnered up and haven’t broken up yet.
It’s discouraging to see so many open relationships, or cute guys you message but don’t reply. I’ve had a few good dates, but in general if a guy is still single in his 40’s there’s a good reason for it.
I’m much more comfortable with who I am at 40 than I was at 20. I don’t take it as hard when a guy doesn’t message after a date.
I’m still working through a lot of emotions from the divorce and trusting someone takes a lot of work and courage. The divorce was the hardest thing I have ever gone through emotionally. I’d do my coming out again a thousand times before having to go through a breakup again.
I have just met a wonderful guy (from Grindr) and we’ve been dating for a few months now. He’s met my daughter and stayed over a few nights. Taking him home to meet the family for Christmas!
Don’t be surprised if the good 40+ guys are off the apps and you still have to meet them the old fashioned way.
If you’re a decent dude who loves himself, you’ll probably stop using the app when it stops yielding anything.
One of the challenges of having shared custody of a 9 year old is that meeting guys “the old fashioned way” isn’t as available.
“You want to meet for drinks again? Sure. I’ll be free in about 2 weeks"
Grindr and scruff are uninstalled again. Enjoying my time with my new man.
For sure! That’s part of my point—the guys worth dating are busy living life. They’re not on Grindr nonstop waiting for the next trick or the week.
Glad you’ve found a new man!
It’s pretty much the same near-suicidally depressing desert it was twenty years ago when I was young and excited to finally be out and date. It isn’t for lack of effort but lack of reciprocation was a huge factor. I don’t even think I’m benefiting from getting into the “daddy” range either. I have a career and a successful business and great friends. But I still want a plus one. I’m not ready to accept there won’t be one in the future but the handwriting is on the wall.
I tried to find love, date, and all that in my 20's and had a lot of busy nights and a lot of friends but towards the end of my 20's my ex screwed me over bad and all those friends disappeared with the money I used to have.
Spent my 30's rebuilding and now I have career, I'm an engineer and management professional with a busy life and no time for the train wrecks you typically find on onl I'll e dating sites.
Yah I just deleted grndr and scruff...it was recently going no where...i dont want just hookups...we will see where things go
I was pretty shy and super-conscious of my looks/body when I was younger. As I got older I got a bit more confidence and learnt how to look after myself better ... which turns out to be something people like. So ... for me, it got better.
It's virtually impossible.
I came out late..30s..then didn't date..now 40s...so so but def lotta guys want younger than me
r/AskGaybrosOver30 is way more active
#1: The Time A Cop Gave Me A Heartfelt Pep Talk About Being Gay
#2: One of the Murdered: Dr. Jerry Rabinowitz, Hero of Pittsburgh's HIV/AIDS and LGBT Community
#3: Would anyone be interested in a new subreddit centered around gay men's travel and organizing meetups while traveling?
You call everyone sluts but find dating difficult. I wonder why it’s so hard?
Someone also has to find you to be worth having a relationship with, and I’m not trying to be rude when I say that even if you were an Adonis, Doctor, likes all the same things as me, essentially my perfect man, and I heard you call people sluts, you would not be worthy having a relationship with.
No, because even if I wasn’t happily in a long term, fulfilling, monogamous relationship with a fantastic man, I wouldn’t care if someone called me a slut, because I know there’s nothing wrong with safely enjoying sex. I’m sorry that life has made you bitter and judgmental.
Don't bother with the troll. Most likely he's just upset because no one will give him the time of day. Someone doesn't understand that being ugly on the inside is far more detrimental than being ugly on the outside.
Just because your experience sucked, it doesn’t mean you have to generalize.
There’s just as many people looking for something meaningful as they are people just trying to get their rocks off.
I'm 55, and I absolutely do not see myself falling in love at my age. It was fun (if stressful) when I was 25, but nowadays I've got no interest in reliving all that drama.