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Bi guy here. You're still young and its okay to not have everything figured out. Most of us grow up assuming we are straight because that's the norm of society, I know I was conflicted for a long time and only accepted I was bi at age 20. Just know that whatever you turn out to be: straight, gay, bi, or other, that there is nothing wrong with that. In regards to your relatives well there's no easy answer and I can't say I have sorted it out myself. I know keeping a secret like that can be a struggle, but ultimately whats most important is you feel safe and comfortable in your own home, and you certainly aren't required to tell your parents, grandparents or anyone for that matter. Feel free to ask me anything or just chat.
Also know that bi specific spaces like r/bisexual exist.
Edit: For anyone just seeing the top comment I wanted to add in that another commenter was right to recommend r/lgbteens
Thanks you have no idea how much this helps, just telling someone makes it easier I guess. I'll check out the subreddit, thanks again.
Keep talking - it DOES help. Sometimes just getting your thoughts out and having someone acknowledge you is unbelievably therapeutic.
It’s okay to be unsure about things. It’s okay to have these feelings. You don’t have to figure it all out right now.
You be you and be proud of it. Straight, bi, gay - that actually means very little. What matters is that you allow yourself to be happy regardless of who you are attracted to. Be happy because you are valid, you matter, and you are a human that deserves love and respect. Don’t let who you are attracted to define you, because that is just one single trait - that isn’t all you are.
EDIT: Be Safe! If you are certain your parents will be supportive, please talk to them. If not, don’t! Your #1 priority is to ensure your safety and well being.
I love this advice. I will just echo some of these sentiments in my own words. Sexual attraction is a funny thing. You don't have to figure it out. It's not your identity. A lot of people are hung up on labels and categories, but real life doesn't always work that way. Feelings are feelings.
Now, what I will add is that there is a difference between feelings and behaviors. When it comes to behaviors, my advice to you is to be really careful before you act on anything. The best thing would be to have a trusted adult to talk to. But I also want to warn you about that. Some adults who seem trustworthy really are not. Some may shame you. Others may take advantage of you for their own gratification. Some may intend well but not know how to react. You really have to make sure that whoever you talk to is going to respect your dignity as a human being.
Bottom line: relax, take it slow, try to find good people to talk to.
Yeah I just want to chime in here to mention that I didn't figure it out for certain until I got into my 30s just recently, and that came after a lot of dating and exploring what kind of things I like and don't like, so on and so forth. It's your life, take your time and enjoy it while you're young. Fuck, that makes me sound a lot older than I am.
Also, don't let your sexuality define you. Just because you're straight/bi/gay/etc doesn't mean you -have- to be attracted to someone. If you don't feel comfortable with a person or a situation, it's okay to say no and put an end to it. If they don't understand then, hopefully they'll understand later on in life.
Edit: I should mention, the reverse also applies. Just because you're straight/bi/gay/etc, doesn't mean you can't be attracted to someone, either. There's nothing wrong with thinking someone's attractive, it's up to you to decide how you want to respond to that attraction.
Dont Assume anything my dude. You are not gay or bi or straight or anything else. Just let time figure it for you.
Im 100% straight a d I got boners over dogs. Cats. Men. Woman. Frogs. Myself. Fuck man your 15 seriously. Don't over think it. You'll get boners traveling on a bus or a car too you don't have a thing for cars.
I get my hard on over motorbikes!
If I may chime in...I’m a woman, and I also work for the CDC, so I can say a little from both personal and professional perspectives. First, I STRONGLY suggest that you read up on sexuality in growing young adults. Read articles written by accredited doctors and psychologists. (Does your school have a psychologist? Not only could you talk to them, but maybe they can recommend some appropriate material. Or ask your parents if your family’s health insurance covers therapists. Most do. You don’t need to tell your parents why...usually “anxiety about the future” is a good cover story.) When you start college, take Human Sexuality 101. It’ll be an eye-opener.
Please!!! KNOW that virtually all the other guys AND girls your age are also questioning themselves, because at that age, everyone does. I certainly did. As my world expanded, I found myself experiencing so much new stuff, it was like sensory overload. I wanted to see, hear, taste, touch, feel and experience it all. I was drawn to anything new & different like a moth is attracted to a light. I couldn’t control it. Everything new attracted me & I wanted to experiment with it all. Fortunately, perhaps, I was rather shy, so I simply took it all in and just waited for the pieces to fall into place in my brain before acting on anything. (Ok...It was more like inhaling a tornado and trying not to spin out of control along with it while the debris fell around me.) It was a confusing time. Like, I knew I wanted to peak into the boys’ locker room, but my eyes roamed the girls’ locker room on my way there. I admit it was hard road to navigate. At 15, I found myself suddenly attracted to everyone!: the boy next door...and his sister...and my science teacher..and my uncle’s new wife..hell, even my cousin! And the list goes ooooooonnnn! Lol! Looking back now, I laugh, yet it’s all true.
Give yourself time. I realized by my late teens/early 20s, I’m just a straight woman who isn’t afraid to acknowledge a great ass or set of tits on a pretty woman. It’s perfectly normal, natural and healthy to look at another human being and get aroused, especially at your age. Your hormones are almost at the strongest they’ll ever be, and nature is trying to convince you to...umm..”spread your seeds” far and wide. It’s simple biology. It’s how all creatures...birds, bees, humans..procreate & continue the species. Basically, when we’re young and at our peak of physical health, nature programs our minds and bodies to want to fuck everything that moves. It’s like Mother Nature said “I want them to go forth and multiply, so I’ll make sex feel irresistible as soon as kids are finished with puberty.” For you, that’s now & that’s what you’re experiencing.
As far as your attraction to a guy, consider that it might not be that you’re attracted to that person, but just something about them in that moment. Or, you could get aroused looking at a guy (or a part of him) because subconsciously he reminds you of something you like about a girl. Understand that anything you feel for anyone right now, male or female, is purely physical. You’re too young emotionally for deep meaningful relationships, so you’re not really in a position to know what side of the fence you’re going to come down on. You can certainly like a guy or girl at your current age, and even form a committed bond with them. But there’s SO much involved in physical growth and maturity and sexuality and relationships, that you’re not even going to fully know your SELF for years (at least til you’re 25, when your prefrontal cortex is fully developed) so don’t rush to put a label on yourself until you’ve had many more years of life and relationship experience.
Relax, hon, and take your time. Communicate with trusted peers. Do some research. And learn all you can about yourself before you jump into anything with another person, no matter who it is. It’ll all work out! I promise!
I'm bi. It's confusing sometimes. Sometimes I'm more attracted to women, almost exclusively. Other times I only want men. Sexuality isn't static, it flows and changes.
Take time to figure it out. You don't need to call yourself anything right now. Or ever. You do you. There's lots of non-straight people out there who have attraction to people to varying degrees.
Just be safe and look after yourself.
Yeah don't stress about it! I thought I was bi 15-28 and then really felt much closer to gay after experiencing my sexuality a lot. You'll get there :)
You know when you are filling out a form online and the selections are round and you can only pick one? Sexuality isn’t like that. It’s more like a slider bar where there are an infinite number of possibilities between being attracted to girls and being attracted to guys. Where you finally wind up won’t happen until later in life and you’ll probably slide back and forth a bit on the scale...some people slide a little, some people slide a lot. When you are so young, though, a slight breeze can make you horny. Give it time. Experiment, fantasize... as long as you aren’t hurting anyone you’re fine (unless that’s part of the fun, then just be careful and have a safe word). Don’t put so much pressure on yourself to define who you are right now. I’m 34 and in high school I dated 3 girls and exclusively date men now and two of my old boyfriends exclusively date women now. Ultimately this is not what will define your life, it’s just a small peice of the whole. Relax, breathe, and jerk off to what ever makes your dick hard that day.
Just roll with it. I did a 180° from being pretty homophobic to being pretty open to any kind of sexual activity with women, men, trans, etc. I like what I like. That is who I am; nothing wrong here. Do not think too much about a definition/name for your sexuality; rather, start experiencing your sexuality!
Dicks r cool, bro. There was a time in the 70’s when I was a kid, everyone wanted to see that Ron Jeremy (sp) dick cause it was so huge. U could have a all you eat served on it, right?
Just don’t think too much, just have fun and hopefully you will find your calling. I do have say that things r a whole lot easier to talk about now, than rather the 70’s. So u have that going for you
I dont know if it is wise to tell a 15 year old to start experiencing sexuality...
But hey... Who am i to judge🙅.
I agree, but.. You can start experiencing sexuality on your own - exploring interests doesn’t have to mean having sex with people
TBH this site is pretty American so the info is a bit skewed towards American age ranges and values, but many other countries have way lower ages of consent and it is quite normal for teenagers to be talking about such things or experimenting in a safe and smart way.
Why not, with consenting peers? No really, why not?
Why not at 13? Why not 12? Or 10 maybe?... Where do you draw the line?
Imagine you have a daughter or a son, only to find out they are sexually active before being even close to ready or responsible enough for such things. They don't even understand much of what life is, they are completely dependant of their parents...
The worst that can happen is they can get accidentally pregnant. Imagine having your 15 year old child telling you they've done something stupid. How hard would that be for them and you?
or they might get their trust broken, because the other person tells other people, and then the whole school finds out and they are labeled as something horrible and then they end up being afraid of sex and enter adulthood with childhood trauma.
Having sex so young is very irresponsible and asking for trouble.
Sex is sacred and should only be had with someone who you care deeply about, and only once you are fully aware of the consequences. Its a sacred bond of the soul and the heart between 2 people and should not be had lightly at all.
All the best.
Why not 42. Or 64, or let’s just shout numbers.
I stopped reading because if that’s the level of your debate skills I’m out, you’re a waste of time.
I asked specifically why 15? 15 seems a reasonable age for adolescents to begin exploring sexuality and I don’t think it’s too young.
Like i said - the rest was irrelevant.
K, good luck to u.
He’s 15 you freak
the dude is asking about sexuality, he got an answer for him to find out. How exactly do you understand your own sexuality if not by trying things out?
The inner second grader in me just giggled at trying "things" out
Depends where he's at. AoC is 16 where I am and it's not uncommon for people to do it at 15
Don’t panic, you’re still a kid and have a lot of time to figure it out. At 15 I had a gf and was getting boners with her regularly, but today I identify as gay (though not 100%). You don’t have to do anything about these feelings or attractions you’re having yet. Just take the time and enjoy trying to figure things out as they come.
Agreed.. youre young..means just go slow and safe
Hey, also 15 here and still questioning if I'm bi or just gay. You're doing great, just take it slow. Be careful who you tell, and take your time!
I was about your age when I was trying to figure out if I was bi or straight. It sounds like denial but I was legit only into girls until about the middle of high school. Just know that whatever you are is fine, hang in there bud
Yeah, it's hard to pinpoint right now but I'm getting there. Thanks!
Experienced quite the same feelings when I was your age as well. I am 17 now, and I am still somewhat confused but I think you get more clarity once you mature a bit. Just please remember if you are going to do any type of sexual experimentation with any gender please do so in a safe environment and with people close to your age. I made the mistake of thinking I was too old (mentally) for guys my age in high school and got physically and emotionally hurt by some older men during impulsive hookups. It will also help if you can find or make at least one really close friend you can share your feelings on your sexuality with, it really helps a lot to get stuff off your chest sometimes. Hope your journey goes well :)
Don’t think that you need to commit to any one sexuality either. I started to notice my tendency toward guys around 14 or so, and I thought I was bi for a few years. That was until I was about 17 when I started dating guys and came to the realization I would never be able to convince myself to have sex with a girl if it came down to it.
Pmd ya. I'm a bi dude, happy to talk if you're trying to figure this stuff out. I only figured out I was bi last year so I'm pretty familiar on all the sexual confusion stuff
Bi guy here, I realized I was bi through porn. Also through seeing a gif of Bailey Jay rocking her hips in a short skirt. When I saw that dingle dangle it opened my world to the peni, but also confused me as I felt the rising urge to pretty much fuck anybody I was attracted to despite sex organs. Have yet to fuck a dude, but I have given head. So if my SO and I ever break imma be come a hoe.
Bi man here. Don’t worry too much about it all right now, you’re young and just figuring yourself out and what you might find attractive or not. Experiment! (With porn and such though, I don’t suggest actually sexually experimenting with other people until you’re ready and more sound in your sexuality so people don’t take advantage of you.)
Honestly, for me, seeing what kind of porn got my rocks off helped. Did I enjoy it as an onlooker? Or would I picture myself ever finding this scenario enjoyable to participate in? Do I find these people sexually appealing?
Another thing is looking around at boys your age and seeing if you’d imagine ever dating one of them. Does it gross you out or are you comfortable with it? Same with girls.
I don’t suggest experimenting irl with someone until you’ve figured yourself out more and get older. I want you to be safe but still have options to find yourself.
I, personally, just sort of... imagined sex with people who I thought were good looking and found that both men and women are something I found attractive and sexual situations would be something I’d enjoy.
Point is, don’t pressure yourself or get worried about your sexuality and how you fit in, you’re young, you don’t have to label yourself or fit into a box, you’re just discovering these feelings and it’s all new. Explore them but make sure to be safe! Best wishes and I hope you find yourself and feel happy.
Hi! Straight girl here. I identify as straight but have had and still experience sexual attraction to women from time to time. I identify as straight because that's what I'm most comfortable with but I just want you to know that even people who identify as straight can feel sexual attraction to the same sex, and visa versa if they identify as gay. There is no cut and dry way to define yourself and you dont need to yet, or ever. Just go with the flow, understand consent, and have fun.
Good advice ^
Well I hope you read this, so I’m in the same position as you, I’m 16 and I just started thinking about being bisexual like a month ago and now I just can’t take it out of my mind, so I really don’t have a real advice for you just that you know that you are not weird or nothing, there are others like you, if you want to talk just DM me and I will answer 😉
Sexuality is fluid, you don't have to be just one thing, you can like anything. Just be you and forget labels. Like what you like
This! I think people are so concerned with labeling they forget to just enjoy the moments and they have this dire need to classify. I am married to a man. I consider myself straight. But extremely open. I have had sexual relations with women (but never a relationship, I find women test my patience way to much and it's chaotic). There was a time I considered myself bi. But I mostly develope attraction for people after getting to know them and have a wide dating range that doesn't really have a type. Because it's not really the outside that attracts me. One of my ex bf has transitioned and we are still great friends. I supported him through that. I a topped trying to find a category because I just like what I like I don't generally feel the need to label it or me. Now my relationship is monogamous so the rest is kinda null and void. I enjoy monogamy an d the level of trust and commitment involved in that. My husband has no problems keeping it interesting and keeping me satisfied and I enjoy knowing some one on a soul level Completely comfortable being myself with that person (dark parts and all). I like to think we fall in love with souls anyway not the package they come in.
Be yourself. Realize that you are unique and may not fit any label society or religious zealots want to put on people for their own issues. Be safe and explore what attracts you with consent and always always always safety. Don’t limit your experiences but relish and live.
Or in other words fuck the labels and let yourself live and discover you! No need to announce or conform to others expectations until you find you.
hey, bi girl here. it’s okay to not have everything figured out yet. i know it seems pretty frustrating but you gotta remember that you’re still pretty young. you have a lot of time. just enjoy yourself. there’s no need to have everything figured out. good luck bro :)
First rule. Don't let anyone tell you or make you feel like you have to lean a certain way. I'm a 23 year old straight male, I had thoughts about men before especially around your age. They came and went for a while and then eventually stopped all together. Not saying the same will happen to you, it's just as okay for these feelings to remain or even replace women, but don't be afraid of what you're feeling because it happened to all of us. Hormones are firing in all sorts of directions and it's easy to get stressed and conflicted during this. Let me tell you at my age there is a place for you wherever your sexual orientation pushes you, especially in 2018.... I have gay friends, bi friends, straight friends, bros, hoes, knees and toes, it's all about just having a good time, no one really gives a fuck when you get to my age, not even yourself.
Just breathe my man, in time you will find out who you are and you'll look back at this time and chuckle on how young you were.
Straight white male here. No hangups, I feel like people should do what makes them happy. Always thought I was progressive on this issue, until my very attractive female friend told me she was dating a woman (She recently ended a long relationship with a man).
I asked if she thought she was gay or straight, she replied "I just love people?"
I mean god be damned if that's not the answer. Fucking brilliant.
Love who you love and love who you are. Love people, fuck all with the rest.
I just want to give you a hug and tell you to be you.
Ok, you’re awesome person I can just tell
If you think that you may like either sex my recommendation is to explore what you think you might like. You will not know until you try and see if it is for you.
Honestly I feel you. I think I like guys too. I have just been figuring this out and I hate it. It is so confusing. I have only told my close friends. I haven’t told anybody else. But if you think you are, I wouldn’t tell your parents yet because you haven’t fully figured it out yet. I would just try not to think too hard if you are bisexual or straight or gay. Don’t try and put a label on yourself just yet. You don’t know and that is completely fine. The pressure of putting labels on yourself is big so I wouldn’t do it if I were you. Just go with the flow. Good luck, if you need someone to talk to you can message me. I am going through the same thing kind of so I understand.
If you're feeling sexual attraction to guys too then you're probably bi. As a gay guy I always knew since I was very young and never felt sexual attraction to a girl
This. I never ever once wanted to have sex with a girl.
Hey, I'm a gay 17 yo here! If you need any help at all with figuring out your sexuality, I'm here for a chat whether it's a PM or just in this thread!
Sexuality in itself is confusing, you just eventually learn to live with the confusion and go with the flow. Everything isn't so black and white.
I was 22 when I first started wondering if I'm bi. There's still a lot I'm figuring out, but I'm fairly confident that I'm not straight. I agree, it's pretty scary, especially when you consider what other people's reactions might be. I think the important thing is for you to just be you. You don't have to label it if you don't want to and you don't have to conform to anyone's preconceived notions or stereotypes. Just take it slow and steady, and remember that you don't have to go through this alone. Forums like this and r/bisexual are great places to go if you want help, advice, or just someone to vent to. I hope this helps and I wish you the best.
As a 15 year old bi guy who seems to have undergone what you are going through, you sound pretty damn bi. Trying to pass off attraction to the same sex as something else? Check. Want to tell strangers but not family? Check. Needing to ask questions? Check. Developing a crush on guys after already having crushes on girls? Check.
Take a deep breath. If youre like me, you now hate the idea of your only memorable trait being that your bi. Its not, you are still the same exact person except you now know 1 more thing about yourself. Tell friends before family, you can choose which friend to tell first and if things go sour telling your family you can get emotional support from them. Make plans of when to tell family (one critical aspect of the coming out process I forgot and payed hell for). Wait about 6 months to a year after discovery to come out to minimalize regrets.
Everybodys scared at first. But If I could, I would choose being bi over being straight any day. You are a wonderful, smart person who can rise to this challenge. I honestly believe that, and you should too. And Remember, everythings going to be fine.
Hey , thanks for sharing. Your feelings and some confusion are normal for a 15 yo guy, you are moving form being a kid to a man. Do not stress about your sexual identity, you are only 15 and don't need to label yourself as gay/ str8/ bi at this stage. Being attracted sexually to boys /men I s a normal response , same as being turned on by women. Be comfortable exploring what ever sexual attractions you have, be it in a safe and respectful manner. You may be bi or you may be gay , either way it isn't a problem. See how things develop, you don't need to make any "announcements" to your parents or grandparents. Enjoy life, keep active and motivated and be yourself, your feelings & attractions will become clearer as time passes.
embarrassingly I started puberty very late
It may seem embarrassing to you, but really 15 is still within the range of "normal," and from the other side of 40, it really couldn't matter less. Understand that years from now you will look back and you won't care.
am I just gay or straight, and more importantly I just need to tell someone
Okay, you've told someone. Now, a word of advice: as to whether you're gay or straight, the answer is, "you're fifteen, it doesn't matter." Relax, date anyone you feel like (who wants to date you of course), and most importantly, don't worry about it. It's just not important that you have it all figured out yet. Some idiots may hold the fantasy that the person they date in high school is the person they'll marry and have kids with, but in my entire lifetime I've only known of two couples who did that... and one was my parents so that was kind of a while ago. (And even they had a big interlude of him spending a few years in the marines, them both getting degrees and jobs, etc before it happened.) High school dating is all about learning how to interact with someone else and having some innocent fun kissing and hugging. It's not important, so just don't worry about it.
Bi dude here. I know it can be scary to not really know what's going on with your sexuality, and I think most of us (all of us?) go through the same thing. And honestly it may take you a while to figure it all out – I'm more than twice your age and can still be surprised by the whos/whens/wheres/hows/whys of my sexual/intimate/romantic attractions. The good news is there's absolutely zero hurry to figure it out and slap a label on yourself.
If you're "thinking about" guys and girls...well, yeah, you could be bi. You're maybe even probably bi. But who knows? See how you feel in a month, in a year, in five years. See who you check out on the street, who you dream about, whose...uh...imagery makes you feel most electric. When you get the chance, kiss a couple boys and girls and see what it's like.
Don't stress out about it!
That’s just a random boner. Someone told me if you find yourself staring at guys, fantasizing, etc. those are tell tale signs. But just because you got an erection while watching a YouTube video doesn’t mean your gay. I feel you though, I thought stuff like that around your age. It’s probably just because of the stigma associated with it, I don’t think anyone wants to be gay. There’s nothing wrong with it, but there sure is a lot of ridicule that goes along with that, especially at a young age.
The fact that you want "someone to find out" means you should tell someone in person that you feel comfortable around. Maybe it'll help, maybe it won't... But why not try?
The more experience the better.
Source: someone who has no subscriptions on reddit
I was around your age when I realized I wanted to be more than friends with a close girlfriend of mine. It left me super confused because I was also into a few guys. I kind of ignored it for a long time because it made me feel weird, as bisexuality wasn't something I had much knowledge of in my small town. It took me until college, then years of torment in a healthy, straight relationship where I didn't know if I knew what I was feeling. It was rough and I wished I hadn't waited so long, because the older I got, the more time I had been doubting every feeling I had toward someone I found attractive.
I met a girl in college who became my best friend. She was openly bi and she really listened to me, validated my feelings, and helped me understand a lot. Like how if you get married, you aren't picking a "side" (gay/straight), you're picking a person. Same for dating. And while I think it's nobody's god damn business what you do in your private relationship, it found that coming out to my sister made it easier for me to relax around her. I didn't have to worry about hiding half of myself from her.
Just know your feelings are valid. Don't sweat it. When the time comes, go for the person who makes you happy and treats you right.
Gay, straight, Bi, Pan, what ever. These are just labels, words.
Ignore the words and just be you.
Remember normality is an illusion for what is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.
Hey man, whatever it is, it's alright. You are who you are, and you're slowly finding that out.
My advice to you: go out of your way to find some erotica in different genres, and see what makes you tick.
As for telling people - on one hand, having secrets doesn't always feel nice, and on the other hand, staying safe is neat.
No matter what, your parents are going to start treating you differently - in their mind, you were twelve just three years ago, and the concept of you being an adult takes some time for them to process - but nothing ever stays the same.
Sexuality is a spectrum maaaaaaaannnnn
Realize that this “gay” “straight” “bi” “pan” etc are all just words that we made up to put a something in a box. I mean if I’m filling out a form I’ll say that I’m bi but other than that, I’m just me. It doesn’t matter what you are, because you are you ❤️
Hey, I'm 15 too. At 13 I really started questioning my sexuality and identified as bi for two years even tho I had only told my friends at the time. I thought I was bi because I started having feelings for girls. It was very scary and confusing but don't worry you'll figure it out eventually as I did. I didn't realize I was fully gay until early this year and I came out to my parents. For the most part, they were okay with it except my dad didn't want to accept it at first but now we're cool. Some advice I have for coming out (if you decide to) is kinda see where your parents or family or whoever you're coming out to if they're okay with that kinda stuff. I waited until the Lgbt community got brought up to see their opinions and to see if I would be safe if I did. I still haven't come out to my extended family yet but recently found out a lot of my family members have gay friends and there are even a few gay people I'm related too. Don't feel any pressure to tell your family, if you think it's not safe then wait until you think you would be. Trust me once you figure it out and tell someone and finally get a positive reaction for this thing that you've been hiding, it will be the best feeling in the world. I hope through this you'll only get positivity and that you'll be okay. Hope this helped xx
Best advice I can give you: don't think too much. Just let yourself feel what you feel and don't bother so much with labels. Your feelings are the important parts, not the labels.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with starting puberty late. It is just how we are individually made and has nothing to do with sexuality or how you should be judged. It is unique to each one of us.
I can still remember the first girl to start her period and the last girl. Why? Because people wouldn't shut up about it. They wouldn't shut up about the dude who, junior year, finally hit puberty and grew two feet taller and a fresh beard. Or the guy who had a mustache by sixth grade.
Kids are relentless and it's super important to not let anyone's opinion of you ever define who you are as a person. None of their opinions matter. At all.
You are beautiful inside and that's all that matters especially as you get older. It may seem difficult now, but you'll be better off if you love yourself when young. There's a lot of bitter, shitty people, and if your grandparents don't love you for who you are, they might not be the best people to discuss these things around. People have been disowned for a lot less.
Please take care of yourself through this confusing time. There is no "right" or "wrong" on this journey. You do You. That's all any of us can do.
Hey there! Bi person here, there's already a hundred replies, so I dont know if I'll have anything that'll help further.
I want to start off by reiterating what I've seen a few comments say, which is that you dont need to label yourself. Just remember that you are who you are, and as with any aspect of who you are it may take a long time. But there's no rush. You don't have to rush out of the closet, or even decide if there is a closet, and even if you feel one way today it is okay to feel differently later. You weren't 'lying' or 'making it up.' Sometimes your preferences may just change, especially since you're young, and that's okay.
The other wisdom I wish I could have passed to my younger self is that if you stick with something long enough, eventually the right people will come around. Your parents might be confused, (my father told me I didn't know what I wanted, my mother didn't exactly believe me for a while) but eventually if you stick to your guns they will get that it's not a phase. Good people will support you because they love you, even if it takes time they will see you're exactly the same person you always were. Just now you're living the way you want to.
Last advice, bisexuals in particular struggle with visibility, which is why a lot of us might take longer to find who we are. I have had a small number of people -- to my face -- that I need to pick a side, or that bisexual people dont exist, that we are just trying to be interesting, or that we can't accept who we are.
Just remember to trust yourself and be truthful. You'll be okay.
It's important to acknowledge and realize that neither your gender, your sexuality or your gender preference(s) define you completely in any way at all, ever. You simply are who you are.
WHO you are is defined by your character, your intelligence and how you treat others around you, regardless of well... anything.
Right now with those crazy puberty hormones running wild it's not easy to sort all the sexuality stuff out, but, roll with it, chill with it, and focus on making sure that you're being the best kind of person you can be, and above all, have fun! You're young and you have your entire life ahead of you, so enjoy it, one day at a time.
That's simply just the most important thing of all. You're doing a LOT better than you think you are!
Hey bud. It seems like most people have given you the straight forward advice so i'll tell you what i wish I had been told growing up- it's also okay to be sexually attracted to someone and not romantically (so long as you make that clear before getting involved). Its okay to like sucking dick but not like getting your dick sucked by a dude. It's ok to like doing butt stuff but not on your butt. EVERYTHING is okay so long as you're not a dick about it. Everyone's sexuality is different and thats fine.
Also it is super okay to want to try something but to change your mind if you're not comfortable. Sometimes we like the idea of something more than we actually like the thing.
More than anything else you should know that your sexuality will continue to develop and change for your whole life. Its bot just during puberty.
Be safe, be respectful and be comfortable and you should be all good my man.
Straight girl here, so I know I shouldn't exactly be here but I wanted to offer my support too.
My husband is bi. He's always been attracted to both guys and girls. He thought he was straight and everyone just had "those thoughts" for a long time until he finally figured it out in high school. He was scared at first, of course, but determined not to be too bothered about it. He just liked who he liked, asked out and dated who he liked, and never really concerned himself with the labels of it all. He's just him. (Heck, he's probably actually pan.) These days, he's super confident in his sexuality and in his person as a whole. Speaking as the person married to him, this makes for a great person to have as a sexual and romantic partner. (I can touch his butt without him having a complete and utter no-homo meltdown? Hurray!)
For what it's worth, when I went through puberty (~12-13) I was worried I was bi too, because I was just super curious about genitals and development and the other teens around me. But, when push came to shove and I actually thought about having sex with a girl, I know I wouldn't be into it at all. Male bodies turn me on. (I'm also probably demi-sexual, which means I'm not super attracted to people in general until I get to know them very well)
So what I'm trying to say is, puberty is a scary, wacky time. Don't worry about pinning your identity down yet. There are a lot of people who don't really know until much later in life! Allow yourself to like what you like, and be safe if you experiment. Sexuality isn't a neat little box, nor is it your entire personality. While labels can be helpful, don't worry about "fitting" a description. Just be you, and the rest will follow.
Good luck man! If you want advice from a married straight chick or her husband, hit me up. XD
You son of a bitch Masturbate and don't think!
I'm a 40-year-old woman and I still get turned on by looking at both sexes, even though I am straight
When I (31F) was in middle school I saw a woman dressed as a man. I didn’t realize “he” was a “she” until about an hour later. I was so attracted to “him” and the reveal didn’t change that. I started looking at people differently and realizing gender and sex had no impact on whether or not I was attracted to a person.
Over a decade later I met my husband - who is also bisexual - and we got married and had a baby. We are both still semi-closeted (mostly with family) despite being in a nuclear relationship.
It never stops being a struggle and I’m still attracted to women, even in my monogamist relationship. But the most important thing for me is my sexuality is private. What I do and who I do it with isn’t anyone’s business but my own.
Please follow other peoples advice about talking to your doctor, getting into therapy, and finding a safe confidante. I wish I had that growing up so I could have felt more sure of myself.
I know coming out is important to some people, but for me I didn’t think it was my parents business who I was attracted to and the first time I brought home a girlfriend my very traditional, born in the South, dad thought it was great because she “couldn’t get me pregnant”.
First off, I want to say that what you did here is so brave, to ask for help. Most people are too terrified to take that first step.
Recognize that you are brave and strong for owning your feelings and what's going on in your life.
I am not bisexual, so I can't give you advice on that, but know that there is nothing to feel shame about. You don't have to fit comfortably in a box. We tend to want to do this, because it makes it easy for us to understand ourselves and it makes it easy for others to put us neatly into a box.
Your life's journey doesn't have to look like anyone else's but yours. Love yourself through this. Accept who you are. and be ok with the uncertainty.
If I could talk to my 19 year old self, I would say that she is going to turn out great and to be kind and patient with herself.
Hey man I'm 23 and Bi. Never came out to my parents just in case they treated me differently but I'm a huge fan of being open to new experiences and accepting myself. Go ahead and try both sides. Don't be afraid of what other people think and just be yourself. Just last week I went to the store with a girl I like. We both got sex toys in front of each other and neither of us cared. These are the type of people you should be around and you'll never find them till you are open about yourself. Hope this helps.
I got a boner on YouTube while watching a guy
With his hot girlfriend
Hey guy! Don’t stress. You are still young and have plenty of time to figure it out.
Others have already said the big stuff. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone and supported by many!
Lmao u gay
I’m not Bi but when I was around your age I felt the same way for a while. It is definitely okay to not know but more importantly it is OK to change your mind. If you feel the need to tell someone (and you think someone close to you like a friend or your parents will be accepting) then tell them whatever you think at the time and don’t be afraid to change your mind later. There is a lot of hate towards Bi people both outside and inside the LGBTQ+ community about “picking a sexuality”, don’t let it get to you. And coming from someone who came out at 14 to my parents but not my friends, just tell your parents and at least 1 friend (if you’re ok with it). Not having to tip toe around it with my parents was amazing, but ever conversation I had with close friends was an anxiety filled stretch of wondering if they figure it out and restraining myself to not accidentally let it slip. Also once I did tell a friend my senior year it felt like the floodgates were open and soon I had told almost everyone and I was never happier in my whole high school career. Also it’s okay if it takes awhile to tell someone. It took me over a month just to be able to come out deliberately to my best friend.
So yeah tl;dr: it’s okay to not know and to change your mind later. Telling someone, anyone will be a huger weight off your back, and it’s okay if coming out takes time, working up the courage to do it is tough.
Hope this helps.
Hey kid yeah that is totally normal to feel regardless of what you may be identifying as you know. We all question our sexuality at some point. In regards to your family if you feel comfortable disclosing that kinda thing to them you can, and if you later decide down the road you don't like boys or you do that's fine too. It's totally normal to experiment until you understand what you want. My gay straight alliance really helped me understand myself a bit more when I was in high school and it gave me a support network and friends I have had for life. But if you want to be private about it; guess what that's A-okay too. Best of luck and be proud of who you are regardless and never feel same in that facet of your teenage years.
I went through the same thing and I felt exactly the same way. That unsure feeling never went away for me, and I still feel like I could go both ways. I tend towards guy because it's easier to be gay than bi.
I spent a lot of time worrying about where I was on the spectrum when I was 16. Whether I was more gay or more straight, as I could definitely feel it changing day to day, month to month to one way or the other. The main takeaway I got was that I enventually realized that I was somewhere in the middle and it didn't matter who I was fancying at the time or what got me excited, I was still bisexual. I don't know if you are or not, but just try to remember that your age is a time of a lot of changes in many aspects including your sexuality. And it's totally okay if you decide that you might change your mind later or feel completely differently now than you might feel 6 or 30 months from now. What you're going through is totally normal and okay. Good luck!
I was "straight" until I was 14 and had a dream about dating a guy. A few months later I reconsidered my attraction to women and started coming out as gay.
I had people tell me this when I was questioning and it was impossible, but don't worry about labeling yourself. Things will settle down and you'll figure it out.
Its perfectly normal man! Im a straight guy, but, when I was in puberty my horomes had me all over the place and I had no clue what I wanted. That being said, gay, bi, straight or whatever you end up as; just know that jet fuel cant melt steel beams 👍.
Bi here. I went through something similar, though I was a very early bloomer. I jumped between liking girls, then guys, then girls again and eventually told people I liked guys around the age of 16 and everyone labeled me as gay so I went with it. Now at 25 I'm exploring being with females again. My advice for you is just to do what feels natural. If you find yourself looking at guys, don't beat yourself up about it. We can't help what gender we are attracted to.
If you think your parents will be accepting, then that's amazing! If they accept you, they won't treat you any differently, but if they are accepting you have to be prepared that they may ask some questions. My parents made me have no doubt they would accept me, and when I came out they didn't, although I think because they are very accepting they wanted to ask me questions to make sure I was sure as they knew I would now be leading a more difficult life. I was worried about telling my brother and grandparents, so my mum offered to do it for me, which ended up being a blessing because when I did see them all next, not one of them mentioned it or treated me any different. Every situation is different, but in general, just do what feels right to you.
U have the big gey
you’re so cute, its okay! you will come to some conclusion eventually, but i remember when i was in the same boat as you. except im a girl. it took me about 18 years of my life to finally realize that yes, i am bisexual. before that, i spent a lot of time going back and fourth. but now, i am with a beautiful nonbinary person and i am so glad. if you truly love someone, you should not let anything or anyone stop you no matter who it is.
Hey guy, I'm not a bi dude but I definitely can relate to the confusing feelings of being attracted to both sexes at once. Sexuality isn't the black and white binary barcode we were all raised to being familiar with. Instead it's a wonderful fluid mix of different colours moving around at whatever pace you want to move in life (like those trippy psychedelic gifs). You're still young and developing who you are going to be as an adult and this includes what kind of people you're going to be attracted to. What you're feeling is normal and okay, and you don't need to put labels on your sexuality if that's not what you're comfortable with. Be open to dating people from across the spectrum (But again, whatever you are comfortable with) and don't feel bad if you actually aren't as attracted to someone as you thought you would be because you don't owe anybody shit. And if you'd rather spend time alone to get to know yourself better, thats great too (because again you don't owe anyone shit).
Your bi my d u d e
Don't worry mate. Hormones can have a crazy effect on people. While I was going through my teen years, I very much bi. Once that was over, I slowly settled into mostly straight, though willing to try it with a dude if they were my type. Ultimately do what makes you happy, and try not to have any regrets.
I'm straight and sometimes I get excited similarly. Nothing abnormal or to be ashamed of.
Every dude thinks they're gay at some point, almost exclusively in teen years.
You probably won’t get to read this (buried) and who the hell am I to give advice right? But hey here’s goes. Try and enjoy your adolescence. I wish someone had kind of told me when I was younger but you don’t have to have everything figured out! You like a guy, you like a girl, it’s all wonderful! I spent so much time worrying about how to figure out who I was that I didn’t really enjoy the moment enough. I wish you the best! We’re all here to talk if you need :)))
You're 15 and in the midst of puberty. You've probably lusted after everything with an orifice at one time or another. That's one of the problems with all the gay propaganda flying around. Kids like you get confused when you have what seems like a gay thought. It doesn't mean you're gay, it means you're horny. And normal.
Late bloomer? Yeah, that can be tough for a while. Been there, done that. At your age and stage of development, I was a senior in high school. All but a few of the girls were taller than me. Be patient. It'll be fine in a few years. My 4th grandchild is being born right now.
Ladies and gentlemen, get got him.
Be safe, ask questions, Google things thoroughly before exploring, stay informed. It's OK to explore, it's OK to like and dislike things, just take care of yourself.
Eh... I was Bi. Or maybe kidding myself. Slept with lots of women and guys. Prefer guys by far. Isn't so much the sexual aspect, it's the emotional part. I can have sexual relations either way, and enjoy it. But for me it goes beyond that. And for you... you know what you like. Don't be ashamed. Just live your life. And don't stress about stuff like that. I'm 41. Shit was different when I was growing up. Now it seems like no one cares about sexuality. So whatever you are... just embrace it. You're ok.
Take a deep breath. You don't have to figure out everything all at once. Eventually you'll just know. In the meantime, be safe, and don't do anything foolish with anyone.
Dude im the same too lol
You're still young. Nothing wrong with liking both sexes. Experiment in life, never know what you like until you try it. Theres no rush, dear. ❤ best of luck
i don’t think it’s uncommon for straight guys to find other guys attractive in that way. i think it’s more common and natural than u think. it’s like females, we get aroused when we see another hot female with a great body, but that doesn’t mean we’re lesbian. it’s if you start developing feelings and crushes that is where the crossing over the rainbow takes place
Bi female. I started as that. My best advice (based on what I have experienced) is just accept things and let them be.
Youre bi curious at the moment. If you prefer guys more, you're gay, if you prefer girls youre straight, if you like both, you're bi. If you have the urge to remove your penis, you're a transgender. If you dont like anything youre asexual, if you like everything including trans and eunuchs, you're a pansexual. Or if the worls was perfect, you'd just be human. Dont think about it too hard, you're young, experiment a little with consenting participants, and see what you like more. You have your life to figure it out. Theres no rush man.
Well, boners are sexual regardless of if you see them on yourself or another, now if you want it in you thats a diff story
22y/o girl here, I may be out of place but I can relate as I’ve just in the past year or so have started identifying as bi. Honestly sexuality is a spectrum, I’m bi but I would still say I’m more often than not attracted to men over women. I’ve never dated a woman and honestly find it hard to picture being with a woman romantically, but I know sexually it’s no problem. You’re young and I know you’re confused but try not to worry too much. Let yourself feel how you feel. I also feel like my family would treat me differently if they knew I liked girls, so I’m not out to them and it honestly hasn’t been an issue. If I ever want to date a girl, I’ll tell them. But til then I’m not stressed about it
Why do you say, "um" when you're typing something? That's dumb.
Sometimes people can be sexually attracted to the same sex but not want a committed relationship with their sex. We're a weird species.
Don’t be too quick to pigeonhole yourself into a category.
Statistically likely to just be a phase of puberty.
Don’t let it worry you. You aren’t old enough to know yourself yet. Wait until you’re at least 21 before you decide what or who you are.
And tell any creep messaging you to fuck off & report their pedophile asses.
One thing that I didn’t know until fairly recently is that sexuality is a spectrum. You can be straight, gay, bi, or somewhere in between like bi with straight tendencies. And it’s 2018, which means that humans accept humans regardless of how they live their lives. You’re still you. You’ll still be you no matter who you wanna boink.
I’m straight myself, but my advice is to go with how you feel. It’s all very confusing but give it time. Also, starting puberty late isn’t embarrassing at all! I started a year or two late as well, it’s actually very common to be late, and it’s totally out of your control (unless you consult with an endocrinologist for growth-related problems/advice).
Good luck man, and remember to be whoever you are. Don’t resist your feelings because they’re unexpected and weird, just go with the flow and it’ll all work out eventually.
You're still young. Don't let the internet tell you what to like, or what you like. Wait till you're older. Whatever get's your engine going gets your engine going. That's between you and whoever you're trying to get with.
Not an expert but i say im bi like 98 percent into dudes 2 pcent girls...but done lot more w guys but the odd girl excites me
I am bisexual and had this same experience at your age.
Don't be scared of it you're overthinking it. There's nothing to fear in in being Bi. Whatever gets ya goin is just that. If your parents will be accepting I don't see any reason they would treat you differently. Old people are a bit trickier though but there isn't much you can do besides see what happens.
Another bi guy here!
I always figured that if I was gay I'd figure that out because I didn't like girls. I was pretty certain I liked girls, so there, straight. That was my thought process at like 13 or 14.
...It didn't even occur to me until I was 18 to consider the question of whether or not I also liked dudes!
Point is, it is absolutely not weird to figure that out late!
I mean, I’m straight but have more friends that are lgbtq+ than not. So... with that said likely your bi, or hormones are fucking with ya. Personally, I’d wait until you something for sure to act on it, but I’m not you. Good luck regardless.
If you end up realizing you're bi youll find out you have a higher (maybe) preference for genders with different types that might not relate at all.
Hey so here’s the thing, if you’re thinking you’re bi you probably are. Let me just save you the time
Straight guy here: like I said. Straight. But when I watch amateur porn, I still love watching the girl get the good dick. Contrary to what a lot of insecure men will say, I don't mind seeing a penis in a porno, amateur or pro.
There aren’t too many guys that are bi... you might be one of those guys, I don’t know you have to explore that for yourself. But as Adam Carolla used to say when he did love-line when a guy says he is bi it means bye-bye ladies... and there’s nothing wrong with that.
My dude, youre Bi and thats 100% okay. Im Bi too. You dont have to come out if you dont want to. Its your life, your sexuality, and your choice of who and who not to tell. (You could also be Pan or something)
No need to label yourself now. Give it some time and feel it out.
Just be you, for awhile I was so scared that I was attracted to guys and didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to be and I think that fear of me fighting it made me even more confused. One day I literally said fuck it and watched gay porn... (not even kidding and no I’m not trolling)
I wasn’t into it that much. I think I realized that sexuality isn’t black and white. I started to let my mind do what it wants and stopped being scared of possibly being gay. I was going to be who I am and nothing was going to change that. The moment I started thinking like this is the moment I knew I definitely was way more attracted to girls because I was being me and wasn’t letting other people influence my decision.
Sooo.... just be you and you’ll figure it out. Stop worrying about what everyone else thinks and be happy 😊
Good luck with wherever your life leads you. Don’t be afraid to be who you are. You don’t have to define yourself to a box, you might be straight, gay, bi or all the shades in between. You might even flip between them at times, and that’s ok.
Also.... as someone who works with young people, a gentle reminder.... please don’t meet anyone from the internet without talking it through with people you know offline! Stay safe :)
You’re perfect and courageous.
Its okay to be figuring yourself out! Hell I'm 25 and only recently figured out I identify as non-binary. <3
when i was going through my teenage years, particularly 14-15, i experienced similar confusion. i would be day dreaming and all of a sudden im thinking about dicks. i would be masturbating over women and suddenly a male enters my mind but i keep going. i was always so worried over what my father would think if i was gay. i personally did not want to be gay but i understood its not a change you can force.
i struggled with these thoughts and concerns for years. its as if i didn't want to be gay so badly that its all i reluctantly thought about sexually. but over time i did come to the realization that im not gay, i just cant help the thoughts. even today (in my late 20s) i still dont exactly mind looking at dicks, i dont love it, but i dont mind and can appreciate a good looking dick (i feel gross just typing this). i dont like watching guys kiss or close ups of the male body, it puts me off. i have a bad habit of looking down girls shirts (love that downblouse) especially my mother in law, or at the booty when they bend over, and that said, whenever i notice men bend over, my eyes always go to their butt, even though i can confidently say i have zero interest in it at all, sexually.
everybody has their own different experience and journey discovering who they are. it is up to the individual to learn to accept themselves and be confident in that. goodluck
Just go with the flow, don’t rush to label yourself. Be yourself (in regards to your personality/interests) and keep your mind open with your sexuality. A pattern will emerge and then after some time you will know. Chill.
Still feel this way, definitely bi but not out yet. I personally think sexuality is more of a spectrum, rather than a few boxes you happily slot into, but that’s another topic. Something that really helped me was just telling a close friend (which you don’t have to do at all), but it felt very validating - I confronted my fears in acknowledging it, and in telling someone, this thing that had only existed in my head, became sort of real. That said, I also still haven’t told my parents, as it’s pretty scary, so I can’t really talk too much about bravery.
If I were you, I wouldn’t really act on it now - give it some time, and try not to worry too much (easier said than done, I know). There’s no timeline here, you don’t have to tell anyone, date any guys, any of that. Your sexuality is your business, and it’s up to you who you choose to share, or not share, that with. Hell, you could be totally straight and just having some thoughts - a lot of my straight friends say they’ve felt that way at one point or another. It’s entirely normal, and you aren’t weird for feeling this way. For now, I’d let things play out - you’ve got a lot of time to think, grow, and figure things out.
Something I wish someone told me: you are still 100% you. Just as much “you” as you were when you weren’t having these thoughts. Just as much “you” as you were when you thought you only liked girls. Just as much “you” if it turns out you only like girls. Just as much “you” if you decide not to tell anyone, or decide to tell everyone. You are you through it all. It isn’t always easy, but being honest to yourself is one of the most beautiful things in the world. And believe me, you, of all people out there, got this.
Hey. It started like that with me as well. When I 14, I was cycling home and i saw a guy who was very hot, and my mind wandered off to... Stuff, and i got a boner. From that moment on i started looking at gay porn sometimes and fantasising about my male friends and now i have a boyfriend. It's normal that you don't discover your gay/bi side until late into puberty.
OK ' this is completely normal and many guys your age will have some sort of experimental sex with other guys, since you are all going through this "discovery" phase at the same time. Some of you will be gay, and others will be straight. Just relax for the time being until your dominant side is really clear - and if it doesn't become clear..ie..you like having sex with both girls and guys, that's cool too.
About your parents and grandparents....have you told them that you masturbate, or expect to tell them when you first have sex with a girl? No, I didn't think so.
So why do you feel that you need to tell them about whether you are gay or straight. Its not like you are doing anything wrong that you need to "own up to". When the issue becomes clear to you, then you can let them discover for themselves. And if one day you bring a girl home and the other time you bring home a guy, and they ask you about it, just say "I pretty much like both at the moment, which even feels a bit weird to me, but if I can accept it at my age, then you should also accept it"
My parents I am sure knew that I was gay but I never told them until one day I brought a guy home. They were much cooler about it than I ever imagined. My mother even told me that if she was born in a different time, then she would have probably experimented on both sides of the fence. NEVER underestimate your parents and grandparents when it comes to understanding these things.
Just enjoy your fantasies and when the time comes to have sex, make sure that you are comfortable about your decision, enjoy it and don't feel guilty or obligated to anyone simply because you had naked fun together.
Bi chick here. I only worked out I was bi because I would shag my editor and Tom Hiddleston (Both dudes) but I would also shag my hot stripper mate and Scarlett Johansson (both chicks). I kiss guys and girls when I’m drunk and would let either kiss me sober. You’ll be fine. Of course people will treat you differently, but I’d rather that than keeping it secret (someone here has glaringly obvious rainbow hair - and it’s me)
I'm a bi man in a long term hetero relationship. One thing you should remember is that you don't have to apologise for your feelings. There will be a lot of lgbt people who will tell you your not "really" queer (especially if you find yourself in a hetero relationship) and a lot of straight people who will say you're gay and ashamed of it or straight and looking for attention.
You are just you and that's perfectly fine. People are hot. Men, women, and everyone else.
I like to think we fall in love with souls anyway not the package they come in. Agreed just be you and enjoy the ride.
Drop the labels and go after whatever you like. Protect yourself from abuse and enjoy life.
You think 15 is very late to start puberty? I found out yesterday that I am still going through the worst part of my puberty at 25 years old 😂 fml 😂
Nobody could oblige you open your thoughts and intimate feelings!
You definitely has a time for looking around and so all.
So give yourself - to both of hand and soul - some liberty with your new possibilities and just have fun with your random boners.
I'm sure that one morning you shall wake up and after having look at the person sleeping nearby - you shall take the decision.
I’m 100% straight but get boners when I see dicks in porn. Soooo
You might be bisexual
You can be gay with Matt, just be straight with me.
I'm "gay" for a very little amount of men. Bisexuality is a spectrum like that. Some people like men and women equally, some like women a little and like men a lot, and some people, like me, like men a little.
You'll find the balance once puberty ends at the latest.
Hey man, I'm Bi
For me, liking men came a lot later in my teens, but I had always liked girls. Your feelings, like all of ours, are complicated and sometimes they don't seem like they make sense. With time you will probably become more comfortable feeling this way as I, and most others, did.
My advice is to take your time, it's not a race. Don't come out too soon when you're not ready. You'll know when you're ready because you'll want others to know. Just focus on you and explore your feeling, and most importantly, take it slow.
I questioned wether I was gay or straight many times, but I'm comfortable calling myself Bi. It doesn't matter what you are, I mean you really don't even have to pick a "side". Just feeling it out and wait.
If you want to talk about it more, feel free to PM me. Everything will be alright :)
I'm near the same age as you are but I'm a girl and identify as bisexual. To be honest, we can't exactly tell you what you are because we're not you, but if you think of men in a sexual way then there's a chance you're bi. Or maybe it's "Just a phase".
You never know.
Watch Big Mouth season 2. I know it's a comedy but that takes the sting out of the heaviness that is puberty. There's a couple of story lines in s02 that are about bisexuality but there's also the introduction of the character Shame Wizard based on a lot of the findings from Brene Brown's shame research. You might find more answers from that than trying to figure out your sexuality (which is your business at any age!)
The age you are in was very confusing for me too. Being a male bi guy I actually was first into other boys but later discovered I like girls, too (a lot). For me it was actually mindblowing at the time I realized it. And nowadays I still like both and identify myself as bi. My advice would be to take all the time you need and don't let yourself be pushed into a corner or stereotype. Like someone else wrote here already, sexuality is more like a slider with hetero- and homosexuality on opposite ends. bi-sexuality is in between but has many different degrees in respect to these ends.
I'm bisexual. It is normal to be scared by stuff like this. I didn't feel attracted to men then all at once when I was like 16 I started to catch feelings for another guy at school. That scared me. I was sure 120% sure it was just girls no exceptions. Then it wasn't. That's fine. Since then it's been other guys too. If no one else said it, check out r/bisexual. The stickied posts and general support helped me to admit to myself who I was. Also, don't worry so much about putting a label on your sexuality. Bi, pan, straight, gay, not sure yet are all fine.
Side note, come out only when you feel ready. It feels good to not hide feelings but you make that decision, don't let others pressure you to.
I figured out I am into crossdressing when I was 16. Me being 16 I thought being into crossdressing = gay. Because that what sitcoms told me. I wasn't attracted to guys though. So I was hella confused. Took me till I was 20 and a one night stand with a guy to figure out that I am just very kinky and do not have an attraction to guys per se. I discovered only recently that I am actually attracted to very feminine guys though. So I guess you could say I am bisexual or "heteroflexible" which is a term I have seen used a few times, describing the area between straight and and full on bi.
What I wanna say is, don't stress it. Be open minded, try things out. See if you like it, if you don't well then you know for certain. No harm done. And also take your time figuring stuff out.
Just know mate that what you're doing is not a normal thing for straight people to do, I did it myself and I had the same feelings. Denial can be very powerful
Oh it gets even more confusing. Just because you can be attracted to guys doesn’t mean you actually want to have a relationship with them.
I would say I’m a 75% straight female. I LOVE guys. But I can also be attracted to females. BUT I can’t seem to be serious enough about females to actually be in a relationship with them. I’ve slept with girls, and tried a relationship a couple of times- which never worked out because I just couldn’t take it seriously.
Sexuality isn’t black or white. There’s a spectrum. I’d advise you just chill out, try to be aware of and comfortable with your feelings. You don’t have to tell anyone anything.
What if you tell your parents you’re bi or gay, but then it turns out to be a phase and you outgrow it? Then you went through all that drama for nothing. If you end up meeting a guy you really like and start having a relationship.....THEN is the time to start admitting your orientation to other people.
The first rule of bi club is constantly wondering whether or not you actually belong in bi club. I suggest checking out r/bisexual. A lot of people have gone through the same “wait, am I gay AND straight??” feelings that you seem to be having right now. I’m 25 and I’m still in a constant cycle of “but what if all along I was actually gay/straight!”
Whatever happens, just remember that your feelings are valid. It’s okay to think you’re one thing and then realize you’re another thing. It’s okay to not know what you are. It’s okay to change your identity several times as you figure yourself out. Nothing you’re feeling is wrong or bad, including uncertainty.
I recommend you to stop watching sexually explicit material (i.e. porn) for a while and see if you feel the same way.
I recommend this because it is well documented that people watching porn often start getting feelings of same sex attraction.
Anyway, other than that I don’t think you need to worry about it too much. This might just be a phase and if it’s not you will know in a few months time.
When you are a teen, esoecially in an early puberty stage, doubts about your sexuality are quite common. Don't worry, it'll settle later on. Also, you might be bi but at this age it's hard to say since your body and mind are both going through enormous changes.
Dont force a sexuality upon yourself, just figure it out as you go.
I'm bi, I went through the second feeling when I first started questioning stuff. I was also 15 at the time and it's a hard thing to process. I remember crying when I first told my brother & sister, it's a very emotional time. It was harder to tell my mum but it's best to tell your parents and be open about it. I've found it so much easier to be open about it and accept myself for who I am.
I hope it goes well for you and your family are supportive.
I understand completely bro, I was in a similar situation when i came out when i was 15 going on 16, (that was two years ago). I came out as Bi but then i was sure i was gay, but now i identify as Gay-Pansexual and I am also Genderfluid and you might be Bi, but you will need to experiment to see what you are into. Good Luck, Bro
I’m not bi, but I am 15 and felt very similarly to you a couple years ago (happily out now). I thought I was bi for a while (not that that’s what all bisexuality is, that was just my process) before I really figured it out. Honestly even now I doubt sometimes. I’d tell you to just wait it out; it’ll just become clearer over time. That’s the advice I got, and it SUCKED because I hate not knowing what’s coming, but it’s so true. Hang in there!
Yo Im bi and 15; i went through exactly what youre describing. I recomend telling your mother or father casually, or as casually as you can. Otherwise it might be hard to get off your mind and make you anxious or smth
As a bisexual guy in his 20s trust me, this is totally 100% okay! When you're young the unexpected erections and thoughts can be super confusing, puberty is rough on most of us, and many of us didn't go by our current identity until our 20s. It is 100% possible you are straight, bi, or gay; and all of it is okay!
How you choose to identify is also totally up to you: many people i know choose to identify as straight despite some M/M attraction, as lesbian despite F/M attraction, as bi no matter which genders they prefer or notice more often (side note, these days bisexual and pansexual mean pretty much the same thing, most of us only use one term over the other for ease of explanations), and many people identify as asexual despite having occasional attractions.
The one thing I would recommend the most is to just ride it out; notice what you notice, think about what you think about, and just don't bother attaching a label to yourself when you're in the middle of a hurricane of hormones. Sometimes it can be dangerous for anyone in the lgbt+ to label or out ourselves if our living situations are volatile, especially like if you live with family and are in school. Just live your life, be safe (safe sex is 1000% important, especially if you experiment with other guys!), and try to remember life and sexuality are fluid; you don't have to decide anything right now and can just enjoy your life with whomever you like!
Hey, I'm gay but I only found when I was 17 the same way. I always thought I was straight because most people are and it's somewhat considered normal especially if you have a father and a mother.. you know what I mean.
Easiest thing I was told recently:
Do you think of girls or boys when you masturbate? Girls: straight, boys: gay, both: Bi
your fantasies usually don't lie to you.
But as I said earlier: it's okay not to know at this point it will develop. And if your afraid you will get treated differently start talking about imaginary friends that are gay/Bi and wait for there reaction
Hi, I had the same thoughts, but after a little while it'll become clear lol. Just don't worry about it right now since you're still young.
Your parents will treat you differently! They’ll treat you as a bisexual son that they love instead of a straight son that they love! Which will make you all the more proud to be yourself!
I remember that confusion. Being bi is difficult as you don't know if you're gay or straight or what!
Others will give you stories and advice but my biggest piece of advice to you is, stop worrying and caring about what you are.
Stop trying to put labels on yourself, and learn to think, I'll do what I want with whoever I want. Don't bother with labels, am I bi, gay, straight, heteroflexible... I did all of that and it made me so depressed not knowing what I was. When I gave up caring my life became so much simpler.
Just be you, and do what you want with whoever you want.
Talk to a counselor. If you come here for help you’re just going to get a one sided opinion in majority. Worst case it will confuse you more.
Hey bro Talk to your parents cause only their opinion matters. Forget about society. It's not worth it. Live life ,the way you want to live. Yolo
pansexual 22f here :) as a teenager i never felt like bisexual was the right word for my orientation but i didn’t know what else to call it and it seemed that everyone around me HAD to put a label on MY sexuality. don’t worry about putting a label on it. humans are an attractive species, full stop. for me personally it never came down to what was in someone’s pants to determine if i found them attractive, it was pretty random lol. what im trying to say is there is no rush to define yourself, because you are perfect just as you are.
"I don't know if this is the right subreddit but if anyone here has farmed for karma before...I just needed attention. Thank you in advance for your upvotes."
Hey Bud! I think it’s quite normal to think that way and I doubt you’re Gay (to be honest). I’m a straight woman but I still check out women (except I don’t get wet) and believe me it could just be this desire of looking or being like those men and not more than that.
In fact, I had a chick I found super attractive in school and it was just that... I think it’s pretty normal and has nothing got to do with being being on either side of the table.
PS: This is my personal opinion.
Hey ummm no umm